Did you fall into the fulfillment trap when you were married? I did and boy howdy did it take years to realize and get free from that mess. That is all part of living as wives from a Biblical Worldview! Today we are going to dive into that topic. What does the trap look like and how on earth do we get free from it?
When we search for fulfillment on this Earth, we are robbing ourselves of ultimate joy. This world can offer no such thing, and that includes marriage.
Our mates cannot possibly fulfill every need our bodies and souls require. This is not the design for marriage the Lord has in mind. In fact, marriage is to help us better understand the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and His mission here on Earth.
Honor Christ by submitting to each other.
We all know, the early days of marriage can be such a roller coaster. At least, it was for Casey and I (Katie Braswell from Oh Lord Help Us). After dating for only 6 months, we entered the adventure of marriage. Both fresh out of divorce, and both trying to redeem what we knew marriage should be.
This is dangerous. With every disagreement, screaming fit, or falling tears, an overwhelming feeling of entrapment blanketed.
Marriage felt unfulfilling, depressing, and worthless.
I already failed at it once…maybe I’m just not fit to be a wife and he’s not fit to be a husband. I don’t make him happy and he doesn’t make me happy. How can we do this the next 60 years??
Oh boy. Satan is relentless. Marriage threatens his mission. Godly marriages give him the shivers. He knows there’s power when two people join together to glorify God. His only way to penetrate is shooting fiery arrows of lies at us. Unfortunately, I was weak, broken, and ready to believe anything…
“Your husband should be your greatest joy.”
“He should be able to fulfill your every want and need.”
“Your marriage is broken, just like you. Give up!”
So, with these whispers, how could I ever find joy in my marriage??
A Savior’s Fulfillment will free us from the Trap
I wish I could say that 8 years has been a true blessing and joy. Most parts have been, but that only came when I decided to rebuke Satan’s lies and rely on the truth of God. The truth is, this world is fleeting, ever-changing, and full of sinners. Why would I ever want to store up and measure my treasure here on Earth??
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
1 John 2:15-17, ESV
The moment I realized my husband was a sinner, like me, was the moment I surrendered my marriage to God.
We are both deserving of the cross, but both have accepted the precious gift of Jesus. That’s my joy, right there…the same Jesus I allowed into my heart, resides in my husband’s heart too.
If this is an area you are also struggling to understand and change be sure to check out the 9-week Marriage Course – Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage in the HopeJoyInChrist shop!
I relinquished Casey of the burden to fulfill me and rested it on the shoulders of Jesus.
The world will pass away, but the Father is eternal. If my joy is found here, it can easily be stolen from me. But, if my joy is in my Savior, what human can take Him from me??
Thank you, Katie, for that needed perspective shift! I should be looking to Jesus for True fulfillment instead of my husband – who can never meet all my needs in his human self!
Oh Lord Help Us is generously giving away a: Matthew 5:16 Digital Print
- This beautiful watercolor, painted by Katie Braswell, will remind you that our joy comes from the goodness of God, and you have the ability to influence all those who are around you!
Be sure to enter to win a Copy of the print! BTW, Did you RSVP to the Marriage Event happening all July?
31 Ways to Reclaim Joy in a Christian Marriage
Over $16,000 in Faith and Marriage Resources will be given away – Be sure to Look at the Giveaway Page! And Join us in the Wives only Facebook Group – Reclaiming Hope and Joy in your Marriage
Each Person to RSVP will receive a Digital Swag Bag filled with Freebies, calendars, coupons, bookmarks and amazing coupons to grow your Faith and Marriage!
See you there!
I have attained the titles of wife, mother, daughter, friend. I chase three handsome boys around (one of which is my husband). I get through the day on coffee, wine, and my sweet friend Jesus. I have an affinity for fantastical stories and science fiction. I love creating (in any medium) and imagining.
I am constantly striving to overcome insecurity and negativity in order to be the woman, wife, and mother my Savior destined me to be.