I, Kelly Baker know an elderly woman who will talk about her husband every time you give her the time of day. He’s no longer living now, and although there’s no bitterness in her voice, I’ve never heard her relay any good words about him. I try to tolerate her joy of telling stories, but when she spews such negativity about him, I’m left feeling yucky. Can you relate?
God knows that negative talk doesn’t edify, so we have some helpful truth to teach us the best way to talk in the Scriptures:
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29 KJV
Speak Words of Death
I’d be lying if I said negative thoughts about my husband never crossed my mind.
What about you? Have you ever had thoughts such as, “My husband will never amount to anything…be a godly man…develop a character I’m proud of…or fill-in-the-blank”?
Where do these suggestions originate? From the devil—who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He wants to steal your faith in God, kill your hopes with negativity, and ultimately destroy your marriage.
If we are going to Reclaim the Joy in our Christian Marriage, the thing we need to ask ourselves is, “Are we going to agree with the devil? Or with God?” God has a way to do marriage. Are we going to do Marriage God’s way or the cultures way?
What we believe will directly affect what comes out of our mouth. There is power in our words.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 18:21 ESV
This verse not only tells us that we speak words of life or death, but that our words are like fruit. Did you know the word “corrupt” in Ephesians 4:29 above means rotten?
Do we want what we say to seem like rotten fruit to others? What effects could rotten words have in our Marriage if left unchecked?
Speak Words of Life
- First, we need to believe what God says in His Word.
We need to be proactive in praying God’s truth over our husband. If it is in God’s word it is in God’s will and that is a powerful prayer!
- Second, we need to speak the reactive truth in response to the devil, our thoughts, and even others when a negative voice is threatening.
See, God has good plans for your husband (John 3:16; Ephesians 2:10).
What we need to do is agree with God’s plan—and pray accordingly. Declare the promises from God’s Word over our husband.
I love to pray my husband has a godly influence, based on Proverbs 31:23:
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
No matter what it looks like now, plant the seed of the Word by praying and speaking it over your husband’s life.
There will always be people in your life who speak words of Death
When Aunt Ruth (who has a beard) says, “Well, we know we can’t count on your husband!” Forgive her, and respond, “My husband is a faithful and diligent man,” because you’re believing Proverbs 28:20 and 12:27.
When the devil whispers a lie about your husband, or you’re tempted to believe what you see instead of what God says, speak words of life over him.
When we Speak words of life we can Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage no matter the season.
What would change in your Marriage if you chose a verse from above to begin praying over your Husband?
Thank you, Kelly, for this powerful reminder to Speak, Believe and Pray words of Life over our Husband! Communication in Marriage can be tricky – we each speak and hear things so differently!
If you need an extra hand with Communication in a Christian Marriage – check out the Marriage Communication Mini-course in the HopeJoyInChrist Shop! This mini-course has quick video lessons, several worksheets and helpful tools to improve your Marriage!
Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment? We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!
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Kelly R. Baker is a Bible study teacher, writer, mentor, and the founder of the Blogger Voices Network She serves with her husband in leading the worship ministry at their church. You will probably find her sneaking a bite (or more) of organic dark chocolate in between wrangling her four kids. Her greatest passion is helping women thrive in Christ. Connect with her at www.kellyrbaker.com.
Thank you for this reminder and for the verses to pray over my husband. Currently, this is a big struggle for me. Negative thoughts are an ongoing spiritual battle in my life.
This is definitely the way the enemy attacks all of us!
You’re welcome, Pam. Remember that verse, “Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world” (1 John 4:4)? There is always a verse that can be prayed to combat any lie or negativity the enemy throws your way. And God’s Word doesn’t return void (Isa. 55:11). I’m so thankful for these truths!
One way we struggle is through poor communication or not making sure the other hears and understands what we are saying.
That is so true!
Right, Beverly. I remember being counseled years ago to say back to my husband, “It sounded like you said ____. But did you mean____?” Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective, sometimes semantics, or other cases the person is struggling to convey thoughts into words. My husband has said that “did you mean ___” part back to me, and I responded, “No! That’s not what I meant at all!” 😉
Almost everything is a struggle right now. We’re working on slowly healing and reconciling.
Praying for you. Reconciliation is a slow messy business but the marriage can be stronger after than it ever was before!