Have you ever doubted your husbands’ faith? Questioned his salvation… Wondered why he seems stuck about certain spiritual matters… Begged God to grow him up into a man of Authentic Faith living out his calling as the Spiritual Leader of your home… Today we are standing together to fight for unity in our Christian Marriage (read more about that here) – whether you are in a difficult season or offensively preparing for the next difficult season.
How To Fight for his Authentic Faith in thought, prayer and with words of affirmation.
Faith comes under fire in our life daily. Never forget – we are at war. There is a battle raging in the Spiritual Realms. We can’t see it, but we can certainly feel the effects of it in our lives and in our Marriage.
The enemy would love nothing more than to spread doubt, fear, and hopelessness about our own faith. If that doesn’t work he quickly goes on to whisper a shadow of doubt about our spouse’s faith.
What’s more, there may be truth in his whispering – an inch of truth goes a mile for destroying unity and stirring the pot in a Christian Marriage going through a difficult season.
Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?
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Way # 1 to Fight for Authentic Faith in My Husband is in My Thoughts
The enemy chips away at us in our thoughts. We make his work way too easy when we do not fight back. How do you fight back in our Thoughts? So glad you asked!
Step 1. Take Every Single Thought Captive.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ
Step 2. Take every captive thought through the Philippians 4:8 Test
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8 NASB).
I’ll take you through this Test for my thoughts – since those are the only thoughts I know.
As I begin to pray and feel frustrated that we are stuck in this same place – again. The enemy begins to play those same fears out in my thoughts… those thoughts I need to Take Captive or else end up in a pit of sin myself.
Is he really saved? If he were saved would you still be struggling with this? Maybe it was a lie. He’s such an immature believer if it’s real. You are unequally yoked. How can he lead when you are so much more mature than he is? He has messed up so many times he’ll never get this right. We all suffer while he is growing in this area…
Philippians 4:8 Test about Authentic Faith in my Husband
What is True?
- Is my husband saved? He says he is and I am not God.
- Has my husband grown spiritually?
- Who am I to judge that?
- God will judge him in this area one day.
- I am saved.
- God has told me to love all – saved or lost.
- I am to bear others burdens and show compassion instead of judgment.
- I can only see his actions – not his thoughts, intentions or faith.
What is honorable?
- He makes mistakes but he is not his mistakes.
- There is good in him about faith.
- He does not stop me from growing in my faith.
- There are times he goes to church with me and engages about it.
- I remember when he would never go to church – he has grown here.
- He cares that the children have faith
What is Just?
- His faith is personal and will not look like mine.
- I have punished him in the past for not conforming to my way of faith.
- His faith is between him and God and I have to leave it there.
What is Pure?
- I will not compare him to anyone else.
- While I pursue authentic faith I will guard against friendships with other men who are pursuing their faith.
- I will intentionally seek out other like-minded wives to study the word with.
What is lovely?
- He does not need to meet my expectations about authentic faith.
- I want to assume his intentions are good even if he falls short.
- He read his verse of the day when he was exhausted from work.
- He is trying his best – not my best his best – and that matters.
What is of good repute?
- He has trusted me enough to share that he struggles to understand scripture.
- If he were anyone else this would be enough.
- The pressure to figure all of this out as an adult is huge and he is doing the best he can.
What is excellent?
- He has a bible.
- I have seen him read the bible.
- He has bible apps and has shown me things in his Uverse thing that is personal.
- He goes to church with us when he can.
- There are many areas he has grown this past decade.
What is worthy of Praise?
- My husband is a child of God.
- God loves my husband so much that He sent His Son to die for his sins.
- The Holy Spirit is working in my husband – even when I can’t see or understand.
Just a word to those Wives reading this thinking I know 100% that my husband is not saved.
To the Wive who’s husband is not saved
It can be difficult to respect our husband when we are saved and they are not. I know that feeling all too well.
When Bud and I married, I was sure it wouldn’t matter that he was a non-christian. Little did I know the pain of differing in this most core part of who we are. It became the fighting point in every disagreement. “You’re just over the top about all this Jesus stuff.” and so on.
I praise God for the day Bud was saved. That day came after several years of intense prayer. I found every verse I could about salvation and faith and prayed them back to God, claiming Bud under the blood of Jesus. His name went on every prayer list I could find. If anyone asked if they could pray – I wanted them praying for his salvation.
That was a war and I chose to fight for Authentic Faith through prayer.
Fight this war with strategic specific scriptural prayer! God is for you. He will answer. God’s answer to that prayer was one of the first and it built a faith in me that continues to Grow.
Now my prayer is for Bud’s faith to be authentic Faith that is growing so that he will one day lead our family Spiritually.
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Way # 2 to Fight for Authentic Faith in My Husband is with Prayer
Faith is something that we can never pray too much over. I’ve separated it into sections because you may not need all of this. Pick what applies to your situation and take your heart to God.
A Prayer for Myself as I seek to Respect my husband and grow in Authentic Faith
Lord Jesus, I bow myself at your throne, coming boldly to intercede for my husband. Teach me to take every thought captive. Forgive me for my pride, self-righteousness, judgemental thoughts words and actions and for refusing to show respect. Remove from me this hard heart. Teach me to show respect to my husband – because it is Your Will. Forgive me for every time I have done or said anything that has hurt my husband and stunted his faith.
Show me where I am part of the problem. Open up doors of opportunity to love him and respect him and speak life and salvation with grace, gentleness, and love. Show me how to accept my husband and leave his faith to You. Forgive me for the idolatry of taking control – believing I could do it better than You. Help me keep my eyes on You, focus on You. Change me into a godly wife growing in my own Authentic Faith leaving You God of my husband.
A Prayer for My husbands’ Salvation
Father, I praise You that You loved us so much you sent Your Only Son to save WhoSoEver believes in Him. I lay my husband at your feet. He is a WhoSoEver in the world. You made a way for him to be saved and I come humbly before You to intercede for his soul. Please soften his heart so he can hear You and feel You knocking (Ezekiel 11:19). Open his heart to the gospel (Acts 16:14 ) Defend him from the enemy and release him from any hold the enemy has over him (2 Corinthians 4:4).
I believe it is Your will that all be saved and none be lost, so as I pray, believing according to Your will I will thank You in advance for the salvation of my husband. I believe that You will bring The word near my husband, that he will confess with his mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in his heart that God raised Him from the dead, and that he will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.
For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:8-13. I am believing this for my husband and I thank you for it now!
A Prayer for authentic faith
Lord Jesus, please forgive me for expecting my husband to have a faith that looks, acts and sounds like mine. Help me accept him the way he is and trust You to grow an authentic faith in his life. Teach him that Authentic Faith does not focus on the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18). Give him a heart that seeks You and Your Kingdom first and grows to trust You in every area of his life.
A Prayer for satisfaction in Christ alone
Abba, you say Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied (Matthew 5:6). I ask that you would cause every other thing my husband seeks satisfaction to lead only to disappointment. Show him how to bring his ever need and longing to You because you satisfy the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul You fill with what is good (Psalm 107:9).
A Prayer for trust in the lord
Lord, I know when we trust You will all of our heart You will make our paths straight. Please give my husband an added measure of faith today to Trust You. Give him the faith to say “The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him” (Psalm 28:7). Show Him answered prayers to grow his faith and help him be a man who Prays big prayers – fully relying on You for everything.
A Prayer to submit to God humbly
Father, trouble surrounds my husband. The enemy has marked him and he is in the midst of great trials. Teach him the benefit of being fully Submitted to God. Give him the strength to Resist the devil so that the enemy will flee from him. (James 4:7). This requires such humility of spirit and can only happen when you work it into Him. Teach him that humility does not make him small, but a giant in Your Kingdom.
A Prayer for spiritual growth
Lord make me a Prayer Warrior Wife who can say I we have not ceased to pray for my husband. I ask that he would be filled with the knowledge of YOUR will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that he will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might. Help my husband attain all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light. (Colossians 1:9-12)
Please grant my husband, according to the riches of Your glory, to be strengthened with power through YOUR Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in his hearts through faith; and that my husband, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that he may be filled up to all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19)
Way # 3 to Fight for Authentic Faith in My Husband is with Words of Affirmation
The last way we can fight for Authentic faith is with Words of Affirmation.
You will have to work back through the Philippians 4:8 Test. Pull out the good thoughts you are now working into your mind. Pick a few of them to say, text or write to your husband today.
Need help finding ideas to speak Words of Affirmation into your Husbands life?
Some examples I am going to try today.
- I see you are carrying so many burdens. What can I pray about with you?
- It means so much to me that you do not stop me from growing in my faith.
- You are leading us well each time you go to church with us
- I remember when you never went to church with us – your faith has grown so much
- I am sorry for trying to force your faith to look like mine.
- There have been times I’ve given you a cold shoulder for not conforming to my way of faith. Can you forgive me?
- I love hearing about the verse you read today, that is so sexy.
- Thank you for sharing that you struggle to understand scripture. Sometimes I do too.
- I know it is hard to find time to grow in faith as an adult. It turns me on that you make time.
- Have you seen anything on your Uverse app that I might enjoy?
- As I was praying for you this morning God reminded me that he loves you. You are precious to Him. I thought it would make you smile today because it is so easy to forget.
Those are just 11 words of affirmation that show Respect, help us fight for unity in our Christian marriage – even in a difficult season.
I’d love to hear some that you came up with!
Who is this Marriage Course for?
- Are you a wife worried that your Christian Marriage is not going to survive?
- Do you feel hopeless, joyless or miserable in your Marriage?
- Are you a wife – unsure what your role is in your Christian Marriage?
- Do you struggle to connect as a couple anymore?
- Do you feel trapped?
- Have you tried everything and nothing has helped our Marriage?
- Are you thinking or talking about divorce?
Whatever season of Christian Marriage I find myself in, it seems easy to forget that God’s way and the Culture’s way are different.
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That was me – just a few years ago. Stuck, Hopeless and Miserable with no idea how to change the course of our Christian Marriage. I had read every book I could find, went to retreats, counseling… and still, our Marriage was failing.
- We hit rock bottom.
- I got very real with God about my part in the Marriage.
- I found a Mentor I could trust.
- We worked through every issue in our marriage with an open Bible!
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