I thought married life would be more than this. I thought it would be full of happiness.
Has that phrase ever crossed your mind or spilled from your lips? I know it has mine.
My pre-marital daydreams featured fairytale moments and sweeping gestures worthy of Romantic Comedy scenes. While I knew that daily life included mundane tasks, monotony, and opportunities for perseverance—those weren’t the realities I focused on. Even further, I couldn’t fathom the loneliness of what I call relationship winters. Those seasons of missed-connection when your marriage can’t seem to rekindle its warmth.
I’m blessed with an incredible godly husband and a happy marriage. But before I get to all the good stuff, please know that I relate to hard times, too. Whether your current wifely experience radiates bliss, or you’re bundled up praying for spring, I bring exciting news.
God has good in store for us and He wants to do good to our marriages.
God makes every promise in Scripture available to His daughters. Things like:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
And I know that the commonly felt desire we describe as “happiness” actually relates to deeper heart needs.
All good things that God wants to give us.
But when it came to my happiness as a wife, I spent too much time focusing on external things I couldn’t change, instead of turning my attention God’s voice, His provision, and His instruction for my life.
I thought the path to marital happiness started with one of two statements:
- If only my husband would …
- If, as a couple, we could …
And right there, I missed the secret.
Yes, there are things a husband can improve upon. And it’s always great when a couple can get on the same page to work on their marriage together. But as wives, sometimes we underestimate a vital way we contribute to our own happiness.
How we live as wives can produce a drastic change in our marriages independent of what our husbands do.
Please hear me, I’m not discounting the role our husband’s play in developing healthy marriages.
But here’s the struggle I found going on in my own mind.
I viewed myself as a strong brave woman—and rightly so.
Resilient. Hard working. Resourceful. Daughter of the King of Kings.
And then it’d come to an issue in my marriage:
- Well, only if Jared fixes that …
- I think I could do better there, but we really need work on this together …
Friend, can I bring some encouragement?
You are daughter of the King of Heaven. You are a strong, brave woman, and your marriage can use a demonstration of that strength through your faith.
God has things He wants to work on in your heart.
- Changes He’s prompting
- New perspectives
- Instruction He’s stirring in your spirit.
He’s here with you, calling you to greater levels of trust and obedience because He wants to show off in your marriage. Will you let Him?
As a fellow strong brave woman, I’ve been walking a new path. A path of Biblical Wifehood.
God’s instruction for me includes:
- Reaffirming my identity in Him instead of in my household role
- Calling me to reject fear and exchange it for faith
- Learning the truth about submission—
- plus a whole bunch more things I’ve still yet to learn.
But I can tell you with more real-life experience than ever—God has an abundance of good in store for our marriages. And as I draw closer to Jesus in my daily life as a wife, I’m truly discovering A Wife’s Secret to Happiness.
Is God prompting you to take on a new perspective about your marriage and the happiness you’d like to experience? I’d love to hear from you and encourage you in this journey.
Want some additional encouragement for your marriage? Click here and sign up to receive 3 months of encouragement just for wives!
Please Note: Abuse is never ok and maltreatment includes untreated substance abuse and mental health issues; unrepentant infidelity; and fiscal, emotional, spiritual, physical, sexual, and verbal cruelty. If you’re in an abusive marriage, your actions alone cannot heal your relationship. Please find support from a Christian counselor or organization that ministers specifically to this need.
What an unexpected treat Jen!
Our Identity certainly should be rooted in Christ as we journey toward Biblical Wifehood and a happy life!
I hope you will check out Jen Weaver on her site – And enter to win a Free Copy of her book below!
We are in a Series called Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage
Reclaiming Hope and Joy in your Christian Marriage
Three Ways God Works Through Hard Seasons of Marriage
What Submission Looks Like in a Christian Marriage
How To Be a Biblical Wife To an Ungodly Husband
How to Create an Abundantly Fruitful Marriage
The Best Kept Secret Piece of the Marriage Puzzle
The Greatest Gift I Gave My Man
Moving from Lost to Found in Marriage
Perspective in Marriage: Give Us Eyes to See (Part 1)
Finding Joy in Being a HelpMeet to Your Husband
Perspective in Marriage: from Surviving to Thriving (Part 2)
Can You Reclaim Hope & Joy After Betrayal in Marriage?
Keep up with all the posts on the Main Biblical Wifehood Page
And Don’t forget to Enter the Ultimate Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage Giveaway!