Can I tell you a secret? I easily get my priorities mixed up. I wrestle with God over who is Lord of my life. I do not always want to surrender to His will His way so I say “Surrender is hard”. Is it really hard or is that a lie from the enemy?
I don’t really like to face the truth about myself Y’all… but when I come face to face with it I can’t deny it:
I am a selfish control freak.
Most days I have a hard time surrendering control of my life to anyone – even God.
The thing is I think I have surrendered my life to Him.
I think I am in a good place.
I think there’s no hidden sin.
Then God reveals another area I am holding onto (white knuckled) declaring I am in control.
It’s funny how hard it is to give up control of my life to an unseen God…
I remind myself:
“He is all knowing -trust Him”
“He has proved faithful – trust Him”.
2 Samuel 22:2-3 The Lord is my rock and fortress and my deliverer; The God of my strength, in whom will I trust;
And still here I stand – holding tight to my way – terrified to let go of it and trust Him.
There are a lot of excuses and rationalizations for holding these area’s back from God’s control but in the end it boils down to 1 fact.
I am wrong.
God has been teaching me to line up my priorities with His Word.
I have to begin with truth: I have to lay myself honestly at His feet and admit I don’t actually want to do it His way.
My heart wrenching prayer at the beginning of every single “control” struggle with God is this:
“Help me want to want what You want in my life.”
Pslam 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.
And He does
One of many things I love about God is that He meets us where we are and moves us along the path He has set for us. God is so faithful!
The enemy lies y’all!
Surrender is not hard. I believe it is the #1 lie we believe.
The decision to surrender is hard. Surrender itself is easy.
We just have to get past the lies. Do you hear them like I do?
The Lie: Loving God with my whole life is hard.
The truth is I love myself and tend to work toward my own plans. They are often good plans, but if they are not God’s plans, they are wrong. Sometimes I find they are based in envy (Read more about Holy Envy here).
But God is faithful to gently remind me and show me when I have gotten off course. That gives me a chance to surrender to Him anew.
The Lie: Loving my husband is hard!
This one feels true at it’s core. It shouldn’t be, but it is at times… and for the same reason it is hard to love God.
Because I love myself, I am prone to selfishness.
I am also working through a Series each Monday to remind myself how to do this batter. Check it out #MarriageMonday
The truth is My husband needs my love and I do love him.
The truth is I forget he needs my appreciation and admiration. He needs me to show respect and honor. My husband needs me to accept him for who he is in this moment. He needs me to want him 😉 These principles are actually in the Bible. I am to be this kind of wife – if I am living out Biblical Wifehood.
The truth is that many days I don’t want to surrender. It is work. I rationalize my bad attitude, my unkind reactions, my… sin.
Truth: Surrender is not hard
You may be asking… But how do I surrender my life to God?
It starts with an attitude shift that says:
- I will do life God’s way because He said so
- Even when I don’t feel like it, I will live life God’s way
- When I don’t understand, I will keep doing life God’s way
That is a life of surrender. That is a life of discipleship. It’s not a perfect life, it is a life in the process. I think that’s what we can strive for… living in the process with Jesus.
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me all you are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Aren’t you thankful for His mercy and grace?
My Priorities are laid out- Love:
Serve others… nope, God is showing me the need to love myself
Loving myself is harder than everything else He’s been showing me. Can’t wait to share it with you! You won’t want to miss it.