How to Reclaim Fun Date Night's in Marriage (Reclaim Hope and joy in Marriage #ChristianMarriage #biblicalMarriage #ChristianLiving #DateNight)

How to Reclaim Fun Date Night’s in Marriage

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Do you still Date your spouse?  When starting marriage counseling most you have to  commit to date nights. I am astounded to this day as we continuously need to define what occurs during a date and what it looks like.

Our busy, often distracted culture seems to have forgotten how important the practice of dating is. 

It is Important- not only before marriage -but as an investment in the marital glue to hold the relationship together keeping it strong, connected and also fun!

How to Reclaim Fun Date Night's in Marriage PinIt (Reclaim Hope and joy in Marriage #ChristianMarriage #biblicalMarriage #ChristianLiving #DateNight)


What a Date Is Not

  1. A Child Included Activity
    • We’ve actually had people ask can they bring the baby or a child and put them on an electronic.
      • The answer is No!
      • It’s good for your kids to miss you and you them.
    • Leave them with a babysitter, family member or swap with another family so you both can enjoy time away.
      • Parents can often struggling with an anxiety disorder or unhealthy separation anxiety.
        • If you aren’t able to leave your children for a few hours with a trustworthy person – you may consider this.
  2.  Marriage Counseling
    • It’s not a place to work through problems and discuss difficult topics.
      • Save that for a separate meeting where you have pen and paper on hand and can bring you calmest self.
      • Are there issues that continuously blow up before even working on them?
        • Pray through them.  That will connect you to the spirit.   The Spirit can help you embrace the fruit of self-control or pick up some emotional self-regulation tools.
        • Often the topic isn’t the problem. Our approach to the problem is.
  3. A Family Planning Session
    • Leave the kid problems, chore divisions, and calendars at home and off the agenda please.
  4. A Regular Group Outing
    • We often find that couples avoid each other through this process Double Dates.
      • It is fine to occasionally double date, but don’t make a regular practice of it.
      • On a double date people spend money but really have fun with someone besides their spouse.
    • Often when we do make plans with another couple, we drive separately to and from the destination and we also intentionally sit together, hold hands, or snuggle up a little.

Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment to your Marriage?   We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!

We just finished a 31 day Series to help us Reclaim Hope & Joy in Marriage by Intentionally Investing in our Christian Marriage.  Get the articles Free in this downloadable e-Book. And Be sure to check out the Wives Only FB Group where Christian Wives chose Hope and Joy in every Season

Remember the days of great dates?

Your best self showed up. You were well groomed, excited (maybe had some butterflies), and were you but the best you we can be.

I truly believe we are called to bring this person into our marriage dates as often as we can. That doesn’t mean we have to spend a lot of $ on a fancy dinner or tickets and we can’t dress comfortably.

I’ve learned that our appearance does affect our mood and often our behaviors.

When we know we look our best, most of us feel fantastic –, especially women.

I challenge you to put on that outfit you feel beautiful in.  Spray on that glamourous scent (unless someone has allergies) and show up feeling attractive.  And dare I say it? Sexy. – can we talk about Sex in a Christian Marriage?

In 1 Corinthians 10:31, Scripture calls us “…whether we eat or drink…” to “do it all for the glory of God” (NIV).

I truly believe dating is no exception. If you are a person of faith, I encourage you to ask, “How could God be glorified in our dating life?”

What a Date is

  1. A Romantic Encounter
    • Between two people designed to increase attraction, intimacy, and closeness.
      • One of my favorite ways to describe intimacy is Into Me See.
    • Dating allows us the chance to go beyond discussing the mundane details of our lives.
      • We can share our heart desires, dreams, passions and interests.
    • We find that child rearing, parent caregiving, or anything can overtake your personal development.
      • That can result in something you as one party in the dating process needs to address.
        • Our center always includes an individual component in couples counseling because we know two strong “I’s” make a strong “we.”
          • (Boundaries in Marriage training by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.)
  2. Fun!!
    • At least it should be.
    • Dating should not be an obligation.  It should be a chance for two people to let loose, do what they love.
      • For the sheer pleasure of bonding and memory making, experience something new together.
  3. A Regularly Schedule Event
    • Between a husband and a wife.
    • Yes, it would be great if this could happen spontaneously but in an overscheduled world, what we don’t make a priority on calendars, rarely occurs.
    • My husband and I intentionally plan dates at least two times a month and try and add a third one into the mix.
    • When we get a couple in our offices who haven’t been on a date in months, we know there is a problem in priorities.
      • There are usually problems bonding.
      • Or someone isn’t sharing their true self and often avoiding a difficult marriage or spouse.

Rejoice in our Spouses

Proverbs 5:18 reminds us “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (NIV)

Now we weren’t very young when we took the plunge (we were in our 30’s) but I believe this scripture implies a blessing that occurs when we rejoice in our spouses.

Having trouble getting there?

  • I encourage you for the next 30 days to daily write down 3 distinct things you enjoy and appreciate about your spouse.
  • Maybe start small by Planning a date Night at home (here are some ideas)
  • I even dare you to express your gratitude verbally or in writing.  Click Here to Download 30 prompts to get you started.  

Marriage Challenge 30 Way's to Appreciate your Husband PinIt 2 ( #ChristianMarriage, #BiblicalWifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

Who knows? It just might lead to better dates, hot sex, and maybe a happier man and woman.

I’d love to hear your tips for great date nights and how you make time for your marriage relationship in the comments below.

Sharing these ideas helps all of us find more adventure.  It encourages all of us to make dating a priority. Reclaiming more joy and hope for our less than perfect marriages.

Michelle Nietert

A professional counselor and life coach, Michelle has been speaking to audiences in the community, schools, and churches locally, nationally, and internationally for more than 20 years. She brings the same energetic, informative style to every opportunity, whether speaking to a small group or keynoting conferences of over 1,000 attendees. As an owner of a large center in Dallas, Michelle‘s most requested topics combine mental health and faith. With a background as a state-ranked competitive speaker in high school, Michelle is passionate about equipping others to impact our world by sharing God‘s truth and inspiration in practical ways. She has also presented training on beginning your speaking ministry to writing groups both in person and virtually. Her audiences often remark on her passion for God’s word, laughter often in the midst of tears, and ability to share the joy she experiences daily. Michelle has two children, ages 8 and 11, both of whom have begun competitive speaking in their local schools, with her daughter Sophia pursuing writing children’s books. She has been happily married to her husband Drew, who travels as a healthcare consultant, for over 15 years. Michelle's writing has been published nationally in Lifeway’s Parent Life magazine and on the MOPS blog. She is currently with the Blythe Daniel agency, and is scheduled to potentially publish two books in 2020.

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