Bitter. Resentful. In denial. Everything I touched seemed to fall apart – just like me – falling apart. Nothing was going right in my life – including my marriage. I knew I should give Forgiveness in Marriage… but honestly, that felt too hard.
We had tried everything to save it, but still, nothing went right. No amount of counseling or reading could close the rift between us. Can you relate?
No little girl dreams of the day she is thinking about divorce… no one writes fairy-tales like that. Yet there I stood, outside the preachers’ office, palms sweating as I thought through how to ask for help.
But God… God always has a plan – though His timing and way’s are so far different than my own. What started as a desperate cry for help soon turned to a deep plea for mercy.
God brought us through a series of crazy life events shortly after meeting with the pastor. He used each event to shine His light on something dark and ugly hidden in my heart.
My Top Reasons Not to give Forgiveness in Marriage
Sin. Choosing to Not Forgive is sin
I always thought of God as a rule-maker… then how I saw God transitioned to a God who was all love, but then I saw a new aspect of God.
There is a side of God that is all justice and vengeance. That hurt done to me did not go unnoticed by the God who is called Ancient of Days.
Romans 12:14-20 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord…
Feelings lie. We all know that, but in the moment when hurt just won’t stop it’s hard to see clearly. The truth is that Forgiveness is not acceptance. To Forgive is just to transfer the ownership of the debt.
Who handles vengeance? God. So when you forgive you are letting God handle that debt of vengeance… and God is more than capable.
Do you need a helping hand along the Pathway to Forgiveness? I’d love to give you this free e-book that shares the journey God took me through to learn how to forgive – actually forgive and move into the freedom of His Love.
Even with that perspective Shift, I held onto 2 Huge Reasons Not to give Forgiveness in Marriage. To read about that and how to forgive your husband in marriage click the READ MORE button below 😉
Today’s article is a Guest Post at Lee Felix spot at LikeMindedMusings. Lee is a Daily redeemed Christ-follower, Wife of 19 yrs, Mom to 5 Treasures, an Unexpected Homeschooler and Avoider of Small Talk. She’s a Faith-Based Blogger + Lifetime Encourager who writes and creates over at Like Minded Musings. Her passion is to Encourage + Equip Christian Women and Tween Girls to Embrace Imperfect & Radiate Christ!
PS. Have we met – face to face or Face to Facebook 😉 ? It was fun to do a Podcast with Lee – talking about Marriage and what started us on this Journey of Online Women’s Ministry. Check it out below!
Today’s article is an excerpt from the Marriage Course Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage. This self-paced course is for Wives Only -teaching us to live in our Marriage from a Biblical Worldview.
The Course is laid out in 9 Modules with a Video Lesson to introduce the topic and a downloadable workbook.
- Inside the workbook are 5 days of work for you to do – just you and God.
We will walk through the topics of:
- That is deeper than lip service
- Desires Vs. Preferences
- And how they war
- My Mouth
- Why & How we can tame it
- Appreciation & Admiration
- The best ways to use our words to create momentum in our Marriage.
- The Leader
- Who is it and how do we actually make that a reality.
- Understanding Men
- What does this really mean and how can we accomplish it?
- Setting them to make the best Future for our Marriage
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