How did we end up back in this place again? Why did I say that to him – again!?!?! I took the class, I listened to the preacher, we prayed – how can I break this cycle once and for all and have the happily ever after I dreamed of for my Christian Marriage? Can you relate to that perspective?
The day I sat across from our pastor talking about how desperate I was to find a way to breath in our home is still fresh in my mind. We had done counseling, read books, taken classes, talked until I was sick of the subject and even went to a last chance retreat. Things seemed to work for the moment – but it was like a band aid after heart surgery. Ya know what I mean?
Hubby and I have been through thick and thin. We agreed Divorce would never be a word we would use, but that often felt like a death sentence in this failing marriage.
A Christian Marriage was not a Fairy-tale
I was sure that when that man got saved – all our marriage problems would vanish over night. They didn’t. It took a while to realize Marriage was going to be the hardest work I’ve ever done.
After years of struggling I now have a handle on how to Thrive in this Married life. In my search toward Finding Hope and Joy in my Marriage I learned that part of the problem was my Perspective.
Whew, that’s a $20 word isn’t it?!?! Perspective is a new way to look at something.
2 Corinthians 4:18 We look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Gaining Perspective in a Christian Marriage
We talk about Worldview a lot when we think of evangelism. We share Christ and live out the Gospel all of the world – both across oceans and across the street – but rarely in our own homes. Or at least that was my story.
You see, I treated people well, and people thought highly of me outside of my home. But I was living inside of my home with hurt, un-forgiveness, and unrealistic expectations. I didn’t know how to set those things aside and really love well.
Even with that perspective Shift I held onto all the bitterness and resentment from a lifetime of Not to Forgiving.
Until God stepped in and showed me the pathway to forgiveness – which lead to freedom!
Do you need a helping had along the Pathway to Forgiveness? I’d love to share my story with you in this Free E-Challenge.
Loving my husband well required a Perspective Shift: It gave me A New Way to Love in a Christian Marriage
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
I had to stop trying to make my marriage into a Fairy-tale and live firmly in the reality that existed. The reality was ugly and filled with the sin of 2 imperfect humans. Sin. We both had a lot of sin to deal with, and yet I spent most of my day completely focused on my husbands sin – justifying my own.
The biggest Perspective Shift that changed everything in our Christian Marriage was Acceptance
I had to accept the man my husband was, while praying God would change him into the man he could be. Acceptance meant I had some changing to do.
The important things to change were:
- How I spoke to him when he messed up
- Praying for him with a new power and intensity
- Forgiving him when he messed up
- Seeing his good side instead of focusing on his flaws
These and so many others are what healed my hopeless and burned out marriage. Now we are in a place of Hope and Joy -in Christ alone– and It is my pleasure to Mentor other wives along the journey.
God took me through a journey of re-learning how to live as a wife with a Biblical Worldview. It is a joy for me to teach and mentor locally and I am thrilled to launch this Online Course.
The Course is laid out in 9 Modules with a Video Lesson to introduce the topic and a downloadable workbook.
- Inside the workbook are 5 days of work for you to do – just you and God.
We will walk through the topics of:
- That is deeper than lip service
- Desires Vs. Preferences
- And how they war
- My Mouth
- Why & How we can tame it
Appreciation & Admiration
- The best ways to use our words to create momentum in our Marriage.
- The Leader
- Who is it and how do we actually make that a reality.
- Understanding Men
- What does this really mean and how can we accomplish it?
- Setting them to make the best Future for our Marriage