Waiting on the Lord is emotionally exhausting work. Why? We feel responsible for everything that needs to be done and all the people who need to be cared for and protected while we wait. Anybody else? Today, we will see that to stop growing weary while doing good, we must learn to set godly boundaries!
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What Does Growing Weary Mean?
We know the Bible says, “Do not grow weary in well doing,” but what does that really mean?
If you had asked me what it meant to wait on the Lord even just a year ago, I would have told you it was about:
- Patiently bearing with the painful situation you are facing.
- Holding things together while the Lord seemed to take His precious time.
- Remaining hopeful and staying positive.
- Resisting the urge to complain or make backup plans.
I was growing weary of waiting on the Lord. Yikes.
What Waiting on the Lord Can Feel Like
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9 NKJV)
It was too much for me, and I was so broken by all the people taking advantage of me through the process. They saw my waiting as weakness, my forgiveness as a license to continue hurting me rather than grace to grow. Waiting hurt.
I took up the mandate in Galatians 6:9 with a grin and bear it attitude. I thought that growing weary showed weakness and a lack of faith. It never occurred to me that Galatians 6 was a practical lesson on how to avoid growing weary while waiting.
What is the Word For Grow Weary in Galatians 6?
The Greek word for be weary or grow weary is ἐκκακέω (according to Blueletterbible.org), which means – to be utterly spiritless, exhausted.
When we see growing weary Scripture verses we can read that as saying:
- Do not be grow weary in doing good = do not be exhausted in doing good.
Growing Weary While Waiting on the Lord
How is that possible, if we are meant to bear with everything, hold everything together, stay hopeful, and not complain or make backup plans? It’s impossible!
Clearly, that is NOT what the Apostle Paul intended us to do while waiting on the Lord.
I’ve included Galatians 6 in our study about waiting on the Lord though it doesn’t use those words because it is implied. In it, we will see three things we must do while waiting. Undergirding them, however, we will see a theme that we don’t consider a godly or Christian habit.
- Do not lose heart.
- Keep doing good.
- Fight weariness
All of these things are to be done while setting and enforcing godly boundaries.
Godly Boundaries Stop Us From Growing Weary
That’s right, godly boundaries are a habit the early church would have expected Christians to cultivate. Why? We will go into this in another series because it is SOOOO deep and rich, but let me give you some highlights.
- God sets boundaries (Genesis 2:16-17).
- Limits in the Garden of Eden.
- Jesus set boundaries (Luke 4:42-43).
- He could do anything but chose to only do His Father’s Will.
- The Apostles set boundaries (Acts 6:1-15).
- There was much work to do, but they needed to study and preach.
Now that we see that boundaries are Biblical, let’s look at what Galatians 6 tells us about boundaries and not growing weary while doing good.
First, let’s answer the question, “What good are we to keep doing?”
We know we need to be careful we do not become weary in doing good, but what good? I always assumed we are to do all the things in front of us. Is that what Scripture teaches us? Actually, no, Scripture does not tell us to do everything for everyone.
1. Spiritual Restoration (:1)
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1 NKJV)
Galatians 6 tells us we are to be a part of the spiritual restoration of a brother who has become overtaken in a sin. This would be a sin he once chose, but now he wants to be free from it, but can’t find his way.
How are we to help with spiritual restoration? We are told to do it in a spirit of gentleness and carefulness.
Notice that gently and carefully implies it is not our responsibility to force the change or strong-arm the person to see things our way. They are responsible for the change they need, while we are there to help as we are able.
You are not responsible for restoring them, only for offering accountability (if they want it) and guidance (for as long as they want it and are doing the work).
Boundaries keep you from sinking with them or feeling like a failure when they backslide or turn away.
2. Bear Burdens, Not Loads, To Stop Growing Weary! (:2)
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2 NKJV)
This is the verse I have heard twisted all around to imply that we are to do everything possible to help everyone in our world with every need they have.
Now, did I hear it put exactly that way? Nope, I can’t name the date or preacher who said that… but it was implied often. And I took that like a good little legalist and set off to become a gold medalist at growing wearing in the Lord.
What does this verse actually say?
Related Post: How To Remember God Is in Control: Be Still
Burdens Vs. Loads (:2 & :5)
Let’s define these very different Greek* words to get a better understanding of what our responsibility is and is not as we help restore a brother/ sister or as we do good where we can.
- A burden is a crushing weight.
- A trial we can not endure alone or a temptation we can’t break free from.
The burden relates to the sin that overtook a brother in verse one. It is a weight of personal and eternal significance that is too heavy to carry alone..
We are to share the weight for a time when we are able. We are not taking full responsibility for another’s circumstances or struggles. Instead, we are to help until they are stronger or restored (or until they turn away).
We see a bit later in this chapter that we are called to help and give selflessly, but also to set boundaries. God is not giving permission for us to be taken advantage of if they are not genuine or if they pawn off loads instead of burdens.
- A load is like a backpack.
- Think of this as the daily cares of our lives.
We are NOT called to bear their load, as we will see in a moment. We are each to bear our own daily cares.
Related Post: How to Bear One Another’s Burdens in a Christian Marriage
Boundaries Around Burdens and Loads
Boundaries are about having self-control, not controlling others.
When we begin to take on the role of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others, we are being controlling. This happens when we take on too much responsibility, trying to show them how it’s done or trying to lighten the load so they can more easily grow.
In the end, this does NOT help them grow, while it causes us to grow weary. It feels like a good thing at the time, but in the end, it actually hurts us both.
Boundaries are important because we are called to help others selflessly but wisely.
Related Post: How to Stop Controlling My Husband in a Christian Marriage
3. Examine Yourself To Stop Growing Weary (:3)
“For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Galatians 6:3 NKJV)
Verse three tells us we must examine ourselves. We must know who we are and Whose we are. This humble identity test reminds us that we are not God. We can not take away the loads of others or change their circumstances.
What then can we do?
Remember that you are human. Help where you can but resist the urge to do it all for everyone. That is not what God has called any of us to do!
God has called each of us and gifted each of us. He is at work to grow each of us. We must be careful to not get in His way by taking over His job for anyone.
Related Post: Complete Surrender to God Is Hard: How To Fully Let Go
Boundaries in Marriage
Can I be gut level honest with you for a moment?
This study on waiting on the Lord finds me in the midst of a huge mess in my marriage. Boundaries would have saved me so much weariness and pain.
If only I had examined myself and seen how many loads I was carrying for my husband…
How often I was removing the responsibilities he refused to bear or made me feel guilty for making him bear…
How often I was doing all the things God called him as a husband to do while he was not doing them… because I was… Can you see the cycle.
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4. Examine Your Work (:4)
“But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” (Galatians 6:4 NKJV)
Not only are we to remember who we are and who we are not, we are to examine our works.
What are you doing? Is it in line with your calling? Is it your work to do? Or are you doing too much and getting in God’s way?
Are your motivations pure? Are you thinking of this person as God’s son or daughter who needs a hand for a season? Or are you trying to prove you are better or know more?
Have you surrendered your work and your good deeds to God? Have you sought counsel to know if this is where He wants you or if you are doing too much… again?
We can rejoice in that kind of good when we get it in line with God’s will!!!
Boundaries in Marriage Continued
By bearing every load in my marriage, rather than just the burdens, I was getting in God’s way. I was stopping my husband’s growth.
Sure, I told him they were his and he needed to bear them himself, but I kept bearing them. I needed to set boundaries. By the time I did… there was so much hurt and confusion… and now we are in a crisis.
Is it all my fault?
Absolutely not. At any time, he – fully knowing the calling God placed on him as husband and father – could have made a change. But it is on me to an extent because I was doing too much, bearing too much, and growing weary… giving up…
Growing weary while doing good leads us to give up doing the good... it leads us to exhaustion, making it difficult to keep fighting… it leaves us utterly spiritless… quietly quitting on relationships where God may have more in mind!
We must set boundaries to keep from growing weary!
Growing weary while doing good leads us to give up doing the good… it leads us to exhaustion, making it difficult to keep fighting… it leaves us utterly spiritless… quietly quitting on relationships where God may have more in… Share on X5. Bear Your Own Load (:5)
“For each one shall bear his own load.” (Galatians 6:5 NKJV)
Remember that a burden is a crushing weight, like a trial or temptation, while a load is a small weight, like a backpack where you carry your daily cares of life.
We are told to help bear burdens, but to bear our own loads. This is talking about personal responsibility. Take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Work and pay your bills. Love others well. Take care of your stuff. Take responsibility for the roles and calling God has placed in your life.
Is this the only place we are told to bear our load and do good? Nope!
A Warning Against Idleness
“As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.” (2 Thessalonians 3:13 ESV)
Here again, Paul repeats the command to not grow weary in doing good in relation to the load we are each to bear.
He is talking about doing the work of your daily life in a quiet way that leads to peace in your life and city. He warns against being idle or not working, as we are called. We are told to bear our load, the daily jobs in our personal lives.
He actually takes it a step further and says if someone is not doing their part (and will not be helped to grow) that we are to have nothing to do with them. This is a clear and firm boundary in Scripture.
Related Post: Powerful War Room Prayers for Spiritual Battle
Self Control And Boundaries
What happens when we go beyond bearing the burden of a loved one and begin bearing their load as well? We slip into control, taking on the role of God, but we also enable sin in their lives.
I enable sin. That’s an ugly phrase, but it sits squarely on my shoulders. How about you?
Verse five gives us permission to set boundaries. It ties up any selfish or lazy person from taking advantage of a righteous servant who would help selflessly. Here we are told, “Take responsibility for your mess! Don’t take advantage of or use others!”
Setting boundaries stops us from enabling sin and allows the Lord to do the work of conviction that leads to repentance. Let’s stop getting in His way.
Permission To Let Loved Ones Struggle
So what does that mean practically?
I always understood “be not weary in well doing” to mean that we are called by God to do everything anyone seems to need help doing. I was wrong!
Galatians 6 puts a firm stop to that!
We are not supposed to do or be everything to everybody. Let’s stop doing that!
It’s tough to watch people we love struggle under the weight of their daily load. There are times we feel it is most loving to step in and help them. It is not loving, however, it cripples them from the experience and growth that comes with the struggle.
Parenting Boundaries As An Example
This became evident to me as my children grew. When they were small, it was important to do everything with them, even for them at times. However, as they grow, I had to let them struggle through learning to do things for themselves.
For example, I wanted my kids to learn how to tie their shoes. At some point, after showing them and doing it together many times, I had to step back and let them struggle. I had to let the shoes look messy. I had to let them come untied, a few times. But unless they were injured or sick, I couldn’t tie their shoes for them again.
If I kept tying them and nagging them but never allowing them to struggle through the process, we both would have lost. I would have grown weary and become bitter and unloving. They would have remained immature and resented my nagging and the implication that they still needed their mommy.
Many times it’s painful to set the boundaries and more painful to let loved ones struggle, but growth is on the other side…. tied shoes and all.
Related Post: Kindness is The Fool-Proof Way to Cure Spoiled Kids
Marriage Boundaries
Boundaries in marriage are much more difficult, in my humble opinion. As a wife, I am called to be a helpmeet to my husband, but I can be too helpful and actually stunt his growth. As a wife, I don’t want him to struggle when I could do whatever that thing is, but that causes damage long term.
Just like a kid who never ties their shoe becomes a burden to the family, a spouse who never takes up their normal responsibility burdens a family… so I’ve learned the hard way!
In marriage, a lack of boundaries leads to bitterness and resentment. It destroys the friendship and communication breaks down.
Boundaries, though they are difficult, are the most loving way to live within a Christian marriage.
You were not meant to do everything for your spouse. You are not the Holy Spirit and may be getting in His way of your spouse growing. That is not what you intended or wanted, but it is the consequence of not setting boundaries.
If you, like me, are in that place, begin by asking God to help you see what is yours and what is your spouse’s and how to set boundaries to stop the painful cycle.
Related Post: What Is A Help Meet in The Bible: 4 Ways How To Have Joy
6. Remember That God Sees Everything (:7)
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (Galatians 6:7 NKJV)
Don’t think God didn’t notice them taking advantage of you and hurting you for trying to help and do good! He saw it!
Of all the Bible verses about not growing weary, this one is the most encouraging in this season of my life. We reap what we sow, it says. Such a simple promise.
My heart hurts. I don’t want to keep being hurt or taken advantage of. Those feelings feel wrong, ungodly, and ugly as I write them, but they are real.
We Reap What We Sow
All those times he took advantage rather than seeing the heart behind my bearing too much led to that hurt.
All those times he made me feel bad for all he was carying when it was just his daily load led to the pain.
The pain caused me to be begin growing weary of him…
That is a natural progression… not an ungodly feeling.
NOW, that doesn’t mean we stay in those feelings. No, we can give them to the Lord, set firm boundaries and wait on HIM to bring growth and change.
Who else needs to set boundaries and wait on the Lord in their marriage?
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7. Stop Enabling Sin To Stop Growing Weary (:8)
“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” (Galatians 6:8 NKJV)
Sin leads to corruption, while living in the Spirit leads to everlasting life. This is a simple principle, but when our loved ones are struggling, we forget it.
We whitewash their sin much like we do our own. It’s not a sin, it’s their mess, they were born that way, it’s too hard for them to stop, it’s our fault they did xyz, etc. But most of the time, there is sin at the heart of the loads we are carrying for others.
We are told to do good, to help when we can. However, that command is given without the pressure to carry every burden for those who refuse restoration and just want a free ride. God sees.
Keep doing what He said is your part. Then, fight the urge to control others, or enable them, or put up walls when the enabling causes too much hurt.
Godly boundaries leave changing others and protecting yourself in God’s faithful, capable hands. He will take care of you.
Boundaries let the appropriate weight rest on the right shoulders. Boundaries free you up to do the work God called you to do.
8. Fight Growing Weary (:9)
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9 NKJV)
Setting boundaries allows us to fight growing weary.
When a loved one is pushing off too many burdens, it often is because they are not carrying their load. When they expect us to do everything, boundaries protect us and them by fighting growing weary of them, and the relationship.
Let me say that again: Boundaries protect us and them by fighting growing weary of them, and the relationship.
What good are you to do?
- Help others.
- wisely, gently, stand together against sin.
- Bear burdens together.
- with boundaries.
- Walk in humility and self-examination.
- Take personal responsibility.
- Sow spiritual fruit and fight sin.
We Will Reap A Harvest
Galatians 6:9 comes with a promise. We are to keep doing good, and fight growing weary while we wait on the Lord to move in the lives of our loved ones. Then at the end, it tells us that if we do not grow weary, we will reap a reward.
Who else longs for a reward?
The reward I long for is the growth of the person I love, the person who has so many burdens. I long to see him mature and pursue reconciliation. Does that mean that will be the reward? I can’t say.
Sometimes the reward is personal growth. When we patiently endure and love others while waiting on the Lord we grow and our relationship with God grows.
There are many rewards.
The point is that without boundaries, we will not be able to keep the command, “Do not grow weary and lose heart.” Without boundaries, we will break under the weight of their burdens and ours and their loads and ours. It’s more than one person was ever expected to bear.
What Does The Bible Say About Growing Weary?
Galatians 6 is NOT the only place that tells us not to grow weary. Just for a moment, I want to look at a couple of other verses to finish our time about setting boundaries to fight growing weary while doing good.
This is one of our other waiting on the Lord verses. When we get to the study of it, I’ll link in the devotional.**
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run (the race of life) and not be weary (run without growing weary);
they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31 ESV)
We also see the idea of “do not grow weary for I am with you,” in this verse from Isaiah.
“fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 ESV)
We do not need to grow weary because we have God’s strength living within us! Amen!
Will You Set Boundaries and Stop Growing Weary?
Are you weary right now?
Have you been carrying the burdens and the loads of others who seem… unwilling or unable to step into their God given calling and take the responsibility on themselves?
Me too.
We must start setting godly boundaries to allow the weight to fall where God intends it. When the weight is being born by the right person, growth can happen, and sin can be revealed. It isn’t until sin is revealed that they can even see the need to grow and change.
Boundaries allow that shift.
Boundaries keep us from growing weary and writing off a relationship God may long to restore.
While we wait on the Lord, we must set boundaries not to grow weary. We must keep doing the good He set for us, not the good everyone else should be doing to obey Him.
This is a huge perspective shift for me. How about you?
In HIS Love,
Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children. Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.
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