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How to Stop Controlling My Husband in a Christian Marriage

The noise level in the house -as I walked in from running an errand – was like defcon 1.  War was raging in the kids room. My husband was upset – yelling empty threats at the wall.

I jumped right in -asking for details, criticizing his lofty expectations of our little blessings.  Things escalated quickly and my mouth added fuel to the war.

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Control is a very real need in my soul – you could even call me a control freak with pride issues.

Of course I begin to tell my husband how he should deal with the kids. When he didn’t do it my way, I proceeded to walk into the next room and lay down the law, tearing them and their daddy down in the process.

At this point, our little blessings kids were devastated.
My husband felt like a failure.
Every relationship in the house was suffering.

This situation was not uncommon in our home in the past until our Bible Study group worked through a study on Marriage:

The Roles of husband and wife from a Biblical Worldview

The lesson that stood out to me the most (From the Book Marriage on the Rock) was Jezebel.  There is an account in 1 Kings 21 that perfectly demonstrate the way roles were reversed in that home and the chaos that ensued.

I would not say I am evil like Jezebel but, I have similar characteristics when it comes to taking the role of leader from my husband and acting out of emotion.

In 1 Corinthians 11:3 (NASB) we see God clearly define the roles of Husband and Wife in a Christian Marriage.

Now before you jump ship on me, let me lend some perspective to this often misunderstood passage.


Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?   We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!

We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our Biblical Wifehood.

Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book.  We also have a Private Facebook group to let us connect – Wives only.

 

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Today’s article is a Guest Post for Kellyrbaker.com.  Kelly is an author and online mentor who loves leading others into God’s presence and Freedom found through Jesus! 

Finish reading How to Decide the Leader in a Christian Marraige 

(Plus my 2 Rules to follow to make it actually happen!)

Today’s article is an excerpt from the Marriage Course Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage.  This self paced course is for Wives Only -teaching us to live in our Marriage from a Biblical Worldview.

In this 9 Week study on Biblical Wifehood we will talk about:

  • Love
  • Forgiveness
  • Desires Vs. Preferences
  • My Mouth
  • Appreciation & Admiration
  • The Leader
  • Understanding Men
  • Respect
  • My Priorities

Click here to learn more – and as a special Bonus – I am giving away a seat in the class to 1 of Kelly’s readers – at the end of the post on her site 😉

in HIM,

Tiffany Montgomery

Tiffany is a wife and mother who is passionate about Encouraging and Equipping Women through Biblical Discipleship.

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