The #1 Way to Win at Communication in a Christian Marriage FtImg #Communicationquotes #Communicationrelationship #Communicationskills #Communicationinmarriage #MarriageCommunicationTips #ChristianMarriage #BiblicalMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageHelp

The #1 Way to Win at Communication in a Christian Marriage

Is Communication in your Christian Marriage a struggle?  It is for us too.  We disagree, argue, bicker, misunderstand each other, forget to share important details and respond in disrespectful ways all too often.   It feels like we get stuck in a cycle and can’t find our way back to friendly communication in our Christian Marriage.  Can you relate?

We are not alone in this struggle!

The Huffington Post reports “communication problems are cited as the most common factor that leads to divorce (65%), followed by couples’ inability to resolve conflict (43%).

We Need Practical Tools to Improve Communication in a Christian Marriage if we want to avoid divorce!  

The #1 Way to Win at Communication in a Christian Marriage #Communicationquotes #Communicationrelationship #Communicationskills #Communicationinmarriage #MarriageCommunicationTips #ChristianMarriage #BiblicalMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageHelp

I want to add a disclaimer here.  There are things you can learn online and then there are things you need professional help with. 

I don’t say that to shame anyone. 

Things actually got to the point of no return for Bud and me several years ago.  We had let things break down so badly in our marriage that we had no idea how to begin to fix our Marriage.  After much debate, we chose a Christian Counselor and began Marriage Counseling.  

There is no shame in seeking Marriage Counseling!

We went to talk with a counselor every week.  She took us through so exercises that taught us how to talk to each other again.  We both came from divorced dysfunctional families and had no idea how to disagree, or agree for that matter.  It was a turning point in our marriage.  By all means, apply what you learn on this site, but don’t be ashamed to ask for help if things get to that point.

After we learned all those wonderful things in Counseling we still struggled with Communication!  Well isn’t this post full of encouragement!

You see, we are just two sinful people sharing space.  Life get’s hard and complicated and we get irritated and distracted and wound each other.  It happens.  When we are wounded we don’t communicate well.  LOL, when we are distracted with our own things we don’t communicate well.  Can you relate?

Forgiveness was something we had to deal with early on. 

Resentment and bitterness set in so deep I couldn’t see past them.  Forgiveness for marriage things and for so much else from my past.  I’d love to share the pathway God showed me to Forgiveness that led to Freedom!

The #1 Way to Win at Communication in a Christian Marriage

Things began to change a few years ago when I learned this 1 Trick to Communication.  Are you ready?

I should not always say the first thing that pops into my head.  

James 1:19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger

This verse is one I had memorized so long ago and I do take its advice outside the home.  I am the quiet one just listening most of the time.  But at home, I was quick to offer my opinion and criticism.  And my husband was shutting down on me.  We were losing all the ground we had gained through counseling.

Years ago I heard Beth Moore tell the story of talking to God about her marital problems before she talked to her husband.  She tells about going to the car and screaming her head off about all their problems to God first just to let off the steam of the emotion.  That really spoke to me!

Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?  

We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!

We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our Christian Marriage.  Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book. And Be sure to check out the Wives Only FB Group where Christian Wives chose Hope and Joy in every Season

Find a Safe Space to Vent your emotions to God

At the time I didn’t have a car so I chose the bathroom as my safe space.  Anytime I am upset, emotional or feeling like my mouth is about to get me in trouble I go into the bathroom and talk to God.

Some amazing benefits of talking to God about things First:

  1. God becomes my filter
    • Most of what I want to say – in all my emotionalism – is not good, factual or helpful.
    • Letting God filter my words lets me get all that out of my system in safe space (where I will hurt no one’s feelings)
  2. I calm down and can communicate clearly to hubby
    • Talking to God first lets me process my emotion and sort out the facts.
    • When I have the facts and my clear opinion (without the anger) I can have a calm conversation
  3. We usually avoid a fight
    • After the emotion is filtered out we are able to sit down together and talk through the issue.
    • No Fighting.  Everyone wins!

This 1 Trick has saved us from so many fights.  And Y’all it has strengthened my relationship with Christ!  As I grow in that relationship, my marriage is strengthened.  It’s a Win-Win-Win!

If you found it helpful you will enjoy The Marriage Communication Mini-Course

The Marriage Communication Mini Course. 6 easy tools to win the communication battle in a christian marriage #Communicationquotes #Communicationrelationship #Communicationskills #Communicationinmarriage #MarriageCommunicationTips #ChristianMarriage #BiblicalMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #MarriageHelp
Inside the course, you will learn How to Season your Speech and Strengthen Your Marriage Communication in Playful Ways.

There are 6 Easy Tools and Techniques I use and teach to win the Communication Battle in a Christian Marriage:

  • Our Words reveal our hearts
  • Learn when to Pray instead of speak
  • How to Speak the Truth in Love
  • Let God filter your words
  • Find Playful Ways to say things instead of nagging
  • Replace deadly words and phrases

I can’t wait to see you in the Marriage Communication Mini-Course!

in HIM,


Sharing is Caring!

Tiffany Montgomery

Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children.  Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.

12 thoughts to “The #1 Way to Win at Communication in a Christian Marriage”

  1. My bathroom is my safe-space, My husband’s is his car. So many problems can be resolved by refocusing on Jesus. Great post, Tiffany!

  2. Learning to apply the break and passing our thoughts through God first before saying them to our husband is such an important tip in marriage! And it takes continual practice!

  3. I have had to learn to communicate what I really feel instead of covering up in favor of fixing how he feels! In the end, the purpose of communication is to gain understanding instead of the upper hand!

  4. “I should not always say the first thing that pops into my head.” This is something I’ve had to learn, too, as a transparent person. Not everything needs to be said.

  5. I’ve been writing about marriage lately and have been blown away by the messages I have been receiving from women. There are so many out there hurting and wanting help in their relationship and don’t know how. I’m so glad you are creating a space for them.

    1. We need a safe space to just be real about the real things in marriage. It’s a passion God gave me! So glad you are called as well! It’s nice to have company!

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