Have you ever thought about how many choices we make in the day? Most choices in my life are easy; the choice between the venti or the tall frappuccino for example. Then there are choices that require me to be brave. Choosing to fight for my marriage; choosing to love God’s way when it seems like foolishness – when He says, “Love believes all things“. All Things??? That requires bravery!
Why Learn How Love Believes All Things?
Have you ever noticed I tend to start with the why? Why learn this hard thing? The truth is, it would be easier to just walk away when marriage gets hard. Fighting for your marriage when everything seems to be against you is hard, frustrating, and not popular.
So why go to all the trouble to learn how love believes all things? Because it’s worth it. Yes, it’s hard, but the reward far outweighs the cost.
The Benefits of Loving God’s Way
Today, as I write this, I am once again challenged by something hard in my marriage. For months it has been building up and this past week everything exploded. Through it all, I have wrestled with the same questions.
Is it ever going to get better? Will he ever learn? When will we be past this?
I’ve prayed, asked others to pray, cried, journaled, found verses to pray, and more. Each day I wake to give this hard thing back to God to fight the battle. Each evening I confess that I’ve taken it back to worry over. It’s hard.
Today there was a victory. It may look very small to someone from the outside, but it is HUGE to me. My husband made a sharp turn of course that will make all the difference in our situation. Why? Because God is faithful!
The benefit of loving God’s way is that God is faithful to reward those who seek Him, humble themselves under Him, and obey Him.
He answers prayers and moves in miraculous ways and grows our faith hugely when we submit to doing marriage His way.
What Kind of Love is 1 Corinthians 13 Talking About?
Love, as we’ve seen in our word study of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, is a verb. Follow each linked word to review what we’ve learned so far about the kind of love God calls each Christian to show to others.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act disrespectfully or unbecomingly; it does not seek it’s own, is not provoked to anger, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth;bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, enduring all things. Love never fails.“
As we have examined each of the verbs in this text we’ve been applying it to better become godly wives within our Christian marriage.
This 1 Corinthians 13 love has really challenged us to show love through action and by faith. Learning how love believes all things in marriage will be no less challenging.
What Does 1 Corinthians 13:7 Mean?
Today’s phrase is in a list showing us that love reflects Jesus to the lost world. No pressure. In the first part of this love book, the verbs are very personal, instructions for how to love others.
As we get to 1 Corinthians 13:7 there is a shift to a Gospel-focused love. The kind of love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things requires God’s strength. In God’s strength, we can love like Jesus loves and win the lost world to Him!
Now, something to remember is that Paul’s letter is not written with marriage as its topic. He is actually talking about how we love others in general, but marriage falls into that group of loving other people, right?!?!
We can love in marriage with a Gospel-focused mindset as well.
What Does Love Believes All Things Mean?
One thing that is important when discussing the meaning of these verbs is that they tie in together. We are focused on the love believes all things meaning, but it works best together; love believes all things endures all things, love believes all things hopes all things, and so on.
Digging into the meaning through blueletterbible.org we see several points to believing all things in love:
- Love trusts/believes/places faith in others.
- This doesn’t mean we are to be naïve, but that we should give others the benefit of the doubt.
- We should set suspicion aside and believe.
- Use caution, however, to guard your heart against those who have proven they will hurt you.
How Can We Believe All Things in Marriage?
To be honest with you, this verb is the hardest for me. It is hard to “believe” all things when your spouse has messed up many times. There are days I want to live this out but I fall short. In those moments I cling to this verse.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not leave on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
If you are struggling with repeated patterns of sin in your marriage you will appreciate Kira Bridges’ (from Joy Pursued ) post entitled, How To Be a Biblical Wife to an Ungodly Husband.
Other times, I am able to walk with the Lord through difficult seasons with 4 steps.
- Guard against a hard heart
- Believe all things about God.
- Step out in faith to obey.
- Trust Him to catch you.
Guard Against a Hard Heart
Do you guard your heart against your husband? I fall into this temptation of allowing my heart to get hard all too often.
With each new twist in our journey, I am tempted to look back at all his missteps and guard myself against my husband. It’s hard to forgive and move into a place that believes again.
But God…
God is just a prayer away if I seek Him with my whole heart. Internalize that truth to guard against a hard heart in marriage.
Related Post: How to Create Prayers for Marriages in Trouble: War Room Prayer Strategy
Believe All Things About God
When I see my husband going down a path that I know will cause us harm, I freak out. Anybody else? He won’t always listen to me and there are times we just have to walk through the mess so God can teach him to do better next time.
Believing all things about my husband, when he makes unwise choices that hurt our family is tough. I’d be lying if I said I always believe the best in my man.
God has had to work this principle deeply into my heart, Y’all. There are honestly days I just can’t believe all things about Bud. But, I can believe all things about God.
I can believe that:
- God is for me and our family.
- The Lord’s plans are to prosper us and give us a future.
- God will listen when I pray.
When you can’t believe all things in your spouse, you can believe all things in God. Start there!
Step Out in Faith To Obey
So we know God has a way to love others and walk godly in marriage. When your spouse is messing up big time it’s hard to obey God, it’s hard to step out in faith.
Keeping our eyes on God to keep from getting hard-hearted helps. Believing all things about God helps. But even when it still feels hard we have to step out in faith and obey – even when it’s hard to understand what God could possibly be up to.
What do obedience and faith look like in relationship to love believing all things? Remember our definition.
- Love trusts/believes/places faith in others.
- Maybe you can’t trust your husband in this situation. Trust God, believe God, place your faith in God to fight for you.
- This doesn’t mean we are to be naïve, but that we should give others the benefit of the doubt.
- Give your husband the benefit of the doubt.
- Maybe he genuinely thinks this is best.
- Maybe he knows he’s wrong but can’t figure out how to fix it.
- Probably he feels like a failure and wants to save face somehow.
- Give your husband the benefit of the doubt.
- Set suspicion aside and believe.
- Believe that he never intended this to hurt you or your family.
- Give his motives the benefit of the doubt.
- Trust that he never dreamed it would get this bad.
- Use caution, however, to guard your heart against those who have proven they will hurt you.
- Have firm boundaries for repeat offenses.
- God tells us to forgive, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences for actions.
Related Post: How Good Boundaries Provide Hope for a Broken Marriage
Trust God to Catch You
Notice that the hero of these last few points in our marriage challenge is not your husband. Your spouse is human. He fails and falls short just like you fail and fall short. A love that believes all things is a love that makes Jesus the hero of the story.
It doesn’t matter how perfectly you love this 1 Corinthians love, you will still struggle in areas of marriage and your spouse will mess up. This goes right back to knowing your why.
Why are you fighting for your marriage?
Why are you learning how to love like Jesus, be a godly wife, and pray for a godly marriage?
Because God is amazing. When your spouse messes up, know that God will catch you. We are walking by faith here, and when you walk by faith, the God of the Universe shows off.
Related Post: A Wife’s True Story: Knowing The Importance of Forgiveness in Marriage Leads To Blessing
A Miraculous Marriage Story
My husband is an amazing man who loves Jesus, me, and our children. It is no secret, however, that he struggles to stay employed. Mix that in with mental health issues and we live from one struggle to another in this area.
Earlier this year he made a decision to step back to a job situation that was bad. Very quickly his body could not keep up with the demands put on him. But something kept him from doing anything about that.
I shared my concerns. He ignored them. Experience has taught me that if he will not listen to me I must ask God to speak. So I fasted and prayed. I asked others to pray. Nothing changed.
Related Post: How to Fast and Pray In A Way that Pleases God
Hopeless
This month things began to spiral out of control to the point that he wanted to quit work with no job to fall back on. Through much prayer, I began to feel hopeless. The enemy was working a number on us both. I invited others to pray, and Scripture was added to the prayers.
Friday he suddenly shifted his position and chose to stay at the job until he finds another job. It came out of the blue. He had listened to no one and yet this complete change was clearly an act of God.
In the midst of hopelessness, God stepped in to change a heart that was set in stone.
Related Post: 38 Encouraging Bible Verses About Love and Marriage
Hopeful
Until we walk the streets of gold in Heaven, both Bud and I will make mistakes. There will always be something we have to work through that is tough. That’s part of being married to a human – two sinful people living together will have tough seasons.
It is easy to allow my feelings to erase all the memories of God moving in miraculous ways over the years and feel hopeless. Those same feelings try to erase all the good things I know about my spouse. I’ve learned that believing and acting on our emotions is dangerous.
However, the truth is that God is faithful and trustworthy. He promises to draw near to us when we draw near to Him and humble ourselves. That is why we can believe all things in love because God is faithful.
1 Corinthians 13 love is humble love. Yes, I would have been justified to rail at him, freeze him out, even make threats because of his unwise choices. Pride would have justified it. But God blesses the humble. When I clearly communicate and he won’t listen, humility takes the fight to God and lets HIM fight the battle.
Witness
Bud and I don’t hide our struggles. We intentionally share the truth so that it helps others in their journey. What we’ve learned is that when we live out our marriage from this Biblical perspective it is a beautiful witness to a world that desperately needs Jesus.
They desperately need to know God can change any heart. And He can!
And as we shine His light to them through this brave and humble love we each learn and grow in faith! Such a win.
How Can We Bravely Embrace a Love That Believes All Things?
Walking out the end of 1 Corinthians 13 requires us to prayerfully live out Proverbs 3:5-6.
“Trust in the Lord (instead of ourselves) with all your heart (not just part of it), Lean not on your own understanding (instead, pray expecting God to do something unbelievable), In all your ways acknowledge Him, (keep looking to Him and praising Him when He shows up) and He will direct your paths (probably in counter-cultural directions but they will be worth it).” Proverbs 3:5-6 (emphasis mine)
As you bravely and humbly love your spouse remember these 4 steps to live out our phrase, “love believes all things in marriage”:
- Guard against a hard heart
- Believe all things about God.
- Step out in faith to obey.
- Trust Him to catch you.
Do You Need To Go Deeper?
This is part of the 9-week Marriage Bible Study –Finding Hope & Joy in Marriage. Through this course, we will explore the 9 Biblical foundations of having a successful marriage God’s way.
This class will include:
- 10 video lessons
- You can watch live or when you have time
- 9 weeks of personal study
- 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
- A private Facebook Group to discuss the homework and talk through the weekly challenges
- 45 Days of Prayer prompts
in HIS love,
Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children. Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.
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