Honor seems to be a lost virtue in our culture, at least in marriage.
When we think of honoring someone, our minds typically go to important people. People with titles.
A President, a Judge, maybe even a celebrity.
Rarely do we consider our husbands as someone to honor, at least not intentionally.
Last year my husband and I sat down and spoke about the felt needs we were looking for from the other person.
I (Alisa Nicuad)was slightly surprised to find honor at the top of his list.
It’s not a word that we regularly hear.
However, in my pursuit to discover how to honor my husband I found an interesting definition.
To reverence; manifest the highest veneration for, in words and actions; to entertain the most exalted thought of; worship; to adore. (Webstersdictionary.com)
As I began dissecting the definition, I uncovered 5 ways to restore honor in my marriage.
1. Honoring Through Words
I’ll never forget when I saw my husband in action at work. He was doing an event with 25 high level leaders to help them to grow in their leadership skills. As I watched him operate in the gifts God has given him, I was in awe. There was an anointing and a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit that was enabling him to perform at this event.
I have to admit, it was very attractive.
Afterwards I honored him with my words. I told him how amazing it was to see him in his flow and that God’s hand was surely on him.
I don’t always get to see that side of my husband.
However, I can still honor him with my words. There are times when we see God’s hand moving on our husbands and its spectacular.
We’ll naturally want to praise them.
Other times God grace is on them to just get through the day–a little less glamorous and harder to appreciate.
These are the times we can really honor them with our words.
When my husband comes home and he’s had a rough day, I can honor him by speaking life over him. I can communicate appreciation to him and tell him how important he is to our family. Regardless of whether they ask for it or not, our husbands need to hear us honor them with our words.
How can you honor your husband with your words?
2. Honoring through Actions
There are very few things that irritate my husband more than an empty sock and underwear drawer.
I know it sounds petty. But for him, it’s a big deal. He works late sometimes and to wake up early and have to search for socks and underwear, starts his day with a nagging frustration.
Yet I constantly find myself slacking in this area.
When he first brought it up, I honestly thought he was being ridiculous. But the more he’s mentioned it, I realized that I should be doing this.
He’s not asking for anything unreasonable. By not doing this for him, I’m actually not honoring him.
You see, many times the laundry isn’t completed because I’m putting it low on my priority list.
To honor means to assign a value to something.
So when I don’t have the drawers stocked with these items, in essence, I’m expressing to my husband that his needs are not important to me and that whatever I’m doing instead of his request is more important than him.
God has been communicating to me that when I honor my husband, even in these little things, I am honoring Him.
What can you do for your husband to show honor in action?
3. Honoring in our Thoughts
I have to admit….there are times when my husband can aggravate me and I will submit outwardly, but inside I’m telling him off!
There’s one tiny little issue…. God can still hear my thoughts.
He knows that I’m dishonoring my husband. Although I feel like I’ve hidden away the nasty things I’m saying in my mind, God is very aware that they exist.
The problem with allowing these thoughts to take over is that thoughts eventually affect our actions and words.
So how do we control these destructive thoughts and turn our minds to honoring our husbands?
Cast down. Pray. Speak Truth. (2 Corinthians 10:3-6)
Tell that thought to go away in Jesus’ name. Thank God for your husband, asking Him to bless him and ask that He would show you the correct way to respond in the situation. Speak the truth about your husband–He is made in the image and likeness of God and has been appointed by God as the head of your household. (Romans 13:1)
So when we’re irritated with them, we’re still expected to honor them because of the position God has given them in our family.
How can you honor your husband in your thoughts?
4. Honoring by Worship
I have to be honest here….I thought it was a little weird when I read the word worship.
Until I was reminded of Sarah’s endearment to Abraham.
like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 1 Peter 3:6 NIV
Lord is an intimate term of surrender. It’s an honoring word.
Now I’m not saying we have to go around calling our husbands Lord. (Although if you did, it would probably shock the pants off him!)
The key here is this: Honor begins in the heart.
- A worshipful heart towards our husband means we are honoring our husbands through submission and fear of the Lord.
- We are not giving or withholding honor because of how we are treated or how we feel at the moment.
- It means we are honoring our husbands because of God’s sovereign design to place them as the head of our home.
We are honoring them because we worship God as Lord of all.
How can you honor your husband with a worshipful heart?
5. Honoring through Adoration
I’ll never forget the look my boys would give me when I would tell them how handsome, wonderfully created and special they were. Their big eyes would look up at me with a sense of satisfaction and amazement.
They knew I adored them.
This doesn’t change as they get older.
Every man wants to be adored.
Although they may be burly and hard on the outside, they desperately want the affections of their wives.
I’ve always heard that there are two women that have the most impact on a man: His mom and his wife.
This statement has definitely been true for my husband.
When I look into his eyes and communicate how handsome and wonderful he is, I get the same look I got from my boys when they were little.
Communicating honor through adoration, shows the emotional side of our husbands just how loved and cherished they really are.
How can you show your husband honor through adoration?
How do you honor your husband? If you don’t intentionally honor him, how can you plan to start?
Honor is important not just for our husbands, but for us as wives.
When we honor on our husbands, we are obeying God’s commands (1 Peter 3:1), opening up the doors of heaven for blessing to reign down.
Wow, Alisa, that was just what I needed today! Talk about stepping all over my toes – God, not you 😉
We are in a 30 day Series called Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage
Here are the Articles so Far:
Reclaiming Hope and Joy in your Christian Marriage
Three Ways God Works Through Hard Seasons of Marriage
What Submission Looks Like in a Christian Marriage
How To Be a Biblical Wife To an Ungodly Husband
How to Create an Abundantly Fruitful Marriage
The Best Kept Secret Piece of the Marriage Puzzle
The Greatest Gift I Gave My Man
Moving from Lost to Found in Marriage
Perspective in Marriage: Give Us Eyes to See (Part 1)
Finding Joy in Being a HelpMeet to Your Husband
Perspective in Marriage: from Surviving to Thriving (Part 2)
Can You Reclaim Hope & Joy After Betrayal in Marriage?
The Unexpected Path to Happiness in Marriage
3 Ways to Stand Firm in the Battle for Your Marriage
7 Practical Ways to Reclaim Hope and Joy in Your Marriage
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