I need security, stability, safety just as much as the air I breathe. I expect security from my husband, Do you? Today I stand before you (well I sit really) as a Christian Wife choosing Hope and Joy in every Season of Life (If that is you too come join our FB Group). But if I a am gut level honest I struggle to stay there. I waffle back and forth between doubt and questioning, anxiety and complete surety, faith and fear.
Today I want to share my heart – not a How To or even Practical Christian Marriage Advice, just my heart and something God shared with me this morning in my Quiet Time about Security in Marriage.
An Open Letter To the Wife Who Needs Security in a Christian Marriage
What are the basic needs in a Marriage? His needs Her needs: Respect and Security are at the top of the list. But I know my husband asks “How do I make my wife feel loved and secure?” “How do I make my wife feel needed?” and he struggles to find the answers. LOL, It’s One thing to know what women want, but another thing to be able to meet that need.
One of my biggest needs as a Wife is security
No matter what season of Marriage we are in – a good marriage, a difficult marriage, It is hard not feeling secure in marriage. Security is one of the biggest needs of a woman in Marriage. The constant change of jobs and schedules, the struggle to pay bills, the pull of exhaustion from motherhood leaves me feeling insecure, unstable and afraid at times. I need emotional security in Marriage and I give that back to God every morning asking Him to give me security in life and meet this need.
When you face the question of How to feel secure in Marriage or How to build security in Marriage you must start with Prayer.Click To Tweet
How strong is your Prayer Life? Have you taken the challenge to become a Prayer Warrior Wife?
My prayer life has grown in boundless ways over the past decade not because I am some great mature Christian, but because my need for prayer has grown. And God has been faithful to answer so many prayers it has convinced me to Keep Praying and not Quit.
What kind of things do you pray for every day?
Some of my daily Prayers:
- My husband would stay at a job
- Financial Stability – life as a Stay At Home Mom is not easy –
- Healing from Chronic Pain and sickness
- Wisdom to raise my children
- Help to raise my child with Special Needs
- Growth for my ministry
- Healing and restoration in the Marriages in my Ministry
- Relief from Anxiety and PTSD
Do you struggle with Anxiety? I’d love to share 40 of my Go-To Verses to Overcome Anxiety in this Reading and Journaling Guide.
I pray through my list every morning giving my needs to God. That time begins with thanking God for all the blessings (there are so many things God has answered), praying through my needs, then studying the word to hear from God directly. Most days my Quiet time is routine.
Do you have a Quiet Time Routine?
My Quiet Time is part of my schedule. At 6:30 every morning I sit with God to pray, praise, read and wait for Him to speak.If you meet with God daily and expect Him to speak He will Speak.Click To Tweet
Today God spoke in such a powerful way about security that I had to share.
The study I am working through is so rich. I highly recommend it for personal study or in a mentoring relationship – in fact, I plan to use it while mentoring my Tween soon.
Conversation 5: Where is God When I’m Exhausted?
Bold Humility, Quiet Strength
As I worked through today’s page I was knocked speechless. Jayme is working through the need to set boundaries, speak the truth in Love and Walk in our Calling even when it looks counter-cultural. Then she lists this verse
Proverbs 1:33 “But he who listens to me shall live securely And will be at ease from the dread of evil.”
Today as I was crying out to God I again begged Him for Security.
God all the change in life is affecting my Anxeity, I am struggling to maintain sanity in life. Bud is going to change jobs again which will change our family’s life again and bring a new schedule, change how much money there is… I submit it to You but God I am weiry and tired of the change and the challenge. Father, I Don’t know if I can do this again. I need You.
That is where I left our prayer time before opening up the study to listen to God speak. As I read this verse (A verse I have read countless times before) It jumped off the page to me in a fresh new way.
This is what I heard from God about Security, stability, and safety and I pray it blesses you as well this morning.
You are worried about many things and I have heard your prayers. Life will not be smooth, comfortable or easy for you because it was not for Me but I am with You.
You are praying for your husband and all the changes he is making and decisions he is facing and I have heard your prayers. I am at work in His life and you can trust Me with Him. The road to growing Him will not be easy, comfortable or stable because change doesn’t happen that way. But you can Trust Me to keep you safe in the process.
Keep pressing into God and don’t quit when life gets hard
Pray and keep praying. Listen for Me and keep listening. Trust Me and keep Trusting. Keep your eyes on Me in the chaos of Life and I will keep you Securely and give you security in Me. I am the Rock you can trust not to Move. If you trust Me I will be your hiding place from the storms and I can give you the rest you need.
Sweet Wife, you do not have to live in dread of the evil, the change, the chaos of life. Trust Me, Listen to Me, Cast your every Care upon Me because I am security.
You are looking to your husband for security but he is not God and is not secure. Your husband is human and fallible, set that expectation of security on God instead. Security is one of the benefits of marriage the Culture sees – in fact, it’s a reason to get married for the culture but it’s not where your trust should be. Let ME be your safety net, let ME be your strong Tower. Come to ME when you are Weary and Heavy Laden and I will give you rest.
Is God your Security?
It doesn’t matter how far I think I have come in my faith, God is always showing me one more area He wants to grow. I know I said this wouldn’t be a “How To” post or be filled with Practical Marriage Advice, but this is what God was speaking to me today.
- Be Honest about the real needs in my life and marriage instead of being “Fine”
- Pray for my husband
- Pray for myself, my needs and my struggles
- Have a Consistent Quiet Time every day that includes
- Set my expectations on God instead of my husband (Read about that here as part of a Free Marriage Workshop)
- Keep my eyes on God when life gets hard
- Praise God for answers to Prayer
Is this an area you are struggling? I would love to Pray for you today. Just Comment “I’m In” to join me in letting God meet my need for Security and I’ll be lifting you up today.
Tiffany Montgomery of HopeJoyInChrist.com is a Jesus Girl with a passion to Encourage and Equip Christian Wives and Moms with Practical tools to Grow in Faith through Biblical Discipleship.