How to Overcome Envy: Learn to Be Still

What do you want in life?  Learning how to overcome envy was never on my list before…

I want a happy marriage, well-behaved kids, financial comfort… 

It’s easy to get sucked into the envy game when we get a window into the highlight real of life.  It’s hard to not envy other people.  How do you fight envy? 

No, I don’t want to keep fighting envy… I lose most of the time.  What I want is to learn how to overcome envy!  Today we will see that learning to be still will help us with God’s command, “Do not envy.”

How to Overcome Envy: Beginning With Questions

“Be still before the Lord; wait patiently for Him and entrust yourself to Him; Do not fret (whine, agonize) because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.” (Psalm 37:7 AMP)

Envy is one of those sins that comes up unexpectedly.  Right?  No one goes out looking for ways to envy other people!  No one wakes up and says, “I am envious, how can I show envy and jealousy today?”

I wish I could sum today up in a nice neat bow for you.  The truth is when we keep our eyes on God and the path He has for us we can learn how to overcome envy. 

But how do you keep your eyes on God all the time?   It’s much more complicated than it sounds.

"The truth is when we keep our eyes on God and the path He has for us we can learn how to overcome envy Share on X

What Causes Envy

David is the author of Psalm 37:7.  The fact that David circles back to the theme of “be still” makes me feel better that I need to be reminded often to be still.  How about you?

David says, “Do not fret,” or “Do not envy,” the person prospering in sin.

Let’s pause for a moment though. Do we know what envy means? It is not a word we use much in today’s culture.

We got a good look at envy in our word study on 1 Corinthians 13:4. Read it in depth here ~> Fighting to Be Sure Love Is Not Jealous

Does envy mean jealousy? Yes and no.

Jealousy includes envy, but envy is not entirely jealousy.

Envy happens when you have something that I want, which is similar to jealousy.  But Jealousy goes deeper than just being envious of what others have.  Jealousy adds covet to envy.

So you could sum envy up with this statement: You have something I want and I wish I had that thing instead of you.

Jealousy is one of the characteristics of an envious person.  Often, when envy is allowed to take root, a person will spend time thinking about life through the lens of jealousy.

Is envy a sin?  Yes. When left unchecked, envy leads to sinful attitudes, words, and actions. What’s more, those sinful results of envy lead to pain and hurt.

Really, when God issued the command, “Do not envy” He was trying to save His children from the harm this sin leads us into.

Related:  Battling the Unbelief of Envy

What Causes Jealousy and Envy?

Psalm 37:7 shows us that David had much opportunity to envy others.  He spent so many years waiting on God to fulfill a promise.

David had been anointed, told he would be king, only to spend years on the run for his life.

How many times must he have asked, “Why?”

• Why am I hiding in a cave for fear of my life?
• Did I really hear the LORD right that I would be king?
• This seems like a crazy path to becoming king.  Are you sure that’s what you are up to God?

It's okay to question God, to ask God questions, and to wrestle through your doubt. God is big enough to handle our questions, answer them, and help our hearts heal! Share on X

It Is Okay to Question God

Did you know, it’s okay to question God, to ask God questions, and to wrestle through your doubt? God is big enough to handle our questions, answer them, and help our hearts heal!

David often begins his writing with questions for God, accusations at God, and general depression.  I can’t blame him because when life is hard those are very real places where we get stuck.

What I love about David is that he never stays there.  David brings his big problems to God and is then reminded that God is bigger than those problems.

How to Stop Being Jealous of Others’ Success

What is the problem you are facing in life today? 

Has life not gone the way you expected?

Are you not as far along as you planned?  Are others doing better financially or in relationships?

David is struggling here because evil people are prospering.

Can you relate to the tendency toward jealousy?

I understand the idea that those who don’t follow God’s ways seem to get farther financially and enjoy life more than others.

Part of my testimony shows how I turned away from God for a season for just this reason.

But we see a truth in David’s example that we need to hold onto for hope and joy to be part of our hard story.  We should not envy ungodly people because they have no eternal future.

So life is hard today. Remember that you have eternity with God ahead. They deserve our pity, prayer, and witness – not envy.

Did you find this mid-series?  Go back here and read the intro and keep up with the series.

Letting Go of Envy in 7 Steps

Do not envy other people. Be still and commit your way to the Lord!

David gives us a clear application of Psalm 37:7.  It is a lesson in how to overcome envy practically!

How do we actually live a life free from envy?  David tells us in Psalm 37:3-6:

1. Trust the Lord.
   • Rely on Him.
   • Have confidence in Him.
2. Do good.
   • Even if others are cheating and lying to get ahead.
3. Delight in the Lord.
   • Love Him.
   • Spend time with Him.
   • Seek Him more than anything else.
4. Give Him the freedom to change your desires.
   • Let God replace anything that He does not desire.
5. Commit your way to the Lord.
   • Decide that you are going to do life God’s Way no matter how others are living.
6. Trust the Lord to do what He promises.
   • Guide you.
   • Protect you.
   • Provide for you and so much more.
7. Be still.
   • Wait patiently because His timing is not our timing.
   • Entrust yourself to God because He has a plan and a way that is best.
   • Do not whine or complain while waiting because you are looking at others on different paths.

How Do I Stop Being Jealous of Others’ Success?

Psalm 37:7 shows us how to stop being jealous of other’s success.  Learning how to overcome envy and jealousy is as simple as a 7 step plan!

I love a plan! 

Give me a seven-step plan to be still and do not envy other people and I am set.

LOL, but that is easier said than done!  Right?!?!?!?!

Notice that not one time did David say, “Look around at what others are doing and try to live like them.”

God didn’t tell us to mimic the preacher (even if he’s a great guy).  He didn’t say live like the saints, even though they died martyrs.  He says to trust the Lord, and live like the Lord says to live.

That’s it.  How to overcome envy the Bible way.  Trust God.  Keep your eyes on God and off of other people

Keep Your Eyes on the Lord, Not on Other People

I get this wrong more days than not.  My friends have nice clothes, seemingly perfect marriages, well-behaved kids, and on and on I could go.

When I look at them, sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path.

God said to stay at home and raise my kids so I know I’m on the path He laid out for us. I wonder, however, at times, if I heard Him right because one income does not stretch far enough.

God said to live with grace, submission, and gentleness in my marriage but some days I wish I could just rail about the unfairness of it all. I wish I could rush change instead of waiting on God’s slow timing when others seem to have this better.

Envy is real

How can we fight envy/

How Do You Fight Envy?

To fight envy, we have to be real and Ask the hard questions:

• Why is this path so much rougher than my friends’ paths?
• Why has God allowed chronic Illness into my life?
  • Is there a point of Chronic pain?
• Does God really have me going in the right direction?
• When will marriage be easier?
• Why is there constant pushback about how we parent?

All of those questions point out a control issue in my life. The truth is, I have envy because I think I could do a better job bringing my own pleasure, comfort, and happiness than God.

Stop trying to take God’s job:

Remember earlier in this series we talked about the temptation to take over God’s job?

If I were God I would increase the income over here, change a heart over there, heal a sickness back yonder.

But I am not God and when I look around – instead of looking up – envy steals my peace, stirs up anxiety, and squashes my stillness.

Learning how to find peace in the midst of chaos is about knowing that God is God and I am not! LOL… Learning it and accepting it over and over and over again!

A Prayer to Overcome Envy

Precious Lord Jesus,

Oh, how I long to delight in You instead of longing for comfort.  I want to want to commit my way to You but then the control freak inside rears her ugly head and I fall short.  Forgive me of the envy that lives deep inside.  I don’t like to admit it is there, but it really is.

Teach me how to desire the things You desire.  Replace this white picket fence dream of comfort and prosperity with a Kingdom-focused dream and desire for life.

I give you this fear, that I am not on the right path because the path is hard.  Here is the worry that You will not step in to provide and protect in time.  I surrender the anxiety of not understanding Your way, Your time, or Your end purpose.

Help me be still and live Your way one step at a time.  Teach my mouth to stop whining and complaining about waiting.  Remind me that others struggle as well, even if I can’t see them.  Convict my heart to pray rather than envy other people, Father.

Amen

Which Step in How to Overcome Envy and Be Still Will You Take Today?

Some days I feel like the problem is outside of me.  I wonder how to stop being jealous and controlling and how to stop being competitive.

On other days I ask how do you deal with an envious person?  Learning how to deal with envy from others still falls into that category of outside my control.

Even wondering which is worse, envy or jealousy leaves me in the wrong place.

What is in my control?  The direction I fix my eyes.

What is in your control?  The direction you fix your eyes. 

What are you looking at today?  Are you focused on others or are you looking at Jesus?  Are you trying to take over God’s job in your life or are you content to trust Him like a good sheep?

Look over the list and see which step you are stuck on today.

1. Trust the Lord.
2. Do good.
3. Delight in the Lord.
4. Give Him the freedom to change your desires.
5. Commit your way to the Lord.
6. Trust the Lord to do what He promises.
7. Be still.

If you are trusting God, are you doing good?  If you are doing good, are you delighting in the Lord?  Take the next right step today and you will have learned how to overcome envy!

God says, “Do not envy. Be still.”  This is how you do it!

in HIM,

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