A few years ago after a difficult season of marriage, a strange and lovely question began turning in my mind. How can I have a healthy marriage? Yes. It is possible for a marriage that was filled with marital troubles to rebuild a solid marriage foundation and be a fruitful marriage. What comes to mind when you hear the phrase ‘Create a Fruitful Marriage‘? I tend to think of a couple with many children or a marriage relationship with no financial struggles. Today Mrs. Lo Tanner is going to share 6 tips we can apply today to create a fruitful marriage relationship.
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Use These 6 Tips to Create A Fruitful Marriage Relationship
Do you ever think about what it takes to build a fruitful marriage?
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10 NASB)
While scrolling through Facebook I (Lo Tanner) saw a page promoting aid for married couples. It encouraged a weekly check-in. You would set aside one night a week to intentionally check in together. Making your marriage and communication within your marriage a priority.
Cool idea, right? Life gets busy and if we don’t have checks in place it’s easy to push things that should be a priority to the back of our minds. It’s really easy to be complacent and start letting go of things that you should be holding onto. Have you ever struggled with that?
Why don’t we intentionally invest in marriage? Most of us are content to just wing it and hope things work out well.
The Problem With “Just Winging It” in Marriage is we don’t understand a true fruitful marriage meaning
As I wonder how to create an abundantly fruitful marriage I was convicted about how many times I have lost sight of priorities and begun to just wing it in marriage. How about you?
It amazes me how willing we are to spend our time, money, and resources mastering things that have no eternal significance. Things that were never meant to be the meat of our lives. We spend thousands of dollars on hobbies, education, and material things. Devote time developing friendships, and pursuing entertainment and personal interest.
But we just wing when it comes to marriage. Why do you just wing it? You don’t understand what it means – the true fruitful marriage meaning.
- The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy what? Anything and everything that reflects God’s love to the lost world. That includes your marriage.
- But God comes to give life – abundant life. That includes your marriage. Your marriage can be filled with abundant life – fruit overflowing to show God’s love to everyone around you!
We should be equipping ourselves for the next season of marriage. It takes a unique skill set to have a fruitful marriage. The problem is that most of us feel we shouldn’t have to try and if for some reason we can’t figure it out on our own, we’ve failed. Divorce is the only option…
You know, I don’t have the perfect marriage and I’m certainly not an “expert” on the matter. But I can tell you this much.
There is little reward in complacency.
Y’all, believe it or not, marriage DOES take work.
A fruitful marriage DOES require certain skills.
A solid marriage foundation requires an investment in your marriage. It is not enough to know and understand the fruitful meaning, you must become a student of your spouse. Your marriage is one of the greatest things in this life you could invest in. The truth is we give out best to the things we value most in this life.
Marriage belongs on the top of that list.
What are the 6 Tips for Creating A Fruitful Marriage Relationship?
Now that you understand the meaning of a fruitful marriage I’ll share the 6 tips that have helped my marriage become the best one it could be. We are far from perfect but using these 6 marriage relationship tips we have built a strong marriage foundation! You can do the same!
1. Put God First to create a Fruitful Marriage.
When you put God first in your marriage you create a fruitful marriage. It works like this Marriage Triangle. This is the concept: the closer the husband and wife move toward God the closer they become.
When you move them down the sides of the triangle away from Christ the distance between them grows. When one is following Christ and the other is not, the distance between them is pretty grand as well.
If you want to experience marriage the way God intended, you and your husband must pursue God together;
When you both have a relationship with Him and are committed to living a life that honors Him. Many times I find there are so many struggles because of an unequally yoked marriage. If that is your situation, you are saved but he is lost, you are mature but he is struggling in his faith Take Hope. Even when one of you are struggling with faith, if you are moving toward God He will honor that and shower your marriage with blessings.
Are you struggling with putting God first in your marriage? Don’t worry, the next three tips can help you.
2. Be the wife that covers her husband in prayer.
Your husband may not say, feel, or know this; but He needs you to intercede for him in prayer. He needs God to walk with him as he leads you. Yes, he needs this intercession to be proactive, to come BEFORE hardship, temptation, and deception have the opportunity to sneak into his life.
If you don’t know where or how to start praying for your husband, Check out this Series on Praying for your husband to get you started.
A praying wife lays a solid marriage foundation that leads to a fruitful marriage.
3. Don’t struggle alone
Find a core group of women who can support you in your walk with God through every season of Marriage. Check out Hope Joy in Christ’s Private FB group for Christian Wives Choosing Hope and Joy through every Season of Marriage. This could be a woman’s group at church, a trusted friend or two, or a mentor.
Having these forms of relationship in our life helps keep us encouraged, and accountable, and most importantly they keep us growing in our faith and relationship with God.
King Solomon hints at the importance of godly friendships
“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NASB)
You may find a great bible study for couples and try to work through that together with your husband as well. The only struggle I have with those daily bible studies for couples is that men tend not to enjoy them as well. Some men do, I don’t mean to generalize, but most men connect with God differently than women. That is why I highly recommend studying the word with other women!
God often starts working on the spouse who is willing… even if you think your husband is the one who needs to change.
God Change Me First?
In her eBook ‘God, Change Me First Devotional‘ Lo will share her personal experience with God changing her. She says:
Invite God to search your heart, shape your life, and equip you to be a light in this world through this 14-day devotional for women. “God, Change Me. First.”
4. Learn How to Communicate.
There isn’t necessarily one “right way” to communicate within a marriage. However, there are tools that can help you understand your spouse. You can then better connect with your spouse based on their personality type and their love language. Need help learning to better communicate? One of my favorite books, Keep Your Love On (KYLO) covers several topics:
- How to communicate respectfully during a conflict.
- Setting boundaries to protect your marriage
- Help when you are having a hard time effectively communicating with each other
You could also check out Hope Joy in Christ’s Mini-Workshop on Improving Communication In Marriage.
5. Nurture Your Friendship.
More often than not, it’s the friendship between a husband and wife that is wounded before the marriage is.
Nurture your friendship. Friendship is one of the characteristics of a strong marriage – a fruitful marriage!
Be intentional about spending time together outside of marriage-related tasks.
- Have fun!
- Go on dates!
- Make big moments out of small opportunities.
I’m a mom of three, and my husband is the main provider for our family. Busy is normal for us. We have had to learn over time that we can’t neglect our friendship. We HAVE to make time for each other. Even if we don’t leave the house we can create special moments at home. Check out these 52 inexpensive at-home date nights.More often than not, it's the friendship between a husband and wife that is wounded before the marriage is. Nurture your friendship. Friendship is one of the characteristics of a strong marriage - a fruitful marriage! Be… Click To Tweet
6. Be a Student Of Your Spouse.
Don’t ever think you know it all when it comes to your spouse. There is always something new to discover if you’re on the lookout for it.
- Do you know your spouse’s love language?
- Are you putting his love languages to practice, showing him love in the way(s) that he best receives it?
- Have you talked about the things he values?
- Do you take an interest in the things he enjoys?
- Do you know how to make him laugh?
- What’s the one thing he could talk about for hours every time you mentioned it without fail?
Build A Solid Marriage Foundation when you Create a Fruitful Marriage Relationship
Now listen, I’m not saying that there won’t be tough days because I know there will be. But even then, in following the tips above you can create a STRONG foundation for your marriage.
- One that can endure hard times.
- Withstand the turbulence that comes with loving imperfect people in an imperfect world.
Your faithfulness will create an atmosphere where your marriage and friendship can flourish.
Foolish? No, my friend. When you take the time to honor your spouse and invest in your marriage, you build the skills necessary to keep your marriage fruitful. You show that you are among the wise, yes even that you are a Prudent Wife. You have a heart of excellence.
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband. But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4 NASB)
Today I want to challenge you. What steps are you going to take to start building a fruitful marriage relationship? I’d love to hear from you! Comment below and share your ideas!
Hi, I’m Alonda. I also go by Lo Tanner. I’m an Alaska-grown wife and mama with an ever growing love for Jesus, books, and sparkling cider. I love serving the world by creating free education and resources that inspire women to embrace their God-given identity and help them live faith-filled, purpose-driven lives. When I’m not busy typing up a storm you can find me relaxing, either park side or riverside, with my four main men (my husband and our boys).
As a Christian writer and author, I’ve been featured in Tiffany Montgomery’s 31 Days to Reclaiming Your Marriage as well as on Christian Living Blogs such as True Agape, Grey Ministries, Her Sword, and Rosevine Cottage Girls.
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27 thoughts to “6 Tips to Create A Fruitful Marriage Relationship”
What an excellent reminder of the importance of growing fruit in our marriage! The day to day can easily take us over. Thank you for the practical steps and areas to focus on 🙂
Thanks Lee for stopping in and reading!
Thank you for this. Thats all I can say. You most definitely have made this into something thats eye opening and important. You clearly know so much about the subject, youve covered so many bases. Great stuff from this part of the internet.
“If you want to experience marriage the way God intended, you and your husband must pursue God together.” I’ve always loved the triangle model where you get closer and have more unity as you draw closer to God.
It is SO true that we seem to think we shouldn’t have to work at it! This post has excellent encouragement and practical tips. Thanks for challenging us in a good way to prioritize our marriage and be intentional about developing a healthier relationship with our spouse!
Exactly that Jana!
I hope to one day put all of these to use when my husband comes home. I’ve slacked a lot lately in my relationship with God and can definitely tell in regards to my attitude. Lord please open healthy Communication between my husband and I. 🙏🏻
I know I need to cover my husband more in prayer!
This is something we could all use more of for sure Beverly!
Good tips. Thanks!
So glad they blessed you.
I love these tips. We are days away from being empty nesters. As much as I’ll miss my kids so much, I’m looking forward to rebuilding the “us” time that’s been lacking for a while.
what a beautiful new adventure Wendy! Praying that as you rebuild and rekindle, there are blessings to overflow in your love!
My husband and I are both religious and spiritual people and sharing the same values and morals definetly makes your marriage a happy and strong one.
Yes, common values and morals go a long way for sure.
What a wonderful reminder so lovely lady!!
So glad it blessed you, Bella.
All of these are so important. Recently, I’ve really seen the blessing and necessity of number 3!
I love how that happens, we see things from a new light and make changes… all growing bit by bit.
I really love how you highlighted “don’t struggle alone.” Having supportive friends can be such an incredible resource.
Yes it really can be a game changer, Christa.
When my husband and I are in growth groups together and work on our relationship with God as a couple our marriage is so much better.
Love that. I’ve never heard of a growth group. Sounds so wonderful.
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