Is love enough for marriage to last a lifetime? Love. That little word can rule us, lead our feelings and emotions, and cause us to get married in the first place. Love is powerful, but does it last? Today Alyssa Avant will answer a question we all ask as the Honeymoon ends and the pressures of real like sneak into our marriage. Is there Hope for Marriage to last a lifetime in this divorce-prone culture? Is there one thing that leads to a healthy marriage?Is there Hope for Marriage to last a lifetime in this divorce-prone culture? Is there one thing that leads to a healthy marriage? Click To Tweet
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Is Love Enough for Marriage? One Thing That Leads to a Healthy Marriage
Have you ever tried to explain exactly what love is?
The dictionary definition of Love:
- Noun –“an intense feeling of deep affection.”
- Verb –“to feel a deep romantic or sexual attraction to (someone).”
That emotional word “feel” is emphasized in both of these definitions. Your feelings and emotions can be dangerous if you allow them to rule in your life and marriage.
Is love enough for Marriage? No. Our Cultural definition of love is never going to be enough to create a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime.Is love enough for Marriage? No. Our Cultural definition of love is never going to be enough to create a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime. Click To Tweet
Why is love not enough for marriage?
Love, the way our culture defines love, is an emotional word. You can not have a healthy marriage if emotions are leading your daily choices. Why should you not allow your emotions to rule your marriage?
Yes, it is true, a feeling of deep affection led to marriage. But NO, it is not the only thing that a couple needs to sustain a healthy marriage.
When I was a young newlywed I was very emotional. My husband used to say that my emotions could range from happy to sad in a matter of seconds. This was true and could be draining.
When answering the question “Is love enough for marriage” we can agree that Love is not enough for Marriage, the emotion of love. Feelings and emotions are one thing you should never allow to rule your marriage.
What can you do with emotions in Marriage?
I recently read an article that said, “Emotions are gages, not guides.” – Jon Bloom. Wisely, Mr. Bloom encouraged his readers to not allow their emotions to be the guide by which they live.
We all experience various emotions daily.
Just think about that variety of emotions. Marriage ruled by emotions would be like riding a rollercoaster. So the answer to the question “Is love enough for Marriage to last a lifetime” has to be no.Marriage ruled by emotions would be like riding a rollercoaster. So the answer to the question 'Is love enough for Marriage to last a lifetime' has to be no. Click To Tweet
But let’s not take this too far. Love is Important.
Even a healthy marriage will go through difficult seasons that lead you to ask hard questions. Have you ever asked these?
- Is love enough for a relationship to survive?
- Is love necessary for Marriage?
- Can love alone sustain a relationship?
- Can marriage last without love?
God is love and so we know that love is important and has a place in our lives. God tells us to love others as we love ourselves. Love is so important to God that it is a key piece in the two commandments He gave us.
Matthew 22:36-38 (Click through the phrases to go deeper into their meaning) “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your Godwith all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment” The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yoruself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
The question shouldn’t be “is love enough for Marriage to last?”. No, the question should be “Am I showing love God’s way or the Cultures way?” (Find a word study on The 8 Ways to Love from 1 Corinthians here)
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The One Thing That Leads to a Healthy Marriage
If Love is not enough for Marriage to last a lifetime, how can you redirect your focus and find the one thing that leads to a healthy marriage?
What should you allow to rule your relationship rather than your emotions? Commitment to do Marriage God’s Way.
Do you remember the vows that you made at your wedding?
“I, [name], take you [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”
Wedding vows are a form of commitment, a contract you chose to enter before God. As a Christian, we are to fix our eyes on Jesus and let Him rule our lives no matter how we feel.
When the Lord is in the center, marriage is based on the model of Christ and the church.
God’s way to do Marriage or God’s plan for marriage is explained in Scripture
Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
While studying over on Bible.org this week about marriage I came upon this quote:
“The Trinity is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit; they are one and yet still individual persons.
When a couple gets married, they are to demonstrate this. Marriage demonstrates two individual people becoming “one” for the rest of their lives while maintaining their individuality.”
The Bible also tells us God should rule our marriage.
God’s model of love shows us how a husband should love his wife.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
As wives, we are to submit to our husbands.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18
What changes you are committed to doing Marriage God’s Way?
Doing marriage God’s way, staying focused on the commitment you made rather than allowing the changing emotions of love to rule your Marriage brings blessings and healthy marriage.
A commitment to better communication
When you focus on feeling “in love” communication in marriage suffers as your feelings come and go. But if you are committed to God’s Way you will have better communication marriage through mutual respect.
Another area that often suffers when feelings rule a marriage is quality time together. Lack of time in a relationship hurts the bond and weakens communication.
A commitment to spending time together
When you see your emotions as a guide you can more easily see when they are ruling your choices. Honoring your commitment to each other will lead you to spend more time together, strengthening the bond of marriage and developing habits of a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime!Enter to Win: Faith Leaps: The Christian Mom's Guide to Passion, Purpose and Profits. Click To Tweet
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Is Love Enough for marriage to last a lifetime and be a Healthy Marriage?
No, Love is not enough for marriage to last a lifetime and be a healthy Marriage. I know that commitment, respect and submission are controversial topics but they are the cornerstone pieces in doing Marriage God’s Way. If we look at scripture and base Marriage on Biblical ideas everything will surely look counter-cultural.
If your Marriage looks counter-cultural you are on the right path. We see that marriage should reflect Jesus Christ and He submits willingly to His Father.
Jesus’ love is perfect and therefore the right choice for what should rule your marriage.
Ultimately our marriage should bring glory to God. We all can admit that a love ruled or emotion ruled marriage will not always last a lifetime while a commitment ruled marriage will.
Alyssa is a Christian author, speaker and writing coach who works from home as a Virtual assistant to authors & speakers. She has three rambunctious, active children and has been married to my husband Greg for 19 years.
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