Most of us – if we are honest – are dreaming of a happily ever after. We expect marriage to lead to that fairy-tale ending in life. Happiness in Marriage is the goal. But what does the Bible say about happiness in marriage? To help us answer that question today is Jen Weaver
Why ask, “What Does the Bible Say About Happiness in Marriage?”
I (Jen Weaver*) thought married life would be more than this. I thought it would be full of happiness.
Has that phrase ever crossed your mind or spilled from your lips? I know it has mine.
My premarital daydreams featured fairy-tale moments and sweeping gestures worthy of Romantic Comedy scenes. While I knew that daily life included mundane tasks, monotony, and opportunities for perseverance—those weren’t the realities I focused on.
Even further, I couldn’t fathom the loneliness of what I call relationship winters. Those seasons of missed-connection when your marriage can’t seem to rekindle its warmth. And as I faced those things I began asking God ‘What does the Bible say about happiness in marriage?’
What does the Bible say about happiness in marriage? Happiness in marriage is about turning my attention to God’s voice, His provision, and His instruction for my life. Click To Tweet
God’s Plan for Marriage
I’m blessed with an incredible godly husband and a happy marriage. But before I get to all the good stuff, please know that I relate to hard times, too. Whether your current wifely experience radiates bliss, or you’re bundled up praying for spring, I bring exciting news.
God has good in store for us and He wants to do good in our marriages.
God makes every promise in Scripture available to His daughters. Things like these Bible verses to save marriage:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
And I know that the commonly felt desire we describe as “happiness” actually relates to deeper heart needs.
Psalm 100:5 For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.
God’s Plan for marriage involves 4 Things:
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Unity
- Ephesians 4:2-3 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
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Security
- Psalm 20:7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, But we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God.
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Safety
- 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
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Love
- 1 Corinthians 16:14 – Let all that you do be done in love
All of those are good things that God wants to give us.
But when it came to my happiness as a wife, I spent too much time focusing on external things I couldn’t change. What does the Bible say about happiness in marriage? Happiness in marriage is about turning my attention to God’s voice, His provision, and His instruction for my life.
God's Plan for marriage - Happiness in Marriage - involves unity, security, safety, and love. Click To TweetHappiness in Marriage through Communication
When we are searching for Happiness in Marriage, often we realize Communication is broken. This Marriage Communication Class contains 10 lessons, teaching 10 Marriage communication exercises to help couples communicate better. Theses are 10 must-know communication skills delivered through 10 lessons, 10 videos, and a printable workbook.
BTW: This post is part of a 31 days Series on Finding Hope For Marriage – Check out the entire series here or grab the posts in this FREE Marriage Devotional!
The wrong path to happiness in marriage
I thought the path to happiness in marriage started with one of two statements:
- If only my husband would …
- If, as a couple, we could …
And right there, I missed the secret.
Yes, there are things a husband can improve upon. And it’s always great when a couple can get on the same page to work on their marriage together. But as wives, sometimes we underestimate a vital way we contribute to our own happiness.
Change in marriage
How we live as wives can produce a drastic change in our marriages independent of what our husbands do.
Please hear me, I’m not discounting the role our husband’s play in developing healthy marriages. But here’s the struggle I found going on in my own mind. I viewed myself as a strong brave woman—and rightly so.
- Resilient.
- Hard-working.
- Resourceful.
- Daughter of the King of Kings.
Proverbs 31:1-12 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
And then it’d come to an issue in my marriage:
- Well, only if Jared fixes that …
- I think I could do better there, but we really need work on this together …
What Does the Bible Say About Happiness in Marriage? Hope & Encouragement
Friend, can I bring you some encouragement about marriage? As we answer the question ‘What does the Bible say about happiness in marriage?’ we see many truths about happiness in Christianity in general that help us in the journey.
You are the daughter of the King of Heaven. You are a strong, brave woman, and your marriage can use a demonstration of that strength through your faith.
God has things He wants to work on in your heart.
- There are changes God is prompting
- God has a new perspective that can make a marriage happy
- There are also instructions He is stirring in your spirit.
God is here with you, calling you to greater levels of trust and obedience because He wants to show off in your Marriage. Will you let Him?
As a fellow strong brave woman, I’ve been walking a new path. A path of that leads to doing marriage God’s way as He develops the Characteristics of a Godly Wife.
God’s instruction for me as a godly wife seeking happiness in marriage include:
- Reaffirming my identity in Him instead of in my household role
- Calling me to reject fear and exchange it for faith
- Learning the truth about submission
- plus a whole bunch more things I’ve still yet to learn.
But I can tell you with more real-life experience than ever—God has an abundance of good in store for our marriages. And as I draw closer to Jesus in my daily life as a
wife, I’m truly discovering A Wife’s Secret to Happiness.
Is God prompting you to take on a new perspective about your marriage and the happiness you’d like to experience? I’d love to hear from you and encourage you in this journey.
Jen is a wife to Jared and mom to Dillon, and is the author of “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness.” ~A millennial female bringing a relatable voice to minister to this often underserved and unreached demographic. She offers a bold voice to commend the truth of God’s Word in a society that promotes relativism, individual truth, and the struggle for power instead of trust in the Lord’s instruction.
If you enjoyed this you would also like these Posts:
- How to Stop Controlling My Husband in a Christian Marriage
- 40-Days to Be Still and Know God More
- How to Fast and Pray in a Way that Pleases God
Thanks so much for your encouragement. I need to look more at myself and towards God and not in trying to fix my husband. Change begins with us.
Amen sister! Me too!
This is so encouraging! How I have struggled with this, especially the last 3 years or so. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I could definitely think more positive thought and focus more on the positive attributes of my husband and marriage to work on making my marriage happier and also not letting my husbands attitude reflect on mine . More Positivity!
Right. It’s so easy to let their negative attitude or frustration with work affect us. Thinking more positive helps everyone be happier.
One of the things that the Lord has taught me, is that marriage is not about me. It is not about my happiness, it is about portraying Christ to this lost and dying world. I wrote a similar post called Marriage Is Not About You.
All so very true Angela. I’d love to read that. Shoot me the link 😉
Love this! I am definitely pinning and sharing!
Thanks, Angela and so nice to meet you!
Just this week I was thinking I needed to receive encouragement in marriage. Sometimes I’m just lazy at putting energy into it. It’s so important to remember God has a higher vision than even we do of our marriage. I’m inspired to ask the Lord for Him to help me see that.
It can be tough to focus on putting energy into our marriage. We are already together and its easy to cruise on autopilot but the enemy likes to slip in when we are not paying attention and cause trouble. Praying over you today as you lean into the Lord and see what He wants there, Amy!