“How can I save my marriage alone?”, Jenn asked as we chatted a few months ago. “How do you know if your marriage is worth saving?”, she added in tears. The truth is marriage is hard and certain seasons of marriage are harder than others but there is hope. There are at least 14 characteristics of a godly wife (which is really just a godly woman) that will save your marriage even if you are fighting alone.
Today we will talk through them and work out a plan of action to incorporate them into your everyday life. Are you ready?
Stay to the end to see a video where I go more in-depth about fasting and prayer!
14 Characteristics of a Godly Wife that will save your Marriage
First, let’s answer a question. What is a godly wife? Maybe you searched for Christian wife and found this, no worries. 😉 To be a godly wife you must be a Christian wife, but honestly, not all Christian wives are godly women. Often Christian is a title we pull out at our convenience rather than a heart change toward true discipleship.
So a Godly wife is a Christian wife that has made a choice to do marriage God’s way, well, really to do life God’s way. A Godly wife is a godly woman, committed to a life following after Jesus which leads to a godly marriage.
#1 Characteristic of a godly woman is that she reads the Bible
Have you ever wondered how to be a godly woman in our busy culture? You are so not alone! I can’t tell you how often I struggle to know if I am really living up to the expectation of Virtuous woman, let alone a virtuous wife or heaven forbid, a Proverbs 31 woman or Proverbs 31 wife! Yikes!
Take a deep breath. A godly woman is not a perfect woman. Thank goodness God never asks for perfection of us. Instead of looking for a perfect woman, God requires women who seek Him with all our heart.
A godly woman is not a perfect woman. Thank goodness God never asks perfection of us. Instead of looking for a perfect woman, God requires women who seek Him with all our heart. Click To Tweet“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
How do you seek God with all your heart to become a godly woman and a godly wife?
Read the Bible. Really work through the scriptures until God speaks to you. Don’t settle for a “verse of the day” from the Bible Verses for Women section of U version, spend some real time with God in His Word until it begins to change you from the inside out. Check out these 10 Simple Ways to Make Time for Your Bible to find help.
#2 Characteristics of a godly wife is her persistence in prayer
Not only does a godly wife read her bible but she prays. She prays until something happens and then prays more just to praise God for moving. Prayer is one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal, sweet Christian wife, to save your marriage.
God is powerful. Prayer puts that power at your disposal. There is more power when you add scripture into your prayer strategy (Maybe use this Proverbs 31 Prayer to help you get started). If you add a time of fasting to prayer you have a Powerhouse that will change your life!
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16
If you are reading your bible, God is convicting you of sin. Confessing sin is one of many disciplines of a godly woman. Stay confessed up, seeking to live in righteousness so that God will hear and answer your prayers.
God is powerful. Prayer puts that power at your disposal. There is more power when you add scripture into your prayer strategy (Maybe use this Proverbs 31 Prayer to help you get started). If you add a time of fasting to prayer you… Click To Tweet#3 Characteristic of a godly wife is her love
Biblical love in marriage is very different from what we see on TV. God teaches us a way to love that is a choice you make as a godly wife every day and changed the whole direction of our marriage. We see a glimpse of it in this 1 Corinthians 13 summary or word study.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag andis not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
#4 Characteristic of a godly wife is forgiveness
Forgiveness is a cornerstone piece of the Christian faith. As a disciple of Christ, we are told, point-blank to forgive others whether they apologize or not (whether they deserve it or not).
“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” Matthew 6:14-15
If we were to define virtue as behaving with a high moral standard, forgiveness would be at the heart of a virtuous woman. A virtuous wife behaves no less morally. Forgive because God said to forgive and let God handle the retribution. That is a high moral standard we will only reach with the help of the Holy Spirit. I know, I know, sometimes things have deteriorated so much that this seems impossible. It may help you to see these 3 Steps to navigating a difficult relationship.
I’d love to share a free e-book with you. In “A Pathway to Forgiveness” I share the 6 steps that helped me walk through forgiving some of the hardest things from my past. Today I live in freedom and so can you!
#5 Characteristic of a Proverbs 31 wife is selflessness
Selflessness is all about knowing what my desires in life are and refusing to allow my preferences to get in the way of reaching them.
“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13
What are your goals in marriage?
I want my husband to stand up and lead our home with wisdom and confidence. My goal in marriage (my prayer for my marriage) is a husband who leads. On the other hand, I prefer to be in control and manage things so they get done my way. When I give in to my preference, it has the potential to destroy all the hard work God’s been doing to raise up my husband as the leader.
Something I find remarkable about the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Woman is that she leads and submits. * Understanding leadership and submission from God’s point of view will go along way in helping you be a selfless wife – a Proverbs 31 Wife.
Understanding leadership and submission from God's point of view will go along way in helping you be a selfless wife – a Proverbs 31 Wife. Click To Tweet#6 Characteristics of a godly wife is godly thinking
The truth is that what we think about is what we talk about. When you begin taking control of your thoughts you begin improving communication as a godly wife!
What is godly thinking? It’s more than just positive thinking, it’s thinking about things in a way that honors God the way Paul described in Philippians 4:8-9.
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8
Need help learning how to think like Philippians 4:8, check out this word study to get you started.
#7 Characteristic of a godly wife is using words of affirmation, appreciation, and admiration
Many times Christian wives feel they are fighting for their marriage alone when the lines of Communication are down.
If that sounds like you, godly wife, I would suggest a 30-day Words of Affirmation Challenge to help you decrease Marital strife. For 30-days you commit to no negative words. No nagging, suggesting, hinting, correcting, clarifying, talking over, giving your perspective, helping him see things the right way – zero negative words. Instead, speak 2 to 3 words of appreciation and admiration to him each day and watch the lines of communication begin to open!
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
#8 Characteristic of a Biblical wife is leadership
God says the husband is to lead the home but that does not mean the wife is less than, unimportant or subordinate. A godly wife can be a godly leader!
Yes, you read that correctly. A Biblical wife is a leader. It takes much more leadership to step back and let your husband lead the home than many people realize. Leading the home does not make your husband the head honcho in charge of everything nor does it make you a door mat for him to walk all over. A strong woman can lead in her strengths, allowing her husband to lead from his strengths. Both can lead in harmony while supporting each other. The key is supporting each other rather than attacking each other.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:3
Much in the same way, Jesus was a leader while God was the head a wife can lead while the husband is the head.
#9 Characteristics of a virtuous woman is understanding men
If you are laughing out loud right now join the club but know that understanding men is not impossible. Men and women understand life completely differently. When you, as a godly wife, take the time to learn how men understand things you take a huge step in saving your marriage!
When you, as a godly wife, take the time to learn how men understand things you take a huge step in saving your marriage! This is a characteristic of a godly wife! Click To Tweet“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
#10 Characteristic of a Christian wife is respect
Godly wife, Respect your husband. It is a command God gives wives without a loophole. The Bible doesn’t say respect your husband if he is respectable or respect your husband if he has earned your respect.
“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
Christian wife, respect your husband. Period. If you read the entire book of Ephesians you see that we are actually supposed to respect everyone but where women and men are concerned the trouble goes back to understanding men. Men understand respect differently. The key is to understand what your husband sees as respectful and disrespectful and work from there.
#11 Characteristic of a godly wife is biblical priorities
Setting Biblical priorities for a busy life requires intentionally. We have to fight the current of the culture to keep our priorities straight. Can you relate?
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:36-38
No matter how much I want to love God first, prioritize my marriage second and raise godly kids after that, they get all mixed up. You need a reset button every few months to check in with God and fix your priorities. No guilt allowed godly wife. Just check in with God and fix what got out of line. 😉
#12 Qualities of a virtuous woman is Community
The world around us does marriage one way, focusing on emotional love and unrealistic expectations. God’s way to do marriage is counter-cultural If your desire is to live out these characteristics of a Godly wife and save your marriage, you must surround yourself with a like-minded community of women!
“Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
I would like to personally invite you to our Private Facebook Group – Christian wives Choosing Hope and Joy in Every Season.
#13 Characteristic of a Biblical wife is Perseverance or Patience
A Biblical wife is characterized by perseverance. Will you stand for and fight for your marriage no matter what comes? For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part?
“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” Galatians 6:9
There are seasons where marriage is hard and in those hard seasons, you need perseverance, Sweet Godly Wife!
#14 Characteristic of a godly wife is Hope and Joy
Take heart, not all seasons of marriage are hard. If you continue to seek God, pray, and develop a godly character you can know what hope and joy are.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
He is a God of Hope and He is yours, holding you, fighting for you, and working all things together for your good. Hold onto that Hope.
He is a God of Joy in fact, the Joy of the Lord lives in your very heart. You can choose joy no matter how hard the season is because You are God’s child.
Choose hope and joy in Christ, sweet Christian wife, and you will save your marriage.
Developing these 14 Characteristics of a Godly Wife will Grow your faith and Marriage
In conclusion, I would like to clearly say that none of these 14 characters of a godly wife will ensure a perfect marriage. You are both flawed human beings. Anytime two sinners live under the same roof there are bound to be disagreements, clashes, and bruised egos. No, this is not a magic formula for a marriage without problems.
What will happen as you develop these godly character traits is that you will grow in faith. You will know God better than you ever have and that will create an inner peace that will fix so many problems in your life. When your husband observes your new inner peace, sees the hope in your eyes, and feels the joy from your soul he will be drawn to you and God in a fresh way. New life will come into your marriage.
These are the things God used to save my marriage many years ago and I have seen them work miracles in many wives through mentoring since then.
God has good things in store for you and a plan for your marriage. Trust Him today. Press into Him today as you fight for your marriage.
in HIM,
Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children. Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.
If you enjoyed this you may also like these posts:
Yes! The same should apply to the husband as well.
Absolutely agree with you Crystal! Praying over you today.
I get that words of affirmation and praise and love are wonderful ways to open up communication, and I’m all for that. But no negative words for a month seems not only unrealistic but misguided. We women are so often taught that we need to be nice to be loved, which can mean we don’t stick up for ourselves, call out wrongs or make our needs known. That doesn’t sound like the foundation for a strong marriage to me.
I agree that we could not go with never speaking our minds. My challenge is more about noticing if there is a habit of a critical nature (it was for me) and by replacing the negative words in the moment you retrain yourself to be more affirming. When the emotion of the situation dies down I absolutely circle back to speak what needs to be spoken. Sticking up for your self and speaking the truth is so important. But for me – most of my critical words were habit and not helpful.
Hope you have a blessed day Catherine!
What a great response as I relate to more of what you were actually speaking of. As I look back on the words I speak to my husband, the nagging and negativity was more of a habit and if I could turn that around into words of affirmation, the difference that would make. I don’t think that no negative words for a month is that unrealistic. However, each marriage is different. I think instead of focusing so much on not being able to be negative in those 30 days, instead chose to think differently, how can I be more positive? Especially if speaking your mind becomes a negative part of conversation. You can still tell your feelings without being negative and you can still stick up for yourself without it becoming confrontational or negative. I think what she is referring to is very realistic and I found this to be a great read that has helped me with my ways to be more Godly wife.
Great points Amy. I’m excited to see how this goes for you!
I am trying to think of which of the 14 characteristics of a godly wife I like the best and it is impossible. Each one is worthy of our efforts and you did a wonderful job explaining them. My heart was pricked a couple of times because of human nature and how many of these characteristics I have learned the hard way (and with some regrets). I know I will come back to this post many times!
Yes I agree so much of this for me too was learned the hard way. LOL… I am still learning! praying over you today Heather!
I just wanna tell you I’m a 17 year old boy(young men)😋 and I wanted to read this not to be like if a girl doesn’t meet these standards she’s not worth it because lord knows I mess up all the time. Recently I’ve been falling deeper into god like never before. I’m also starting to wanna to find love while on top of that following the lords calling on my life and I find my self having a hard time choosing between the two. In other words if I’m in a crowd of people and I’m doing anything I’m living all for the lord and trying to be a good example and to lift people up but when a girl my age is there I’m like a metal to a magnet and I’m still being a Christian but there’s times I know that God is telling me Austin this isn’t a good match or this isn’t your wife but I just don’t wanna walk away. I realized that’s normal for a teenage boy but I truly want to rely on the lord because I want to do his will for my life but not have to worry about the whole dating and knowing she’s not the right one but just having her for the fun of it. Soooo in conclusion all I’m trying to say is thank you because this really helped me know that a women is out there and she will not be perfect but to me God will make her perfect for me. I want to be the best husband I can be and so I don’t wanna not choose God when it comes to any situation and so I have good faith I can trust him. Thank you again for being such a light to people Tiffany
-Love Austin
I will stand with you in prayer, Austin, that God will lead you to the right person at the right time. In the meantime, keep leaning into HIM and trusting His will for your life.
This is such a beautiful post! I’m going to share it on my social media platforms.
So glad it blessed you Shayla. Praying for you and your ministry today.
I am so happy I found this post! I was struggling in all these areas and needed a guide to help me get back on track. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to bless our hearts with this post. I am going to use everyone and will be sharing this page with others. God bless you!
So glad it blessed you, Mrs. H.
You’ve done a Wonderful job Tiffany on describing each of the 14 Characteristics of a godly wife and I’m more than certain we can all learn and grow in any of these areas. I’m going to share in my social platforms as well
Thanks Angie. They are all things I am learning as I go. Praying for you tonight.
Lovely article, lots of passion. Marriages definitely take hard work and dedication.
That is so true Danielle. Praying you have a blessed day!
Tiffany, your 14 characteristics of a Godly wife were right on, in my mind. I appreciate as the you taking things Gods way, in spite of a sinful world that has so many of the opposite opinions when it comes to marriage. It’s really so sad to watch those who struggle without God in their lives. Thank you for leading women who struggle, the Godly way.
You are right about that Wendy, even within the church many women do marriage the cultures way. My prayer is to encourage women to pursue God and God’s way to do life… including in their marriage and see the amazing changes!
These are good characteristics for both parties in the marriage!
That is so true Leigh
Wow, Tiffany! So many good things here but I want to talk about one in particular. Words of Affirmation is such an important characteristic of a Godly wife and we don’t realize the impact that our words have on our husbands, much the same as their words have on us. The Bible says that life and death is in the tongue so it would be naive to think that our negative comments to our husbands wouldn’t do any long-term damage.
Even the comments about not loading the dishwasher the “correct way” and therefore I feel the need to “teach” him the right way in a condescending way. True story. I may have said too much. Ha!
Anywhoo… It is so important to pick the battles and let go of the controlling negative Nancy comments (no disrespect to Nancy…LOL!) and be able to speak our truths, our needs, and struggles from a place of love and desire to overcome an obstacle rather than the in-the-moment emotional tear down that usually comes from a negative attack.
I know this one firsthand too. It’s still a struggle from time to time. When do I bite my tongue and when do I speak up? That takes me back to seeking God for my marriage. I can’t change my husband but I can change me and how I choose to respond. You just listed a lot of ways that I can work on growing myself for the benefit of my marriage.
Love it!
You have it so right Christi and I can relate to learning it in the trenches. Every day I learn more of what Not to Do 😉 But that’s life right? We learn and grow and tomorrow we will be better wives than we are today! Shining God’s love and light to all the world as they watch our marriage look different from the cultures!
Praying over you and your Ministry tonight!
Thanks for sharing this, I am not Christian but its so neat to learn!
Thanks for dropping by Bella. Praying over you and your business today.
Such a wondeewon reminder for relationships .. thanks for sharing .
It is a joy Aditi. Praying over you today, your family and your business.
I love that you added in verses with your post. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
The verses keep me focused on doing Marriage God’s way… without them I would quickly revert back and really struggle in my Marriage for sure.
i think overall a successful marriage has to do with both partners having good communication and respect for each other.
That is absolutely true. Both have to be working on the marriage and respect each other and communication is key!
I know this is a women’s group and you probably moderate out the men replies. But you should consider you are talking marriage and marriage is not onesided and neither should your comments.
I have read two of your articles and then shared them with My wife.
Hope it hits home.
I didn’t want a divorce but if continues on her onslaught i am not going to be separated for five years.
I am done being tortured for trying to be a servant.
If theres no appreciation how do you know you are doing it correctly. Maybe our marriage fails because i am not being good enough.
But name one husband here that puts a glove on and pulls a constipated plug out for their wife at her request. When she started to bleed i demanded we go to ER. She insisted i was weak and squeamish.
On the ER bed they used forceps and lots of stool softener liquid she exploded all over the nurse five days without bowel movement due to all the hydrocodone.
I have saved my wife from death twice during our short marriage. I have been by her hospital bed more than anyone in her family. Spent many lonely nights in bed while she spent our quality time with men and women.
Maybe not sexually but its still cheating. Although i suspect her i try to give her the benefit of the doubt.
But when the accusations fly at me i let it go. That is my sin. She has five email addresses and four social media accounts all of which i have no access.
But i have no social media and one email address that even the grandkids have my passwords.
Her fingerprint is still on my phone. But i cannot open her phone without her permission.
And i am the cheater, whoremonger and narcissist?
Love is an action.
I believe my actions towards her outweigh my temptations and screw ups however slight.
I wish she’d pull the log out of her eye before trying to remove my toothpick.
And verbal abuse and the abuse of neglecting your husband is worse than any physical abuse.
Mental scars last forever
I’m so sorry things are going this way. Praying over you right now.
Marriage it both joyful and hard work, loving and a challenge, but also fun and worth it. I agree, seeking and following God/Jesus is important in all aspects of marriage. Great advice here!
Yes I love that, Joyful and hard work. So true Julie and thank for stopping by. Praying over you this morning.
Love that you said – A Godly woman is not a perfect woman. That’s one of those simple little statements we read and say, oh yeah, I know that. Then, when we fall short in some way, we forget and begin shaming ourselves. This is such a wonderful encouragement to all of us and a great reminder of what is really important in life.
YOU are so on point Fleda! Praying over you today and your ministry.
So many wise statements in this post, but the prayer parts really stand out for me. I also love all the extra downloads you offered.
Beyond a doubt prayer has changed everything in my marriage. Praying over you AnnMarie!
What an awesome post! I am going to bookmark it so I can return to read it again and again! I love all the practical points and the love you displayed taking the time to help a godly wife map out her strategy to bring life into her home. ❤
So glad it was helpful Donna!
You’ve done a wonderful job describing the characteristics of a Godly wife and backing it up with scripture! So much wisdom to be found here.
It really is only from scripture that we can know how to be godly. I’m so glad it encouraged you.
Thank you for this encouraging post. It came at a time when I really needed to hear this. I hope you will continue in you journey writing for the Lord and encouraging Godly women.
Thanks, Denise. Praying over you today as you also reach women with God’s truth.
This is such a great reminder to not just strive to be a good wife, but to be a godly wife. So good 💗
So glad it encouraged you, Erin. Praying over you, your family and your ministry this morning.
Great post! I feel like you could make a whole post out of each of these 14 characteristics of a Godly wife! None of them are easy, but then, following God isn’t often easy. It is worth the effort though, every single time!
That is so true, following God isn’t often easy but the reward is amazing. Praying for you, your family and ministry, Cherith!
Thank you for this post! It is a true blessing! I am excited to see how God will save my marriage since I had already given up on my husband. I realize how I need to change in order for God to transform my marriage. I added this article to my favorites since I will be referring back to it! God bless you and your inspiring ministry. 💕
I am standing with you in prayer over your marriage today, Melinda.
Not to offend anyone, but I find it weird and defensive that some women read this post and their response was “This should also go for men too”. Yes, we know that men need to also have Godly characteristics in their marriage, but this particular post addresses women. And you can only take the life from it if you meekly learn from these words, with a contrite heart.
If you read it with a heart of “men should also learn this”, it means you still see marriage as a rivalry between a man and a woman. Rather than a program that God has instituted to save both man and woman, individually, to the uttermost. This is why, even though the union is for a purpose, you still need to make sure the will of God is done individually. So, don’t cheat yourself of this life you’d get from any teaching or preaching that tells you how to be a Godly wife. Digest it like your life depends on it. It is for your own good, and that of your marriage.
Finally, well done Tifanny. I’m not married, but I’ve learnt life from your post.
Such a great point, Fey. Praying over you today for God’s face to shine upon you with peace.