Saying No to the Good to Clearly Hear God in My Life FtImg (#SelfCare #WhenGodSaysNo #Discipleship #ChristianLiving)

Saying No to the Good to Clearly Hear God in My Life

Do you have a safe place?  No?  I mean A place you can relax and be yourself without fear of rejection or criticism…

My youngest Little Blessing caries her safe place around (a blanket she loves) with her all over the house.  When the demands of life overwhelm her or she is in trouble she wraps herself up in it and hides from the world.

In her safe place she can calm down to hear what we are saying.  Weather she listens and obeys is another story 😉  But she can hear us and knows we are here when she needs us.

Everyone needs a Safe Place

I’ve searched for a safe place for a long time.  Every time I think I’ve found that space, God seems to take it away.

Psalm 46:1-3 God is my refuge and strength - my safe place

Could you use some Joy infused back into your Marriage?

 This is a small part of the Wives Only Marriage Course – Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage

Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage Online Marriage Course for Wives Only PinIt ( #findinghopeandjoyinmymarriage #ChristianMarriage #ChristianMarriageadvice #BiblicalMarriage #Relationshipadvice #ChristianLiving #HopeinMarriage )

Who is this Marriage Course for?

  • Are you a wife worried that your Christian Marriage is not going to survive?
  • Do you feel hopeless, joyless or miserable in your Marriage?
  • Are you a wife – unsure what your role is in your Christian Marriage?
  • Do you struggle to connect as a couple anymore?
  • Do you feel trapped?
  • Have you tried everything and nothing has helped our Marriage?
  • Are you thinking or talking about divorce?

Whatever season of Christian Marriage I find myself in, it seems easy to forget that God’s way and the Culture’s way are different.

Are you Ready for Radical Change in your Marriage?

That was me – just a few years ago. Stuck, Hopeless and Miserable with no idea how to change the course of our Christian Marriage. I had read every book I could find, went to retreats, counseling… and still, our Marriage was failing.

What changed?

  • We hit rock bottom.
  • I got very real with God about my part in the Marriage.
  • I found a Mentor I could trust.
  • We worked through every issue in our marriage with an open Bible!

I found another way to do Marriage – a Radical Way – that changed our direction from divorce-bound to Hope and Joy filled.

You can have Hope and Joy in your Marriage too!

God has a way to do Marriage that brings Hope and Joy!!!!!!!!

In this 9 week Course, we will dig into the Bible and find a way to rebuild our Marriage to last a lifetime!

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  • Extended family is always entangled in drama –  so we have lots of boundaries to stay safe.
    • There has also had to be much Forgiveness.  Can I share a Free Resource with You? 

This is my story of Finding a Pathway to Forgiveness.  It’s yours free!  I had to learn to release people, so I could walk in freedom!

  • Work was close, but they rarely appreciated me.  To reach their standards I would neglect my other priorities.
    • God said no to that when He called me out of the workforce to be a Stay At Home Mom.
  • My little blessings pushed in to take over all of my favorite hobbies – the things that use to bring solace when life was hard
    • Reading is frustrating (Why is it fun to yank a bookmark out of a closed book?)
    • Gardening is no longer quiet and peaceful – though it is now filled with teachable moments.
    • Yoga is aggravating – mommy does not like to be an impromptu jungle gym!
    • Music still helps at times – but I know more VBS songs than adult songs 😉

All of those are good things, but they were not God things – not what God wanted for my safe place.

You get the point I am sure.  Can you relate?  Things change.  I try to adapt, but this season of life has literally swept the feet out from under me.

With each change, I saw that God needed to be my Safe Place

It’s funny how I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back!  God sifts away each thing in my life that I thought would be safe – and I look back up to Him as my everything.  Until the next thing comes around.  You know what I mean?

I didn’t realize that church had become my safe place until this year.

Relationships at church took the place of family years ago.  I love the safety and peacefulness of a worship service, the way I can grow and press into the pastors message.  The predictability of where I sit, when the songs play, how the plate is passed.

My church was a safe place.

No criticism or rejection – it is like home!

And then God began to sift my life again – He said no

Luke 22:31-32 God sifts us to grow our faith. He says No to many good things so we can hear Him better and have the God things!

This year started with more change than I could handle.  Our church is going through a huge transition.

Huge. Transition.

In case you didn’t know, Transition is a $20 word for Change.  Have I mentioned that I don’t like change?  Do you? 

Change is Good

And No, knowing that change is good does not help me embrace it!

Can you imagine ripping that blanket away from your Little Blessing?  Her security blanket gone – no safe place as the chaos of life overwhelms her…

Imagine the fits, the tears, the inconsolable little girl retreating into herself as the hard things come at her without respite.

Now Image that little girl is all grown up… still needing a safe place.  Same fits, same tears, same inconsolable little girl – falling apart as her safe place disappears…

I should have started this piece by mentioning that in March God said No to me.

What on earth do you do when God says No?!?!?!?!?!

God said No to my hiding.  I was hiding.  Hello, My Name is Tiffany and I hide from my past and the pain of years of abuse, neglect and betrayal.  I hide in my:

  • safe places
  • people pleasing
  • controlling
  • performing
  • busyness

God said No More Hiding.  It is time for Healing and Wellness.

But I said No.  Change is hard.  No, this has always worked for me.  Dealing with the past is hard.  I don’t think I can survive the process.

Imagine that…  I said No to God.  I’ve done it many times in the past and should know better by now. 

God is patient Y’all.

God said Step back and do the hard work of healing.

LOL, I still said no.  I can’t step back, people depend on me.

For months God said Step Back.  I would advise obeying God – He has literally sat me down in pain and anxiety as I am forced to step back.  I believe it could have been easier – if I weren’t so stubborn.

Saying No to people is hard (People Pleasers can say no).

Saying No to the Good to Clearly Hear God in My Life PinIt (#SelfCare #WhenGodSaysNo #Discipleship #ChristianLiving)

A lot of “No” these past 2 months.  Until I have peeled away every area of ministry except those I know God has specifically called me to serve.

I spent months praying God would clearly show me where to say yes and where to say no.  He clearly called me to:

  1. Love God 1st– spend time with Him.
  2. Take care of myself – Yes, Self Care is in His calling to us!
  3. Be the best Wife to B that I can be.
  4. Disciple my children.
  5. Lead others in Prayer
  6. Serve in the Worship Ministry
  7. Continue in Marriage Mentoring and Encouragement

Those are the things in my Calling.  (yours will probably be different) Saying No to everything else lets me say yes to the God things.

“No” created space in my life to hear God’s voice.

This 1 word “No” has been the catalyst for healing.  More on that another time!

Do you need to hear God’s voice?  Are you seeking direction in your life?  Maybe you need some No to create space…

Have you set something up as your safe place -that has replaced God – like I had?  We serve a jealous God.  He says we are to have no God but Him… funny how the church can become an idol if I let it.  So can other things… what are your idols?  Let’s take them to God today and begin saying No to the seemingly good things – so we can say Yes to the God things!

in HIM,

Sharing is Caring!

Tiffany Montgomery

Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children.  Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.

2 thoughts to “Saying No to the Good to Clearly Hear God in My Life”

  1. I was sexualy abused as a child and I don’t know how set boundaries with men without feeling that I’ve done something wrong. Keep choosing abusive men. Men who has a history of abuse. The one I’m with now doesn’t call or contact me until late night. I am not at rest with him without feeling rejection. I am 69. He is a healthty 73 years old

    1. I can relate. It’s so hard to learn to set boundaries when you didn’t learn it in a healthy way at an early age… harder still when those who should have helped teach you taught that no boundaries were allowed. Praying over you right now but also I would suggest you seek out a good godly Christian counselor. After years of counseling, I am able to set boundaries now but I needed help. There’s no shame in that 😉 Praying you find the right help in this journey, Mamie.

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