My daughter looked at me with a surprised and confused expression. “What do you mean you don’t really care about golf?” We were having a discussion with a friend of mine and I (Marietta) mentioned that though I really didn’t care about golf, I frequently watched it with my husband. My daughter couldn’t understand why in the world I would do that. My answer was simple. I love my husband and the shared experiences of golf helped Reclaim joy in our Christian Marriage.
Psalm 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Is Joy missing in your life? Need a guide to help get it back? I’d love to give you this Free 30 Day Reading Guide to help.
Golf Stole the Joy in our Christian Marriage
My husband started golfing many years ago. He began spending more time on the weekend golfing and watching it on television. I resented this new time thief. Golf might have been for him, but it wasn’t for me. Or was it? Is there something like that in your Marriage?
I could whine about it or find a way to positively deal with it.
I chose to turn it into a positive. So I started watching him a little bit each weekend, eventually graduating to watching entire tournaments. I learned about scoring, clubs and who the major players were. While I have yet to hit the golf course myself, I have found a way to make golf a “we” thing instead of a “him” thing.
There is Connection power in Shared Experiences in Marriage
It is too easy to drift apart in marriage. He has his things, she has her things that after a few years they have nothing in common! No shared interests, few shared memories to look back on. How can we fight against this? Find a way to make Peace and Connect
Romans 14:19 So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.
If we want more joy in our marriage, cultivate shared experiences, interests, and hobbies.
By engaging in activities with each other, you create shared memories and opportunities to communicate and relate. That sounds easier said than done. How do we actually do that when we don’t really enjoy the things the other enjoys? There are 6 Quick tips that helped me!
How to Create Shared Experiences & Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage
- Ask your spouse if they mind you joining them in a particular activity. Hint: Try not to bombard them with a lot of questions in the beginning, unless they really like explaining things.
- Invite your spouse along on an activity you enjoy. Make sure it’s something you think he could tolerate doing more than once because you’ll want him to accept another invite!
- Be sure to talk while you’re enjoying this time together (unless it’s fishing or hunting). The conversation can be about anything. Don’t force it, but be intentional.
- You don’t need to do a formal “debrief”, but be sure to share what you enjoyed about the experience.
- Plan the next time you’ll have a shared experience so you can start being consistent with it. But remember, it’s okay to be spontaneous too!
- Mark your shared times on a calendar or in your planner. Whenever you need a reminder of what joy looks like in your marriage, page back through and recall those good times.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
To help you plan and remember, I’m gifting you with a calendar for the remainder of the year. Each month includes an inspirational quote or verse related to Christian marriage. Have fun reclaiming your joy!
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Marietta (Mari) Taylor is an author and speaker who loves to help women learn to READ the Word, BELIEVE the Word and DO what it says. She has been a contributing author to Penned From The Heart Vol XV and the 2014 and 2015 editions. Marietta is the author of Surviving Unemployment:Devotions to Go. She currently lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and their two daughters.