How to Embrace Sex in a Christian Marriage as a Rape Victim Sex, Body Image, and Faith in a Christian Marriage Improve sexual intimacy in a Christian Marriage, Forgive relationship quotes marriage quotes marriage advice

How to Embrace Sex in a Christian Marriage as a Rape Victim

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Is rape part of your story?  Statistics say One in Three women are victims of sexual violence in our society.  The statistic does NOT change if you are a Christian Woman living in a godly Marriage even if you grew up in the church.  This article is not specifically a Christian Perspective on rape or a Church View on Rape.  What I want to share with you today is Hope.  There is Hope for you – a rape victim – to live an Abundant life (a Victorious Life) here on Earth and specifically with sex in a Christian Marriage.

Hope for A Rape Victim to Embrace Sex in a Christian Marriage

Hope is a beautiful thing that I’ve only found in Christ.  Now don’t get me wrong, I sure tried hoping in other things – only to find they left me empty and frustrated.

  • I hoped life would be better when I grew up and had control of things.
    • LOL – we are never in control, are we?
  • I hoped Marriage would bring safety and love.
    • Who could have expected that was unrealistic and too much expectation.
  • I hoped children would fill my need for love.
    • Whew, they do and they don’t right?!?!?  There is more love than I deserve but more giving of love and feeling exhausted as well.
  • I hoped success would bring contentment.
    • None of that ever filled me up or healed that broken place.

When I finally gave it all to God and asked him to come to clean up my messy life I found Hope.  Hope came with submission to doing life God’s way.  Hope came with Forgiveness…

If you are a Rape Victim I am praying for you today

Some Resources that have helped me in the process of healing from Rape are below:

When Godly People Do Ungodly Things

Healing is a Choice

 

First, know that I have not written this for years – deliberately set it aside because I can’t even write about it without tears… so maybe get a box of tissue, read this alone…  whatever seems wisest for you sweet sister.

Hello, My name is Tiffany and I am a statistic.  I am the 1 of the 1 in 3 victims of rape or sexual violence.  Today I will give voice to a side of that statistic we don’t talk about much.  Rape is an attack that reaches it’s twisted black tendrils into every part of a woman’s life – for the rest of her life.  The effects of rape are so hard to overcome and they affect every relationship afterward.

The story of rape does not deserve this space – I won’t give him the satisfaction!  But I will share a few details so you know enough of my story to understand the struggle.  But I preface this post with a verse that had brought so much healing in my life.

Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.

How to Embrace Sex in a Christian Marriage as a Rape Victim Sex, Body Image, and Faith in a Christian Marriage Improve sexual intimacy in a Christian Marriage, Forgive relationship quotes marriage quotes marriage advice

Today’s article is a Guest Post in a Series on Contending for the Covenant 

As Christian Wives, it is all too easy to sweep the hard parts under the rug.  We are all dealing with something but we rarely talk about real things.  We pretend we are fine and hope it will all get better.  This series will bring to light many of the real – every day – issues we face a Christian Women living in a Godly Marriage.

Hard things like:

Sex After Rape in a Christian Marriage

How to Succeed in a Marriage to your Opposite

Biblical Order in a Christian Marriage

Trusting God with your Marriage in Crisis

Resentment in Marriage

Selfishness in Marriage

and so much more!

Finish reading my story at the Link below to learn how:

God’s love changed my story from Rape Victim to Free Woman – Victorious in Christ

See the Three Obstacles we overcame to save my marriage from the consequences of Rape:

  • See ways we set boundaries about sex.
  • And finally, see why we put sex on the calendar.

The Good news is there is Hope for a Rape Victim to Overcome the Obstacles and Embrace Sex in a Christian Marriage!Click To Tweet

It is important to note that the effects of rape reach far into our everyday life.  Healing is a process that comes when we face the hurt head first with the help of a supportive community and counseling.  There is no shame in seeking Christian Counseling.  If left untreated the effects of Sexual Assult can cause or worsen mental health issues.  Your attacker doesn’t deserve that much reach into your present.
For me, the first step was speaking out about the attack.  I found that so many others can relate – because we are many.  Rape feels like a label, shameful and overwhelmingly insurmountable when we keep it a secret.  When we speak out we find community, we find strength.

When we open up about rape it frees us to deal with the pain and move into healing. Forgiveness is possible. Freedom is on the other side of Forgiveness. Click To Tweet

There are some things that are hard to write, so I sat down to talk through the Process of Forgiveness for Rape.  Watch it here – “How to Heal after Rape through Forgiveness

PS…  Are you looking for a Marriage Bible Study to help you save a marriage?  Check out Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage

Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage Online Marriage Course for Wives Only PinIt ( #findinghopeandjoyinmymarriage #ChristianMarriage #ChristianMarriageadvice #BiblicalMarriage #Relationshipadvice #ChristianLiving #HopeinMarriage )

Who is this Marriage Bible Study for?

  • Are you a wife worried that your Christian Marriage is not going to survive?
  • Do you feel hopeless, joyless or miserable in your Marriage?
  • Are you a wife – unsure what your role is in your Christian Marriage?
  • Do you struggle to connect as a couple anymore?
  • Do you feel trapped, with no idea how to fix a marriage?
  • Have you tried everything and nothing has helped our Marriage?
  • Are you thinking or talking about divorce?

Whatever season of Christian Marriage I find myself in, it seems easy to forget that God’s way and the Culture’s way are different.

Are you Ready for Radical Change in your Marriage?

That was me – just a few years ago. Stuck, Hopeless and Miserable with no idea how to change the course of our Christian Marriage. I had read every book I could find, went to retreats, marriage counseling… and still, our Marriage was failing.

What changed?

  • We hit rock bottom.
  • I got very real with God about my part in the Marriage.
  • I found a Mentor I could trust.
  • We worked through every issue in our marriage with an open Bible!

I found another way to do Biblical Marriage – a Radical Way – that changed our direction from divorce-bound to Hope and Joy filled.

You can have Hope and Joy in your Marriage too!

God has a way to do Marriage that brings Hope and Joy!!!!!!!!

In this 9 week Course, we will dig into the Bible and find a way to rebuild our Marriage to last a lifetime!

Learn More Here!

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Tiffany Montgomery

Tiffany Montgomery of HopeJoyInChrist.com is a Jesus Girl with a passion to Encourage and Equip Christian Wives and Moms with Practical tools to Grow in Faith through Biblical Discipleship.

11 thoughts to “How to Embrace Sex in a Christian Marriage as a Rape Victim”

  1. I’m not a rape victim, but I was sexually molested as a child and that had a huge impact on my sex life when I grew up. I can only imagine how much of an impact rape would have. Thankfully, we know the One who heals all wounds.

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