“How can I save my marriage alone?”, Jenn asked as we chatted a few months ago. “How do you know if your marriage is worth saving?”, she added in tears. The truth is marriage is hard and certain seasons of marriage are harder than others but there is hope. There are at least 14 characteristics of a godly wife (which is really just a godly woman) that will save your marriage even if you are fighting alone.
Today we will talk through them and work out a plan of action to incorporate them into your everyday life. Are you ready?
Stay to the end for a video going more in-depth into this topic!
14 Characteristics of a Godly Wife that will save your Marriage
First, let’s answer a question. What is a godly wife? Maybe you searched for Christian wife and found this, no worries. 😉 To be a godly wife you must be a Christian wife, but honestly, not all Christian wives are godly women. Often Christian is a title we pull out at our convenience rather than a heart change toward true discipleship.
So a Godly wife is a Christian wife that has made a choice to do marriage God’s way, well, really to do life God’s way. A Godly wife is a godly woman, committed to a life following after Jesus which leads to a godly marriage.
#1 Characteristic of a godly woman is that she reads the Bible
Have you ever wondered how to be a godly woman in our busy culture? You are so not alone! I can’t tell you how often I struggle to know if I am really living up to the expectation of Virtuous woman, let alone a virtuous wife or heaven forbid, a Proverbs 31 woman or Proverbs 31 wife! Yikes!
Take a deep breath. A godly woman is not a perfect woman. Thank goodness God never asks for perfection of us. Instead of looking for a perfect woman, God requires women who seek Him with all our heart.
A godly woman is not a perfect woman. Thank goodness God never asks perfection of us. Instead of looking for a perfect woman, God requires women who seek Him with all our heart. Click To Tweet
“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
How do you seek God with all your heart to become a godly woman and a godly wife?
Read the Bible. Really work through the scriptures until God speaks to you. Don’t settle for a “verse of the day” from the Bible Verses for Women section of U version, spend some real time with God in His Word until it begins to change you from the inside out. Check out these 10 Simple Ways to Make Time for Your Bible to find help.
#2 Characteristics of a godly wife is her persistence in prayer
Not only does a godly wife read her bible but she prays. She prays until something happens and then prays more just to praise God for moving. Prayer is one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal, sweet Christian wife, to save your marriage.
God is powerful. Prayer puts that power at your disposal. There is more power when you add scripture into your prayer strategy (Maybe use this Proverbs 31 Prayer to help you get started). If you add a time of fasting to prayer you have a Powerhouse that will change your life!
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16
If you are reading your bible, God is convicting you of sin. Confessing sin is one of many disciplines of a godly woman. Stay confessed up, seeking to live in righteousness so that God will hear and answer your prayers.God is powerful. Prayer puts that power at your disposal. There is more power when you add scripture into your prayer strategy (Maybe use this Proverbs 31 Prayer to help you get started). If you add a time of fasting to prayer you… Click To Tweet
#3 Characteristic of a godly wife is her love
Biblical love in marriage is very different from what we see on TV. God teaches us a way to love that is a choice you make as a godly wife every day and changed the whole direction of our marriage. We see a glimpse of it in this 1 Corinthians 13 summary or word study.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag andis not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
#4 Characteristic of a godly wife is forgiveness
Forgiveness is a cornerstone piece of the Christian faith. As a disciple of Christ, we are told, point-blank to forgive others whether they apologize or not (whether they deserve it or not).
“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” Matthew 6:14-15
If we were to define virtue as behaving with a high moral standard, forgiveness would be at the heart of a virtuous woman. A virtuous wife behaves no less morally. Forgive because God said to forgive and let God handle the retribution. That is a high moral standard we will only reach with the help of the Holy Spirit. I know, I know, sometimes things have deteriorated so much that this seems impossible. It may help you to see these 3 Steps to navigating a difficult relationship.
I’d love to share a free e-book with you. In “A Pathway to Forgiveness” I share the 6 steps that helped me walk through forgiving some of the hardest things from my past. Today I live in freedom and so can you!
#5 Characteristic of a Proverbs 31 wife is selflessness
Selflessness is all about knowing what my desires in life are and refusing to allow my preferences to get in the way of reaching them.
“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13
What are your goals in marriage?
I want my husband to stand up and lead our home with wisdom and confidence. My goal in marriage (my prayer for my marriage) is a husband who leads. On the other hand, I prefer to be in control and manage things so they get done my way. When I give in to my preference, it has the potential to destroy all the hard work God’s been doing to raise up my husband as the leader.
Something I find remarkable about the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Woman is that she leads and submits. * Understanding leadership and submission from God’s point of view will go along way in helping you be a selfless wife – a Proverbs 31 Wife.Understanding leadership and submission from God's point of view will go along way in helping you be a selfless wife – a Proverbs 31 Wife. Click To Tweet
#6 Characteristics of a godly wife is godly thinking
The truth is that what we think about is what we talk about. When you begin taking control of your thoughts you begin improving communication as a godly wife!
What is godly thinking? It’s more than just positive thinking, it’s thinking about things in a way that honors God the way Paul described in Philippians 4:8-9.
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8
Need help learning how to think like Philippians 4:8, check out this word study to get you started.
#7 Characteristic of a godly wife is using words of affirmation, appreciation, and admiration
Many times Christian wives feel they are fighting for their marriage alone when the lines of Communication are down.
If that sounds like you, godly wife, I would suggest a 30-day Words of Affirmation Challenge to help you decrease Marital strife. For 30-days you commit to no negative words. No nagging, suggesting, hinting, correcting, clarifying, talking over, giving your perspective, helping him see things the right way – zero negative words. Instead, speak 2 to 3 words of appreciation and admiration to him each day and watch the lines of communication begin to open!
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
#8 Characteristic of a Biblical wife is leadership
God says the husband is to lead the home but that does not mean the wife is less than, unimportant or subordinate. A godly wife can be a godly leader!
Yes, you read that correctly. A Biblical wife is a leader. It takes much more leadership to step back and let your husband lead the home than many people realize. Leading the home does not make your husband the head honcho in charge of everything nor does it make you a door mat for him to walk all over. A strong woman can lead in her strengths, allowing her husband to lead from his strengths. Both can lead in harmony while supporting each other. The key is supporting each other rather than attacking each other.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:3
Much in the same way, Jesus was a leader while God was the head a wife can lead while the husband is the head.
#9 Characteristics of a virtuous woman is understanding men
If you are laughing out loud right now join the club but know that understanding men is not impossible. Men and women understand life completely differently. When you, as a godly wife, take the time to learn how men understand things you take a huge step in saving your marriage!
When you, as a godly wife, take the time to learn how men understand things you take a huge step in saving your marriage! This is a characteristic of a godly wife! Click To Tweet
#10 Characteristic of a Christian wife is respect
Godly wife, Respect your husband. It is a command God gives wives without a loophole. The Bible doesn’t say respect your husband if he is respectable or respect your husband if he has earned your respect.
“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
Christian wife, respect your husband. Period. If you read the entire book of Ephesians you see that we are actually supposed to respect everyone but where women and men are concerned the trouble goes back to understanding men. Men understand respect differently. The key is to understand what your husband sees as respectful and disrespectful and work from there.
#11 Characteristic of a godly wife is biblical priorities
Setting Biblical priorities for a busy life requires intentionally. We have to fight the current of the culture to keep our priorities straight. Can you relate?
No matter how much I want to love God first, prioritize my marriage second and raise godly kids after that, they get all mixed up. You need a reset button every few months to check in with God and fix your priorities. No guilt allowed godly wife. Just check in with God and fix what got out of line. 😉
#12 Qualities of a virtuous woman is Community
The world around us does marriage one way, focusing on emotional love and unrealistic expectations. God’s way to do marriage is counter-cultural If your desire is to live out these characteristics of a Godly wife and save your marriage, you must surround yourself with a like-minded community of women!
I would like to personally invite you to our Private Facebook Group – Christian wives Choosing Hope and Joy in Every Season.
#13 Characteristic of a Biblical wife is Perseverance or Patience
A Biblical wife is characterized by perseverance. Will you stand for and fight for your marriage no matter what comes? For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part?
“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” Galatians 6:9
There are seasons where marriage is hard and in those hard seasons, you need perseverance, Sweet Godly Wife!
#14 Characteristic of a godly wife is Hope and Joy
Take heart, not all seasons of marriage are hard. If you continue to seek God, pray, and develop a godly character you can know what hope and joy are.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
He is a God of Hope and He is yours, holding you, fighting for you, and working all things together for your good. Hold onto that Hope.
He is a God of Joy in fact, the Joy of the Lord lives in your very heart. You can choose joy no matter how hard the season is because You are God’s child.
Choose hope and joy in Christ, sweet Christian wife, and you will save your marriage.
Developing these 14 Characteristics of a Godly Wife will Grow your faith and Marriage
In conclusion, I would like to clearly say that none of these 14 characters of a godly wife will ensure a perfect marriage. You are both flawed human beings. Anytime two sinners live under the same roof there are bound to be disagreements, clashes, and bruised egos. No, this is not a magic formula for a marriage without problems.
What will happen as you develop these godly character traits is that you will grow in faith. You will know God better than you ever have and that will create an inner peace that will fix so many problems in your life. When your husband observes your new inner peace, sees the hope in your eyes, and feels the joy from your soul he will be drawn to you and God in a fresh way. New life will come into your marriage.
These are the things God used to save my marriage many years ago and I have seen them work miracles in many wives through mentoring since then.
God has good things in store for you and a plan for your marriage. Trust Him today. Press into Him today as you fight for your marriage.
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