The Greatest Gift I Gave My Man (#ChristianMarriage #BiblicalMarriage #BiblicalWifehood #RespectYourHusband)

The Greatest Gift I Gave My Man

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I’m a gift giver.
It’s my love language.
I (Natalia Drumm) love to shower gifts on people. I thrive in the hunt of finding or making, the perfect keepsake.

My mind swoons over possibilities, and I find sheer delight in watching a friend open a delicately wrapped gift.

The entire process of gifting has always held a marvel and joy to my soul.

Upon marriage, I found sheer delight in gifting items to my husband, but it took many years for me to learn I had been withholding a most necessary and precious gift to my most loved human.

The Gift of Respect.

You see for years I loved my husband dearly. I held him close and cherished him. All the traits I hoped he would reciprocate to me. Everything I desired for him to do, say, or gift toward me I did toward him. And all I encountered was frustration and resentment. For as much as I loved, my husband’s spirit didn’t respond.

It took years for me to understand the importance of respect in regards to my husband.  Once I became obedient to God’s command in Ephesians 5 it unlocked the most amazing changes in my marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-33… Wives be subjec tot your own husbands, as to the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…  Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife just see to it that she respects her husband.

Giving my husband my respect is an act of obedience to God

In Paul’s teaching on marriage, we find he tells a husband and wife to do two very different things.

  • A wife is to respect her husband
  • A husband is to love his wife.

God is teaching us as married couples to honor our spouse in the language they speak. Women naturally love and hence don’t need to be told to love. Men naturally respect and don’t need to be told to respect.

However, when I move outside of my comfort zone and respect my husband, I do it as an act of obedience to God. There are seasons in marriage where respect for my husband flows easily. I can find all his strengths and speak them out of him.

But we are both sinful fallen people. So there are seasons in a marriage where showing and living respect are harder.  It’s not about whether my husband has been respectable, it’s about showing my respect unto God through my behavior to my husband.

Giving respect to my husband unlocks the emotional areas of my husband’s heart I can’t reach otherwise.

Men are very different emotional creatures than women. Yet so often, as women, we treat our husbands as if they are our girlfriends. We want to have emotionally intimate conversations with them and find ourselves frustrated when we love them yet, they don’t emotionally respond on the level we desire. Respect is the missing link in unlocking our husband’s hearts.

As I responded in respect toward my husband his heart softened toward me.  When I filled his emotional need for respect, he, in turn, began to fill my emotional need for affection and affirmation in the relationship. Conversations became deeper in intimacy as areas of my husband’s heart were shared with me.

Giving the gift of respect to my husband resulted in me receiving his love.

We’ve heard: “it’s more blessed to give than to receive,” but what happens when giving results in receiving? When I started out on my “respect experiment” I assumed it was just that. An experiment. I believed I would give respect a try, find it foolish and return to my normal crazy plans (which had not been working, but it was what I knew.)

Besides, speaking this “respect talk” toward my husband felt awkward and unnatural. However, what I quickly discovered was the power of respect.

You see, respect toward my husband unlocked loved toward me.  As I served my husband with my words and my respect, I found him serving me with love.  In the giving, I found myself receiving.

3 Reasons to Respect Your Husband Biblical Wifehood, Christian Marriage Advice (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage)

I wish I had learned the power of respect earlier on in my marriage.

Many hurts and wounds would have been avoided. At the same time, it’s possible I would not have valued the gift of respect so much had I not known how desperately I needed to learn its power.

Ladies, if there is ever one thing I would encourage you in, it would be to turn your heart and mind toward respect to your husband. Women naturally love

Have you ever thought of Respect as a Gift you can give your Man?  That is a big step toward Biblical Wifehood!  I love that Natalia!  You will want to follow her and her unique voice in the world.  Check out her blog spot at and Join her tribe for an amazing Devotional!

Words of Affirmation (admiration and appreciation) and prayer are 2 of the biggest things that healed our broken Marriage.

I wanted to share a strategy that could be The Best Gift for our Husband!

Love Notes to Appreciate your Husband - words of appreciation cards printable pack Our words have the power to bring life or death in a Christian Marriage. It can be hard to find the right words to encourage our Husband. It's easy to point our the negative, but sometimes we need a little help finding the words to build him up.

Check out these Words of Affirmation Cards in the HopeJoyInChrist Shop, print them out, commit to pray over them and give one per week to your husband for the next year.  You will build him up and create momentum for real change in his life!

Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?  

We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!

We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our Biblical Wifehood.

Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book.  We also have a Private Facebook group to let us connect – Wives only.

Natalia Drumm

Natalia is a lover of Jesus, chocolate chip cookies and cold Coke. She is wife to her high school sweetheart and they raise their three boys in Southwest Florida. Natalia writes for Lifeway as an assignment writer for Journey and seeks to encourage women in their faith to be rooted in the love of Christ. Natalia’s passion is for building community with others as they grow their connection with Jesus, which led her to begin writing a series of devotional study books called Girlfriends in the Word. Learn more about her and subscribe online for free devotionals at

4 thoughts to “The Greatest Gift I Gave My Man”

  1. Love this—> “Giving respect to my husband unlocks the emotional areas of my husband’s heart I can’t reach otherwise” (Natalia Drumm).

  2. What a New way to Learn and Act on, men are so different than females. It makes such sense to try this new approach. I will give this a try and ask God for Patience while doing it.

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