Has the newness of marriage worn off in your relationship? We all start out with a heart filled with hope and joy about marriage. Then life comes at us with unexpected pressure and responsibility and somehow hope disappears. Suddenly you are asking: How can I make my marriage better? If that sounds like you, grab a cup of coffee and get comfy. Today Lee Felix will share 7 practical ways to reclaim hope for your marriage.
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7 Practical Ways to Reclaim Hope for Your Marriage
It’s no surprise that traditional marriage is under attack. We see it in the statistics, the media, with our circle of friends and in our own Marriages. When something is being attacked, there are two choices. We either sit still or choose to fight back.
If you are reading this, you are a fighter. And that my friend is good news!
Fighting to reclaim hope and joy in marriage requires a strategy. We need to be intentional in our steps and deliberate in our actions. I know it doesn’t sound romantic, but I promise there is so much beautiful fruit in it!
Today let’s look at 7 practical ways to reclaim hope for your marriage!
1. Pray For Your Marriage
Friends we have to start with prayer. Just as Paul encouraged the Ephesians to use prayer as a weapon in spiritual battles we should too! Become a Prayer Warrior Wife!
praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints. Ephesians 6:18
Praying for our hearts, our husbands and our marriages helps keep our focus on truth and gives us His strength. When dealing with each other’s sinful human nature day in and day out is there any other way?
God can lead, guide and encourage us in prayer. He is so gracious and compassionate when we turn to Him with our hurts and frustrations.
How do I make my marriage better? Praying without out ceasing is necessary to reclaim hope for your marriage.
How do I make my marriage better? Praying without out ceasing is necessary to reclaim hope for your marriage. Share on X
2. Prefer Him
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
What does it mean to prefer our husbands?
Prefer: to like better or best: to give priority
If we are going to prefer our husbands we give him a place of priority in our lives right after our relationship with the Lord of course 🙂
It can be so hard when we have the kids, your home, homeschool, work or ministry pulling you in all directions! But this is a battle, right? You can intentionally choose to do the little things to put him first to reclaim hope for your marriage!
Here are some married life tips to help you start:
- Greet him when he comes home.
- Teach the kids to wait patiently if you are in a conversation with him. Teach them to honor their Father in all.
- Schedule a date together {if this season is a crazy mess read this}
- Prioritize intimacy
- Put down your phone
- Pray together
3. Be a Student of Your Husband
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works. Hebrews 10:24
Remember when you first met your husband? When there was so much to learn and you were genuinely interested in the stories he told? You asked questions, tried different things and learned all about him! That can’t just stop there. No matter how many years you have put in your marriage you can still learn about your husband. Pay attention to his new interests and hobbies and ask him questions about them. Or, learn more about or join him in his old ones! This is how to revive a stale marriage infuse happiness in marriage again!
Spend time really listening to him better. Understand his pain points. This will help you in the next area I will share 🙂
Study his love languages and learn ideas of how to speak it. The longer you’re married the more opportunity you have to get to know his heart and his preferences. This can give you great insight into how to pray for him and how to encourage him! I promise the hard work will go a long way in helping reclaim hope for your marriage!
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4. Show Your Husband Respect
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
It is incredibly important we learn how to respect our husbands, so many things flow from it. We can choose to respect our husbands even when we don’t feel like it, or when they don’t even deserve it!
Affirming his decisions with “I respect that you...” is never a wrong way to go. They don’t hear it enough and it is something they all crave.
You can show him respect by honoring him in front of the kids, by speaking well of him to others or by looking for the good things he does when you are completely frustrated with something he’s not doing! (Here are more ideas to help you speak words of affirmation to your husband*)
And of course in taking all to prayer and not nagging. It’s amazing what God can do in their hearts when we get out of the way! There is even hope for a broken marriage when you begin to infuse respect back into the relationship!
It's amazing what God can do in their hearts when we get out of the way! There is even hope for a broken marriage when you begin to infuse respect back into the relationship! Share on X5. Serve Him
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
It’s very likely you’re thinking “I already serve my husband”. That is probably true! But in the day to day caretaking, helping and homemaking, have you taken time out to notice how he likes to be served?
What about serving his favorite meal, having coffee ready in the morning or packing him a lunch (with a love note of course*).
Or maybe he has a different preference in prioritizing cleanliness. Let’s say you need a clean kitchen and he really prefers the living room picked up so he can sit down and relax after work. If you are having one of those days, and can only do one of those what will you choose?
It would serve him better to clean up the living room. There are many possibilities to serve our husbands in a unique and personalized way.
Oh yes, and serving him in prayer by asking how you can pray for him is the best form of service I can think of to help reclaim hope for your marriage!
Oh yes, and serving him in prayer by asking how you can pray for him is the best form of service I can think of to help reclaim hope for your marriage! Share on X6. Encourage Your Husband
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
We all need encouragement, don’t we?! What better place for our husbands to be built up than at home by their wives. If you are struggling for ideas Pinterest is great for this! Here are just a few of the “regulars” I use:
Marriage Help to Encourage Your Husband
- Speak kind words.
- Praise his character in a sincere way.
- Notice the little things and say thank you.
- Send encouraging texts.
- Leave random love notes.
- Speak his love language.
A little bit of encouragement can go a long way to restore hope for your marriage. Pay attention and be intentional. It will bless both you and him!
A little bit of encouragement can go a long way to restore hope for your marriage. Pay attention and be intentional. It will bless both you and him! Share on X7. Love Him
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
Love him. All the ways above speak to this. Yes, we know we should show our husbands love. Showing love is a characteristic of a godly wife.
But we have to continue to choose love. We are not promised that marriage will go as we plan or even hope. There are certainly going to be days (or much longer) where we don’t feel loved or feel like loving them. At times, we have had to choose to love each other even though we didn’t like each other. We must to the hard heart work to continue to choose to love, through heartache and pain.
But here is where the beauty lies. When we choose to love them anyway, with God’s kind of agape love, we take our marriage to a whole other level.
Agape love is unconditional, selfless and doesn’t change. It is a choice first, an act of the will. It is not based on emotions. When we continually choose to love our husbands- no matter their response to us, we are reflecting the love of God given to us!
We can rest in God’s love. Feel peace despite the turmoil in our marriages. We can trust that God is working all things out for those who love him. This kind of love is the love that will help us to reclaim the hope and joy in our marriage!
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Which of these 7 ways to reclaim hope for your marriage will you try today?
I’ve created a set of bookmarks to help us remember these 7 Practical ways to reclaim hope for your marriage.
You can sign up here and download them! Place them in your Bible or Prayer Journal to refer to for encouragement to keep fighting for Hope and Joy in Your Marriage!
It’s your turn! I would love to hear what practical ways you reclaim hope in your marriage!
- Pray for your marriage
- Prefer him
- Be a student of your husband
- Show your husband respect
- Serve him
- Encourage your husband
- Love him
Share in the comments below!
Talk to you soon!
Lee Felix of Like Minded Musings is a Faith-Based Blogger, Lifetime Encourager, and Avoider of Smalltalk. She’s Redeemed Daily by Christ, a Wife of 19 yrs, Mom to 5 Treasures and Unexpected Homeschooler. She would love to encourage you in the journey through imperfect yet intentional parenting in her private Facebook Community. Lee has a Passion to Encourage and Equip Christian Women and Tweens to Embrace the Imperfect and Radiate Christ!
If you enjoyed this you will like these posts:
- Respect will Improve Communication in Marriage
- How Good Boundaries Provide Hope for a Broken Marriage
- Apply 1 Corinthians 13 to Marriage
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I think “prefer him” is the one that is often neglected by me. I tend to be so busy with the kids that my husband does not get my attention until they are in bed and by that time I am too exhausted to have a conversation. A wonderful post full of practical and Biblical advice!
LOL, Heather. I can so relate. It def takes intentionality to prefer him and make sure he knows he is preferred ;).
These are all great reminders to me- and all my children are grown! We celebrated 31 years of marriage this year. I have a (much) older friend, and her marriage is miserable. I don’t want to end up bickering like “old married folks.” I’m especially convicted to listen to him better and choosing to love him “anyway.” Marriage is a life long work in progress!
That’s so true, marriage is a life long work in progress. That’s good to remember when we think of investing in the future.
Thank you so much for this post! My husband and I have been working so hard to reclaim the joy in our marriage. I am so grateful that God tells us exactly how. We just have to decide to walk in obedience.
Exactly Erin!
Thank you so much for this post! The 7 Practical Ways to Reclaim Hope for Your Marriage is true biblical points. God’s word gives the direction for us to love and treat our husbands well, the key is for us to follow it. I am so guilty of not giving my husband the attention he deserves. Working full time, life, keeping my Blog going also pulls me in so many different directions. Thanks for the reminders in this post. Well done.
Yes, Angie, Lee really hit the nails on their heads in this post! It both encouraged and corrected me in so many ways!
I like the reminder to look for your spouse’s pain points. Often they’re the same thing over and over, just presenting itself in different ways over the years. Intentionally seeking to show support and pray over that need is huge in putting hope in your marriage!
Yes, it really is often the same issues over and over and when we cover that in prayer God can move in powerful Ways!