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A Prudent Wife: 3 Qualities of a Wise Woman

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Have you been working hard trying to develop the characteristics of a godly wife?  Along the path, I bet you found Bible Verses about a Prudent wife.  But what is a prudent wife?  If you, like I and many others, have asked that question you are in the right place! Today Jessica Van Roekel will describe three qualities of a wise woman that tell us how to be a prudent wife.

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A Prudent Wife: 3 Qualities of a Wise Woman

Over twenty years ago, I (Jessica Van Roekel) brought heavy baggage and high expectations into my marriage. Since then, I’ve discovered that God uses everything to build a marriage that glorifies him. Our strengths, weaknesses, expectations, and disappointments all work together to show His Greatness in this marriage puzzle.

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He who finds a wife… a prudent wife?

Does Marriage Feel like a puzzle?

When we first married we had differing expectations and ways to solve problems.  We were determined to build our marriage following different “puzzle box tops.” Once we surrendered control to God, we learned that God was creating a new puzzle, a better marriage and two new creations as the two became one flesh.

Over Time God made a lot of changes in my marriage:

  • God threw out the pieces that didn’t fit.
  • He refitted things
  • Tossed new pieces into the puzzle

And waited until we relinquished a cherished puzzle piece to create a beautiful masterpiece – a better marriage – a better wife.  Can you relate?

Are there things you don’t want to give God complete control over in your life and marriage?  Can you feel God trying to mold you into a prudent wife?

The Mystery Puzzle Piece God added did not come from Proverbs 31

You might think God used Proverbs 31 to teach me about how to become a prudent wife but He didn’t.  Good thing too because that might have scared me off more than when He prompted me to write a Proverbs 31 Prayer!

Honestly, when God introduced this Marriage puzzle piece I didn’t grasp the concept at first.  I equated it with becoming a sourpuss old schoolteacher growling at her students.  Waiting to smack them with a ruler at the slightest infraction.

I was utterly mistaken! He showed me how developing prudence in marriage would bless our marriage.

Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

What is A Prudent Wife?

To answer the questions ‘What is a prudent wife?’ we must define a few things.

What does prudent mean?  Webster’s dictionary defines prudent as – acting with or showing care and thought for the future.

I had a jumbled picture in my mind because I pictured a prude.  What is a Prude?  A person who is easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity.

These words seem similar but have little to do with each other.

Now that we know what Prudent means we must clarify something further.

The Biblical definition of prudence

While the world sees prudence as looking to the future the Biblical definition of prudence goes deeper.  The Outline of Biblical Usage shows that sakal is defined as ‘circumspect, wisely understanding, to have insight, to consider, to cause to prosper.

A prudent wife shows many qualities of a wise woman.

  • A wise wife controls her emotions
  • A Prudent Wife understands situations with godly wisdom
  • and a godly wife acts in ways that cause her life and the lives of others to prosper.
A prudent wife shows many qualities of a wise woman who controls her emotions, understands situations with godly wisdom and acts in ways that cause her life and the lives of others to prosper. Click To Tweet

He who finds a wife finds a good thing – Yes, God gives us good gifts

God gives us good gifts in the form of jobs, health, homes, and belongings and each other. As God refines us we become the best possible version of ourselves.   This creates the best possible benefit for each other in marriage.

When we grow and mature we truly become a gift from God to each other.

3 Qualities of a Wise Woman: A Prudent Wife

Have you ever struggled to honor your husband when he makes a decision that you utterly disagree with?

Have you been angry, hurt, and disappointed wishing he was a prudent man?

Several years ago I heard God whisper, “Honor your husband and I will take care of you.”  I retorted, “How can I honor him when he doesn’t listen to my advice?”

The answer to that question is found in prudence.

A prudent wife is discerning, knows when to act, when to speak, is a crown of knowledge, and is perceptive. Click To Tweet

A Prudent Wife understands situations with godly wisdom

We all grow at different paces, in different ways through different seasons.  A prudent wife is discerning, knows when to act, when to speak, is a crown of knowledge, and is perceptive.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house. But the foolish tears it down with her own hands

Which kind of woman are you?  Do you build your house and your husband up?  Or do you tear everything down?

God wants to develop prudence in our lives as we become godly wives – wise women – because it’s far too easy for a woman to railroad her husband.  Yes, as a woman you have so many ways to really tear your husband down when he is looking to you to be his love, his cheerleader.  When you choose to tear him down it destroys his ego and stands in the way of what the Lord wants to do in his husband’s life.  The enemy takes those seeds of doubt and goes to work so fast.

At times, there’s a tendency to take on the spiritually superior role in our marriages. Partly because, as women, we are naturally more intuitive to relationships. I am my husband’s equal, helpmate, partner, and friend in our relationship before Christ,

BUT if I’m not careful, I can stand in the way of the Holy Spirit doing a work in our lives by being prideful in my spiritual walk.  Ouch right?!?!?!?!

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A Prudent Wife is a wise woman – not controlled by emotion.

Prudence has taught me to keep my emotions from controlling my responses.

Let me say that again.  A Prudent wife will keep her emotions from controlling her responses.  A wise woman must think before she speaks (hard right).

As God molds me into this godly wife it has taught me the damage of a rash comment. Just because I may discern a situation does not mean I need to force my husband to do things my way. 

A Prudent Wife is a wise woman - not controlled by emotion. Prudence has taught me to keep my emotions from controlling my responses. Click To Tweet

A Wise Woman: A Prudent Wife acts in ways that cause her life and the lives of others to prosper.

Prudence gives God time to move in our hearts. A Prudent wife waits on God showing this last quality of a wise woman.

As we wait, God develops the quality of prudence in our life. We become strategically placed to be used by God in our marriage in His time and for His purpose.

Every marriage has its own set of issues and tensions.

  • It could be two opposites fighting for dominance
  • Clashing hobbies needing time and money whether there are money issues in marriage or not.
  • Differing histories that lead to different perspectives on what’s important in relationships.

Each partner brings puzzle pieces of their individual lives into a marriage. Both think they know the best way to put the puzzle together. Conflicts ensue, words become weapons, silence kills and even a good wife who nags sometimes creates tension? But when two people zero in on God and make Him their full-time commitment, the finished puzzle picture reflects God to the world around them.

When Marriage is hard.

It takes unshakable determination to survive when marriage is hard.  Mutual surrender of our personal agendas to God is required of a prudent wife when marriage is hard.  It takes work and sacrifices every step of the way. We are continually growing and passing through seasons. God leads us and guides us and calls us to develop the characteristics of a godly wife.

Prudence is one of those qualities. Becoming a Prudent Wife does not dependent on your spouse or your situation. It is something you can work on in the midst of a marital trial, marital bliss or marital mundaneness.

Becoming a Prudent Wife doesn’t feel glamorous, shiny or amazing. It’s not a razzle-dazzle part of the marriage puzzle.  It is the background that a viewer glances over, but don’t really notice.  Prudence is just one of many ways to improve your marriage.

It takes unshakable determination to survive when marriage is hard. Mutual surrender of our personal agendas to God is required of a prudent wife when marriage is hard. Click To Tweet

A Prudent Wife: 3 Qualities of a Wise Woman

But God does say that a prudent wife is a gift from Him, and I like the idea of being a gift.

A prudent wife is a gift from God because she shows the qualities of a wise woman.

  1. A wise wife controls her emotions
  2. A Prudent Wife understands situations with godly wisdom
  3. The godly wife acts in ways that cause her life and the lives of others to prosper.

Let God develop you as an individual and see the mighty things He can do through a surrendered prudent heart.  It’s one of the hardest things to live out, but it produces the most fruit in an individual and a better marriage.

In Him, you will gain a discerning heart, know when to act, when to speak and when to use your perception for his glory and benefit

 

 

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Jessica Van Roekel

Jessica Van Roekel leads worship in her local church and writes at www.welcomegrace.com. She believes that through Christ our personal histories don’t have to define our present or determine our future and that the abundant life in Christ happens in the middle of the mess. Jessica lives in a rural setting surrounded by farmland and her husband and children. You can connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.

12 thoughts to “A Prudent Wife: 3 Qualities of a Wise Woman”

  1. Thank you so much for this post! How important it is that we step back and allow God to work in us and then onto our husbands! “Prudence gives God time to move in our hearts.” Perfectly said! Thank you again.

      1. It is an old fashioned word that I never paid any attention to because it seemed so negative, but then I started seeing it pop up in scripture and God was calling it good. I love the meaning of it now!

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