We used to rock date nights. You know, before we jumped on the marriage train. That’s usually how it goes, right? You meet someone, you get curious about them, you start learning, talking, observing, and getting to know them. Eventually, you both decided your friendship is more than a friendship and you decide to treat it as such.
How to Make Date Night A Reality In a Christian Marriage
We had some pretty amazing dates. It wasn’t uncommon for us to end up on a new hiking trail or to find a new inlet view while chasing the sunset. We could spend hours playing cards games, writing music, or just enjoying each others company. It didn’t always have to be a big production. It was those moments invested in each other that kept the “fire burning,” as they say.
And then we got married, and without even realizing it, things changed.
We found ourselves battling for each other’s time. We could make time for work, hobbies, our friends, our kids, and even ourselves. But we struggled to make time for us; time for our marriage. Can You Relate?
Now, don’t get me wrong. We loved each other and even missed each other. It wasn’t hard for us to admit there was a disconnect somewhere. But acknowledging a problem isn’t the same as doing something about it.
If we wanted to get back to that place where we were thriving as a couple, we were going to have to make some adjustments. We realized we needed to start saying no the things that consumed our time and yes to more of the opportunities that gave us time together. To put it simply, we decided to start dating again.
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How to Let Date Night Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage
Our date nights don’t look like the average couple’s. They don’t cost exuberant amounts of money, and to be honest most of them don’t even require us to leave the house (as a mom of three boys, I truly appreciate that perk). All we need is a little creativity and each other.
For us, it’s as simple as choosing one night of the week – every week – to be exclusively our time. And we have fun together (Here are 10 Fun ideas to get you started)! Because our marriage is our first priority as a couple we plan our days around our quality time together.
Some days we just talk, while others we get a bit artsy. We might watch a movie or have a late night dinner in the kitchen. The possibilities are endless. And it’s not so much about what we do, but more the fact that we are doing them together; that we’re making time for each other just like we used to do in the good old days of dating.
Sometimes you have to go back and master the basics before you can grow beyond them.
Sometimes things are too hard and you need more help to get to a good place in Marriage. If that’s you, Check out the Marriage course Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage in the HopeJoyInChrist Shop!
How often do you spend quality time with your husband? What are some of the ways you enjoy spending your time together? Share your answers and ideas in the comments! I’m excited to hear from you!
Is Joy missing in your life? Need a guide to help get it back? I’d love to give you this Free 30 Day Reading Guide to help.
Love & Blessings
Hi, I’m Alonda. I also go by Lo Tanner. I’m an Alaska-grown wife and mama with an ever growing love for Jesus, books, and sparkling cider. I love serving the world by creating free education and resources that inspire women to embrace their God-given identity and help them live faith-filled, purpose-driven lives. When I’m not busy typing up a storm you can find me relaxing, either park side or riverside, with my four main men (my husband and our boys).
As a Christian writer and author, I’ve been featured in Tiffany Montgomery’s 31 Days to Reclaiming Your Marriage as well as on Christian Living Blogs such as True Agape, Grey Ministries, Her Sword, and Rosevine Cottage Girls.