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Words of Affirmation for Him: The Best Gift for My Husband

Can a marriage be too broken for The 5 Love Languages words of affirmation to work?  I know it’s not what everyone talks about, but Y’all, they just had no effect on us when I first started trying to find the answers to save my marriage.  Our Marriage was broken.  What we needed -my husband and I – more than anything else was for something to fix my marriage.

When you think of Needs in Marriage, his needs her needs, you don’t think about words.  But let’s put them together today.

  • A Need for him – Husband Words – Husbands need words.  What are the best words for hubby?
  • Words of affirmation husband – Husbands need Words of Affirmation.  Putting these things together helped me so much to be a more godly wife!

What are Words of Affirmation?

If you Google Words of affirmation definition (or what does affirmation mean) you will see it is expressing affection through spoken praise or appreciation.  Read more on that here.

But the question I faced as How to express love in words to your husband when you have marriage problems.  I just didn’t know what to say to him or how to say it.

Have you ever searched out Things to say to your husband to make him smile, read the results and laughed because you couldn’t imagine ever saying those things?  That’s where we were.

Why Can’t the Love Language words of affirmation work when there are Marriage Problems?

Imagine our Christian Marriage is like a car…  maybe a deep purple VW Bug – with cute seat covers and a steering wheel all decked out in girly stickers…  Do you have it pictured?

In a Healthy Marriage, the car would take us through life with ease!  As a team we can conquer anything… or so I thought.

The 5 Love Languages are like gas.  They give the car energy to make it where we are going – to end with a successful Marriage.

Our Car was broken just like our Christian Marriage…  let’s say the cause of death was rusted spark plugs.  It doesn’t matter how much gas you put in that car – it’s not moving until you replace the spark plugs or clean them – or whatever you do to spark plugs 😉

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A Husband and Wife have deeper needs that must be met before a relationship can move forward from broken to a successful Marriage.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs says Men Need Respect while women need love in his book Love and Respect

I disagree about the love bit – I believe women need security before love matters -at least I do.

Men need Respect before they need love

If my husband doesn’t feel respected – no amount of love will speak to him.  In fact, he will shut down and stop any attempts at showing me love or providing me with security.

If I were to rewrite the dictionary I would add to Respect that Words of affirmation define the way a wife really sees her husband.

The first Christian Marriage Retreat hubby and I went to introduced us The Five Love Languages.  We took a test to find out what our Love Language was…  Have you taken the test?

The retreat gave us some tools to try out in the Broken Marriage that left us hopeless.

You see, we were Broken too deeply for a little gas to start our car again.  We needed real help to save a marriage. Ten years later we are finally in a healthy healing place - a place where we both feel Respect and Security enough to speak love to each other. Click To Tweet

Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?   We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!

We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our role as godly wives.

Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book.  We also have a Private Facebook group to let us connect – Wives only.

How did we fix our Christian Marriage?

For the past several years God has been completely overhauling my understanding of Marriage – specifically my role as a wife in this Christian Marriage.

When I hit rock bottom I finally surrendered it all to Him.  Haha, it always goes that way, doesn’t it.  Why do we have to hit rock bottom before we give God the steering wheel (stickered or otherwise)!?!?!?!

I learned the Power of Words of Affirmation

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

What are words of affirmation?

Words of affirmation for him are not a Love language, but they were a tool God taught me to use to show Respect to hubby.  Seriously, there are so many verses about the Power of our Words.  They really convinced me to change!

Words of Affirmation are Words of Respect to Husband! Click To Tweet

Why are Words of Affirmation Important?

When that particular lesson began I did not Respect him one bit.  Honestly, I love my husband but I did not respect him..  I couldn’t think of a single thing he did well or that I couldn’t do better.  I certainly didn’t think ‘my best gift is my husband’ or that ‘my husband is the best gift from God’ as many urged me.

My husband had messed up so much and just refused to try so often – that I struggled to find the first thing to admire in him.  But God says wives are to Respect their husbands.  And Words for my husband are a way to show Respect.

How Can I show my husband Affirmation when I don’t respect him?

  • Think back to find words of affirmation for my husband

    • Think way back to when we started dating.  There were things that drew me to this man.
    • He was honest, funny, athletic, a hard worker, etc.  I began telling him those things.  Those were the best words for husband motivation I could find and they lit a spark.
  • Begin praying for eyes to see my husband the way God sees him asking for words of affirmation to speak.

    • I began to see all kinds of good things about this man.. which was hard to believe because I had convinced myself he was 100% bad, worthless and unnecessary for my life.  (Sorry if that’s a little too honest… but it was the place I was living.)
      • As I spoke each affirmation for my husband he rose to the respect in an amazing way.
  • Dream of the things I wished I saw in him also helped me stop seeing words of affirmation hurt in the long run.

    • I started praying for those things – and Y’all, God has faithfully been answering.
    • I wanted him to fix the things in the house, the cars, be an active father, lead us spiritually, have good godly guy friends, take the financial burden from me, etc.
    • Words of affirmation for my husband have been words of life that saved my marriage.

One of my favorite husband quotes or love quotes for a husband is below and it really helped change my perspective from nagging to encouraging.

“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Words of Affirmation for husband (admiration and appreciation words for husband) and prayer are two of the biggest things that fixed our broken Marriage. Because words of affirmation to a man speak respect! Click To Tweet

30 Affirmation Words for Husband and How To Use Them

Creative Ways to learn how to express love in words to your husband

Below is a list of affirmations or affirmation examples from my own Marriage that I hope inspires you to join the Marriage Challenge today.    He says they are my own love msg for husband – leave it to a man 😉

I write these encouraging messages for my husband on note cards and slip them in the car so he finds them on the way to work.

1. I admire the way you work.
2. I feel secure when you work so hard.
3. It is so sexy when you come home from work all sweaty (exhausted).
4. Thank you for providing for us.
5. If I could go back and change everything, I would still pick you.
6. I love you more today than when we married.
7. You are the most amazing father.
8. I love watching you love your children.
9. You are a great role model for our children.
10. Thank you for fixing the….

These are also sweet things to say to your husband in text messages

11. I appreciate you taking care of the ……
12. You really turn me on when you handle the….
13. I admire your consistency.
14. When you fixed that I couldn’t look away from your muscular…
15. I feel safe when you are with me.
16. Thank you for being honest about …
17. I love to look at you.
18. When you lead our home, I feel cherished.
19. You can do anything you set your mind to.  You proved it when…
20. I admire you for finishing…

Sometimes I will write these words to my husband on a note with kiss stamps and tuck it in his pajama drawer.  Talk about lighting a fire 😉

21. It makes me smile when you take care of…
22. I believe in you because…
23. God made you perfectly to fit with me.
24. I love how our differences work together, like when…
25. I’ve been thinking about you all day and I can’t wait to…
26. I respected you when you did…
27. I love our life together because you…
28. I noticed you’ve grown in the area of…
29. I trust you and will support you in…
30. You are a respectable man because…

Will you join me in a 30 Day Words of Affirmation Marriage Challenge?

Marriage Challenge 30 Way's to Appreciate your Husband PinIt 2 ( #ChristianMarriage, #BiblicalWifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

Join below and get this printable Set of Words of Affirmation direct to your email!


After a Month of filling your Husbands respect tank, you may want a vacation. Check out these romantic Getaways in the USA or, if you are stuck in an endless winter check out these romantic holiday or honeymoon destinations in November from Honeymoon Backpackers.

Are you looking for Words of Affirmation gift ideas for him?

Words of Affirmation Gift Ideas – the best Gift for Your Husband!

Love Notes to Appreciate your Husband - words of appreciation cards printable pack Our words have the power to bring life or death in a Christian Marriage. It can be hard to find the right words to encourage our Husband. It's easy to point our the negative, but sometimes we need a little help finding the words to build him up.

Check out these Printable Words of Affirmation Cards in the HopeJoyInChrist Shop.

There are 52 Printable cards that are affirmations to speak over your husband.  You can print them out, commit to pray over them and give one per week to your husband for the next year.   Words of affirmation gifts for him will build him up and create momentum for real change in his life!

Words of Encouragement for men tend to be related to their masculinity, their work or their character. Why not build him up and watch God use those words of life to create momentum in your Marriage? Click To Tweet

These are 52 phrases that build my own husband up.  I go back to them every year to reprint and share – it never gets old.  The Best word for husband in my marriage is about his body.  I wonder what your husband finds most encouraging?


in HIM,


If you enjoyed this you would also like these Posts:

*words of affirmation for him

Do men like words of affirmation?

How do I talk to my husband words of affirmation? 

How do I encourage my man?

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Sharing is Caring!

Tiffany Montgomery

Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children.  Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.

35 thoughts to “Words of Affirmation for Him: The Best Gift for My Husband”

  1. Tiffany, lots of wisdom here and thank you for sharing your story and how God changed things in your marriage. God is so good to help us change our perspective and negative thinking oatterbs and it makes all the difference in the world!

  2. Love this post!! Our men need to know how much we value them. And the more we say it, the more we will realize what they do for us. It’s a win-win.

  3. I am so glad you posted all these positive affirmations for wives to say to their husbands. Having been married a long time (43 years), we have been through most of the ups and downs husbands and wives go through as they go through life. One of the best things I ever started doing was letting my husband know how much I love him, and how proud I was of him. I think husbands (for the most part) do rise to the affirmations given by their wives! God bless you and your work!

  4. This was a great reminder for me – thank you for sharing (I just made sure to tell my hubs how grateful I am that he made dinner AND cleaned up)!

  5. I agree with you – respect is so important to my husband. Words of affirmation are definitely something I need to be doing every day. He really likes that I build him up as a good provider. That is important to him.

  6. This is such an interesting perspective. The Emerson quote is particularly powerful. It can be so easy to lose sight of the good when the monotony of everyday settles in. I love the idea of having a reset and working on reconnecting with what initially “sparked” the relationship.

  7. It’s interesting that I found this post today. I was just telling a friend how we, as women, expect our husband’s to tell us nice things all the time but I realized that I don’t tell my husband enough how much I appreciate him and all that he does for our family.

  8. Am happy all of this has worked in your marriage and I pray it works in all of our marriages that are going through rough ends. I met my husband when I was 17years in my first year in the university and we dated consistently till we graduated got jobs and got married and 36years old. When I met him he could hardly afford to feed twice a day, my parents where civil servants so they could afford to take care of my basics so I didn’t depend on him for even a snack. Throughout our stay in the university he couldn’t afford to take me out for a meal yet I never complained. Fast forward to our marriage, when he is down financially I support him and cover him up even to our son, sometimes I will buy stuff for my son and tell him to tell his daddy thank you for getting them for him. I have a more secured job as a social worker in a government hospital while he is a development worker and their jobs are not stable. The contracts vary from two to five years and you are out of a job but when he gets a job he earns almost ten times what I earn, and that is where the trouble starts, he starts womanising, being mean and disrespectful to me. He was out of a job for almost two years, I did all I could to put the family together and he just recently got a new job and is yet to get his first paycheck, yet I just found out he is looking for an apartment to pay for his mistress, I confronted him and I could sense the uneasiness in his response, he didn’t outrightly deny it and couldn’t give me a straight forward response and unlike him and didn’t even flay up. Though since then he has been trying to stay home more but the pain in my heart is so intense, the betrayal has hurt so deep and struggling to pull myself out of this one. Am really struggling to initiate normal conversation, daily I ask God for the grace to forgive because I can’t do it on my own. I don’t even want to pretend am not hurt, I don’t want to act normal, am asking God for a gradual healing. I have read the book about Love and Respect, and I keep reading every material on godly marriage, I also try to domesticate it to my marriage but the devil keeps coming back, I have not stopped praying for my husband because I know my Lord will visit him, I just need your prayers to pull out of this one. Am also waiting on the Lord for a second child so everything is just so much for me right now. Please if you read this help me pray for my husband. God bless you

    1. Kristy, my heart breaks over your situation. I will stand with you in prayer for healing and forgiveness but I also want to ask if he is being unfaithful. If he is, forgiving him and trying to restore your marriage will not work long term (forgiveness is wonderful but restoration can only happen after both are working to rebuild trust)… that is real hurt from real betrayal you are feeling. You can’t pray it away if it is continuing with no remorse or change in him. The hurt you feel is your body, heart, and souls way of pushing you to get help. A godly counselor would be the first step. Someone who is not associated with either of you to listen to you… Even if he won’t go to counseling with you – you go and get some good wise advice. Reach out anytime to talk or pray together – tiffanymontgomery at hopejoyinchrist dot com

    1. Covering you in prayer today, Renae. And I can so relate. Often I struggle to be able to give him the words He needs… Just know you are not alone. My prayer is that as you lean into God through this hard season He will comfort you and meet your needs so you can get to that place.

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