Assume the Best to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage 31 Ways to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage #assumethebestquotes #assumethebestinpeople #assumethebestintentions #Lookforthegood #JoyInMarriage #MarriageGodsWay #JoyQuotes #JoyScriptures #ChooseJoy #ChristianMarriage #ChristianMarriagequotes #ChristianMarriageadvice #RelationshipQuotes

Assume the Best to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage

Does it ever feel like your husband is the enemy?  Nothing he says makes sense or feels right and you just want to lash out?  Me Too – way too often!  It is easy to assume the worst in him or the situation and react badly.

This month our focus is on Practical Ways to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage.  Rebekah Hargraves from Hargraves Home and Hearth is tackling the issue of Communication and assuming the best today!  I know I needed this!

Proverbs 18:2 A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own opinion.

Is Joy missing in your life?  Need a guide to help get it back?  I’d love to give you this Free 30 Day Reading Guide to help.

When it comes to reclaiming joy in a Christian Marriage, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of cultivating good communication skills with your spouse. This is one of the best tips I have for husbands and wives wanting to grow in intimacy and love because it is from this area of marriage that all other areas flow. The strength or weakness of your marriage will hinge on the quality of your communication.

Assume the Best

One of the best and most impactful things we can do when hoping to reclaim joy in our Christian Marriage is to assume the best about our spouses.

Oftentimes, it is so easy to read into our spouse’s words or actions a vicious or selfish intent when in reality, if we would but take the time to talk through the issue at hand and get to the bottom of what our spouse’s inspiration actually was for what they did, we would find that they did not mean anything hurtful by it.

It is nearly impossible, however, to assume the best about your spouse if you are unwilling to ask questions and come to an understanding of where he is coming from.

There is a Biblical precedent for this in 1 Corinthians 13.  It says Love thinks No evil (Do you remember this from our Word Study?  Click here to dig deeper).

Love Assume good intentions.  Love gives others the benefit of the doubt in other words. 

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Tips for Good Communication

With that in mind, here are some practical tips for cultivating good communication skills in your marriage so that you might be better able to assume the best about him:

Don’t make the mistake of taking your concerns to your husband the moment he walks in the door when the kids are being loud, the house may be a mess, everyone is hungry, and he is most likely going to be a bit distracted. Wait until the house is quieter and the two of you can be alone before diving into the topic at hand.

  • Seek to understand.

Don’t just wait for your chance to respond to what your husband is saying. Actually, focus on his words and listen intently to what he is sharing.

  • Ask for clarification.

Men and women define things in very different ways, so if at any point in your conversation what he is saying is not making sense to you, don’t hesitate to ask questions and seek clarification. This will benefit you both greatly!

  • Don’t take things personally.

Again, men and women are different. Do not take this personally. Do not take your husband’s frustration, a difference of opinion, or differing perspective as a personal affront to you. Engage in the conversation with a level head rather than over-the-top emotion.  Notice when emotion is getting the best of you.  It could be there is something you haven’t forgiven in the past.

Just remember – It’s Worth It to Assume the Best and Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage!

I know the topic of communication can feel like a sticky one with a lot of awkwardness, disagreements, and misunderstandings thrown into the mix. But it’s worth it because you only grow in your communication with your spouse as you practice good communication. Be willing to endure the momentary discomfort for the lasting benefits it will reap in your marriage in the end. Good communication is important and worth whatever it takes to get there!

Need more help getting to a better place with Communication?  Check out the Marriage Communication Mini-Course in the HopejoyInChrist Shop

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Inside the course, you will learn How to Season your Speech and Strengthen Your Marriage in Playful Ways.

Our Words are a sign of what is really happening in our hearts, Learn when to Pray and when to Speak the Truth in Love, Let God filter your words, Find Playful Ways to say things instead of nagging, Replace deadly words and phrases, Learn how to look deeper into your words and recognize what you’ve not forgiven and so much more.

Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?   We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!

We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our Christian Marriage.  Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book. And Be sure to check out the Wives Only FB Group where Christian Wives chose Hope and Joy in every Season


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Rebekah Hargraves

Rebekah Hargraves is a wife, mama of two littles, blogger, podcaster, and author whose passion is to edify, equip, and encourage women in their journey of Biblical womanhood, particularly with an emphasis on the gospel and its implications for everyday life. Rebekah's first book, "Lies Moms Believe (And How the Gospel Refutes Them)" released last fall, and the "Lies Moms Believe" Companion Bible Study comes out March 30, 2018. You can find Rebekah on her website, Hargraves Home and Hearth, on Instagram, or on iTunes via her podcast.

4 thoughts to “Assume the Best to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage”

  1. Assuming the best in our spouse is huge. When we see him as the enemy, it seems like we twist everything to make him look the worst rather than trying to understand where he was coming from when he said a certain thing.

  2. It would help us to rebuild trust and reduce the number of arguments. There are countless times that we argue because I assumed the worst.

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