“Well that didn’t go well” my oldest girl proclaimed.
She was right. Sadly it was mostly Mom and Dad’s attitude that was at fault.
After nearly 20 years of marriage, that night we still managed to create what we now call the “s’more fiasco”. A time that was supposed to be about enjoying our family, was instead spent snapping at each other, in front of our children none the less. And yes, it was all about …. s’mores.
But not really.
It ran deeper than a fight over s’mores.
Now I see clearly that I didn’t listen to his requests or respect his input on how to handle the setup. Instead, I steamrolled over his ideas and did it “my way”. When my way didn’t work, he felt angry and frustrated and became short and snappy. As you can probably guess, my sinful heart got the best of me. I let nothing go and snapped right back. There we went – back and forth until we called the whole thing off.
Is Joy missing in your life? Need a guide to help get it back? I’d love to give you this Free 30 Day Reading Guide to help.
But it was more than frustration, lack of respect, and anger – it was lack of joy.
We were coming off a long busy season and the joy in our Christian Marriage had slowly vanished. At that time, just keeping it together was the goal, not fighting for joy. I realized that as ridiculous as it sounds, the joy we had left in our Marriage was in fact stolen by s’mores that day.
Because we were lacking joy we were fighting each other instead of the enemy.
Joy in Christian Marriage acts as a buffer when the hard or mundane in life hits. We had not been intentional in cultivating joy and what was left was anything but. Can you relate?
Is the joy in your Christian Marriage gone and you are left feeling apathetic? Or worse, you’re bitter, angry and resentful. Being intentional to Fight to Reclaim joy in your Marriage is a great place to start.
You have a choice in the fight to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage.
You can choose joy despite hard and mundane circumstances or you can let it go and continue on the same path you were on. I know. I have done both. And you’re guessing right that one way is better than the other 🙂
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. 1 Peter 1:6-8
Sometimes I have to battle my flesh hard to pursue joy, to choose to be kind, bless and encourage my husband instead of what I want to say or do. It’s not easy. But it is necessary and actually a blessing to set our flesh aside and do things God’s way.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:1-4
When you bless your husband you Fight for Joy in your Marriage!
When you bless your husband, it, in turn, blesses you! We don’t do it to get something back in return, we do it to be obedient to God. But God is so faithful and so gracious that He blesses you as you bless others (even that husband who is not on your nice list right now 🙂 ) I know it sounds cliche but it’s so true.
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9
Asking God through prayer to show you how to bless others (starting with your Husband first) is truly life-changing. It’s not always easy to think of ways to bless your husband and Fight for joy in your Marriage so I’ve put together a list to get help get you started! You can also download a copy here from our FREEBIES Hub of Biblical Resources to tuck in your Bible or Prayer Journal.
Here are 37 Ways to Fight to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage by Blessing Your Husband
- Help him prepare for the morning (clothes clean and ready, smoothie or coffee ready, Bible out etc).
- Welcome him home well ( a hug, a kiss or your attention on him instead of the kids)
- Forgive him.
- Include him in meal plans. Ask him what he would like to be included or what he wants to avoid. Include a few of the “favorites” of his as well.
- Kiss or hug him goodbye.
- Keep his favorite snack on hand.
- Fill up his car with gas.
- Serve him coffee or his favorite drink.
- Pray for his work.
- His mind also needs prayer.
- Pray for his relationship with the Lord.
- Plan a date (at home or out) that he would want to do.
- Let him sleep in.
- Send him a text to let him know you’re thinking of him.
- Compliment his looks 🙂
- Thank him for working so hard for his family.
- Thank Him for being a good Dad.
- Tell him how much you appreciate him being a Godly leader.
- Pack his lunch.
Leave notes around the house for him.
- Be the one to say I’m sorry.
- Send him a Bible verse.
- Text him a song to listen too.
- Buy him something little you know he wants.
- Initiate physical intimacy.
- Look into his eyes when talking to him.
- Choose not to nag. Pray instead.
- Give extra hugs.
- Do a chore that he usually does.
- Ask questions and really listen.
- Tell him you respect that he ____________.
- Give him a foot or back rub.
- Kiss him goodnight.
- Write out a prayer for him.
- Join him in (or at least ask about) a hobby of his.
- Brag to the kids about him when he is in earshot.
- Brag to a friend about him.
Friend if you are feeling stuck in the fight for joy in your Christian Marriage, why not take the first step right now to reclaim that joy by blessing him!?!?!?!?
If you do, I’d love to know which of these are you going to try today. Let us know in the comments below! If you need prayer for this season, please don’t hesitate to reach out! I would be honored to pray for you in it.
Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?
We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!
We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our Christian Marriage. Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book. And Be sure to check out the Wives Only FB Group where Christian Wives chose Hope and Joy in every Season
Lee Felix of Like Minded Musings is a Faith-Based Blogger, Lifetime Encourager, and Avoider of Smalltalk. She’s Redeemed Daily by Christ, a Wife of 19 yrs, Mom to 5 Treasures and Unexpected Homeschooler. She would love to encourage you in the journey through imperfect yet intentional parenting in her private Facebook Community. Lee has a Passion to Encourage and Equip Christian Women and Tweens to Embrace the Imperfect and Radiate Christ!