What is the point of marriage? Is it worth all the hard work and headaches involved in creating a healthy marriage? I don’t know if you are single, wondering if marriage is worth the effort, or married wondering if fighting for your marriage is worth the effort. Either way, today I want to share some Biblical perspective to help you sift through all the questions, struggles, and confusion. Yes, there are Biblical Reasons for Marriage, to get married and work on strengthening your marriage.Yes, there are Biblical Reasons for Marriage, to get married and work on strengthening your marriage. Click To Tweet
The Importance of Understanding The Biblical Reasons for Marriage – in Marriage
The memory of divorce is still so fresh in my mind. I recall with tears the ache of rejection, the fear that I was damaged and the pain of thinking about the future as a divorced Christian woman. I married my first husband at the age of 19, still starry-eyed and new to the world of love. Marriage found me full of expectations and Disney dreams and left me disillusioned and hopeless. Can you relate?
Fast forward 3 years after the divorce only to find me smack in the middle of difficult marriage #2 asking God some hard questions.
- What is the Biblical purpose of marriage today?
- Where in the Bible does it define marriage?
- Who originated the marriage institution?
- Are there Bible Verses to save marriage?
Weighty questions for sure, but my head was spinning. I reasoned that maybe marriage was outdated and pointless.
Honestly, I had lost 4 pregnancies at that point – so children wouldn’t be the point of this marriage. He was an alcoholic who refused to think of others – so love wouldn’t be the point of this marriage.
But the pain of divorce was still fresh and I was sure there had to be another way through this crazy life.
Where in the bible does it define marriage?
Where in the Bible does it define marriage? This was another question I asked. Yes, in Genesis God created man and woman and joined them together to become one flesh, but that’s the Old Testament. Did Jesus talk about marriage? Where in the Bible does it define marriage by Jesus?
“And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”” (Matthew 19:4-6 NASB)
So we see one of the biblical reasons for marriage is that God instituted marriage from the beginning of time.So we see one of the biblical reasons for marriage is that God instituted marriage from the beginning of time. Click To Tweet
What Are The Reasons Why God Created Marriage?
Why did God create marriage at all? Couldn’t Adam and Eve have just lived life together without the legalities? Well, to answer that question we need to understand that God had a design for His creation. He didn’t just throw some things together and hope it all worked out. No, God meticulously crafted all of creation to point to Him and our need for Him.He didn't just throw some things together and hope it all worked out. No, God meticulously crafted all of creation to point to Him and our need for Him. Click To Tweet
How These10 Biblical Reasons for Marriage Apply Today
As I took my pain and fear to God in prayer for my marriage He began to teach me these 10 Biblical Reasons for Marriage that still apply today. They helped me shift my perspective, accept the need to find a Christian counselor and set Biblical boundaries. Today I want to share these with you with the hope that they help you through your own journey. They are proof that God can even use suffering to transform your marraige!
#1 Knowing WHO originated the marriage institution is important
Marriage is more than just a piece of paper that legal binds you to another person for tax purposes. Who originated the marriage institution? God.
Let’s look at just a couple of what I would call “God ordained marriage scripture to believe in”:
“The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”” (Genesis 2:22-24 NASB)
And so God created and then united the first man and woman in marriage even though we don’t see a specific marriage vow. They became one flesh and walked through life together in perfection… for about a moment 😉 Then sin came and tore up that union in so many ways.As I took my pain and fear to God in prayer for my marriage He began to lay out 10 Biblical Reasons for Marriage that still apply today. Click To Tweet
#2 God’s design in creation to point people back to Him.
Yes, marriage was a strategic piece of God’s design in creation to point people back to Him. All throughout the Old Testament we see God using Marriage as a description of our relationship. God is described as our Husband or Bridegroom and we are the Bride of Christ.
“And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you.” (Isaiah 62:5 NASB)
We see the concept repeated in the New Testament as well.
“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body…
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 NASB)
For better or worse, God originated Marriage and desires that marriage point all of creation back to Him. So there is a Biblical reason for Marriage.For better or worse, God originated Marriage and desires that marriage point all of creation back to Him. So there is a Biblical reason for Marriage. Click To Tweet
Biblical Benefits of Marriage
Personally, that wasn’t a good enough reason to work to save my marriage at the time. When marriage is hard, saving it for the Kingdom of God is the farthest thought you can entertain. So I kept digging. Were there Biblical Benefits of Marriage that could help me get motivated to save my marriage? Yes, there are several benefits.
#3 A Biblical Benefit of Marriage is companionship, Relationship, or lack of loneliness
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”” (Genesis 2:18 NASB)
So God looked over all of creation and proclaimed that humankind needed companionship. When God created Eve He made her the perfect fit, companion, Helpmeet for Adam.
Notice that God didn’t look over creation and say a man needs a soul-deep love affair to complete him. God didn’t send Adam to meet Eve riding on a white horse. A relationship was one of the first Biblical Reasons for Marriage. And that fits so perfectly with the relationship-driven nature of God. Doesn’t it?
God is all about having a relationship with you. He created men and women to crave that relationship is a way of pointing us back to Him. Yet again showing that the Biblical Purpose of Marriage is more about God than us.
The Biblical Purposes of Marriage are a deep subject. To learn more about that check out this guest post over at Laced With Purpose Faith Building Event!
#4 Sexual Intimacy
One of the many reasons Christians get married is a natural desire for sexual intimacy. God created us naked and unashamed, with a desire for sexual intimacy. That was a natural part of God’s original design for marriage. Yes He was being purposeful in the marriage bedroom.
“Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19 NASB)
God designed sexual intimacy for many reasons but one of them was certainly pleasure. See the entire book of Song of Solomon. It is important to point out that God also set healthy boundaries around sexual intimacy.
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4 NASB)
“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18 NASB)
So among all the Biblical Reasons for Marriage that still apply today is the desire to honor God and enjoy sexual intimacy.So among all the Biblical Reasons for Marriage that still apply today is the desire to honor God and enjoy sexual intimacy. Click To Tweet
God created man and woman, gave them the gift of pleasure in sexual intimacy and a command to multiply. (My kids laugh when we read that part).
“God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”” (Genesis 1:28 NASB)
Procreation was a part of God’s original design for marriage. Now that hit me in all the wrong places at the time. I had lost 4 pregnancies and the doctors were convinced I would never carry a child to term. But why was procreation such an important part of marriage?
Sexual intimacy leads to pregnancy in healthy couples. The first man and wife were to populate the entire planet. And before the advent of modern technology, it took a large family to work the land and support each other. Procreation was vital to human existence.
Many years later, and 2 beautiful live-born children, I think there was something else God had in mind for Adam and Eve raising Children.
Raising children helps you understand God much better. Any mom’s out there how can relate? When I discipline my children I can imagine how frustrating I must be to God at times. As my kids pester me for ridiculous, childish things, I am humbled to remember many of my prayers.
Parenting helps you connect to God in a whole new way and it grows you up in ways nothing else can.
#6 Provision (Security) and Support
After the first marriage, we begin to see the roles of husband and wive in the Bible and they sound a lot like security and support.
Adam was given the job – before the fall – to work the land. This is a way of providing for himself and later his wife. Provision
“Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” (Genesis 2:15 NASB)
Eve was created to support Adam. She was perfectly created as a helper, counterpart for support, Ezar
“…I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18 NASB)
We were never intended to go through life alone and one of the Biblical reasons for marriage was to meet that need for provision and support.We were never intended to go through life alone and one of the Biblical reasons for marriage was to meet that need for provision and support. Click To Tweet
#7 Marriage teaches us about Love and Respect
The culture often gets the purpose of marriage confused. They teach that marriage comes from love and as long as love is alive in the marriage you stay and work through the hard issues. There is also a confusing message about respect in a Christian marriage.
The problem is that cultural love and biblical love differ.
- Cultural love is a feeling that comes and goes and if your marriage is based solely on that feeling you are in trouble.
- Biblical love is a choice. We get a picture of what Biblical Love is in 1 Corinthians 13 (We did a word study on that passage – find it here):
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NASB)
Paul is referring to the love we are to have for all believers in 1 Corinthians 13, but no other relationship tests these characteristics of love like marriage.
One of the Biblical reasons for marriage is to teach you how to love as a choice of your will, every day, no matter what life throws at you!One of the Biblical reasons for marriage is to teach you how to love as a choice of your will, every day, no matter what life throws at you! Click To Tweet
More Examples of Biblical Love
My friend over at Sandra’s Ark wrote on the marriage of Ruth and Boaz. If ever there was a story in the Bible of love and respect that is one! Check it out below!
#8 Marriage Refines our Character
Throughout scripture, we are challenged to take off our old fleshly self and put on the new man. God is continually refining our character and if you are married, your spouse is the chisel He often uses.
Your spouse rubs you in all the wrong places sometimes and that reveals pride, selfishness, un-forgiveness. All parts of our character that God longs to refine and mold more into His image.
You are challenged to be a Wife of noble character
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4 NASB)
“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” (Proverbs 31:10 NASB)
If you allow Him to, God will use your marriage to reveal areas He is trying to sanctify in your soul.Cultural love is a feeling that comes and goes and if your marriage is based solely on that feeling you are in trouble. Biblical love is a choice. We get a picture of what Biblical Love is in 1 Corinthians 13 (We did a word… Click To Tweet
#9 Marriage makes you Holy
So we see that God instituted marriage for many reasons that are wonderful; relationship, sexual intimacy, procreation, security, support and so much more. But in the midst of that relationship, God is pointing us back to Him. Oh, I changed that a bit didn’t I?
Marriage does point the lost world to God because it gives a glimpse of how God relates to us. But Marriage also points husband and wife back to God. You see, your spouse can never fulfill all your expectations, satisfy all your longings or meet all your needs.
Let me say that again.
Your spouse can never fulfill all your expectations, satisfy all your longings or meet all your needs. And they were never created to. Only God can be your everything.
And when you are faced with an unfulfilled expectation, an unsatisfied longing or an unmet need you have a choice. Turn to God to meet the needs He created and only He can fully satisfy, or turn away from God and wallow in misery.
This is a judgment-free zone. I’ve done it both ways. For years I blamed my husband for all my problems and unmet needs and lived in misery, bitterness, and resentment.
Then God began showing me how each unmet need was intended to drive me to Him. One of the Biblical benefits of marriage is that each time I feel unfulfilled I am to turn to God, let Him meet that need, reveal my sin, refine my soul and make me more holy.
There is a marriage quote from the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas that sums up so much of this point!
Marriage makes you holy not happy
#10 Marriage teaches us to Pray
I don’t know about you, but when marriage is hard I am driven to my knees. Through those times of prayer, God has taught me how to pray. Crazy right? Prayer taught me how to pray. As I prayed and God answered I got to know more of God’s character, faithfulness, and power which further fueled my prayer life.
Praying with others also taught me to pray and I would never have gone to others if it weren’t for marriage troubles. Marriage troubles drove me to learn strategic prayer – war room prayers for my marriage became a way of life for me in those hard times. Some verses the encourage me to keep coming back to God time and time again – you might even call them “Bible verses to save marriage” are:
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” (James 5:16 NASB)
That one piggybacks on the point that Marriage makes us holy. I have to have dealt with my sin for my prayer life to be powerful. Powerful strategic prayer flows from a life lived with a short sin list!
“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16 NASB)
You can come to God boldly to pray over your marriage and He will help in your time of need!You can come to God boldly to pray over your marriage and He will help in your time of need! Click To Tweet
Which of These 10 Biblical Reasons for Marriage Spoke To You Today?
All those years ago, as I sat face to face with these 10 Biblical reasons for Marriage – that still apply today- I had a choice. I could agree with God that yes, there is a purpose of marriage today and begin to embrace the Biblical keys to a successful marriage – to stay married. Or I could turn from God, divorce again, and go through the pain of that sinful mistake. Don’t misunderstand me, I believe there are Biblical reasons to divorce, but I wasn’t living in any of them. My marriage was hard because of sin on both of our parts and God had clearly told me to stay and stand for my marriage. You have to Guard your heart in a Difficult Marriage!
I chose to stay. But staying meant working through sin and hurt through a Christian counselor. It is not shameful to get help. An outside, unattached person can often speak into a hurting situation in a powerful way. If you are in a hard season get help sweet wife!
The counselor taught me about Biblical Boundaries for sinful behavior. Those boundaries created a safe place for us to start again and have a marriage that will stand the test of time.
I’m curious which Biblical reason for marriage most challenges you:
- God instituted marriage
- Marriage points others to God
- Marriage is for relationship
- Sexual Intimacy was God’s design to bless marriage
- Procreation is a reason for marriage
- Provision and support are reasons for marriage
- Marriage teaches love
- Godly character is refined through marriage
- Marriage makes us holy
- Prayer is learned through marriage
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