1 Thing to Never allow to Rule Your Marriage (Christian Marriage, Biblical Wifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

1 Thing to Never allow to Rule Your Marriage


Love … a little four-letter word that can rule us and caused us all to enter into holy matrimony, right?  Have you ever tried to explain exactly what love is?

The dictionary definition of Love:

  • Noun –“an intense feeling of deep affection.”
  • Verb –“to feel a deep romantic or sexual attraction to (someone).”

That emotional word “feel” is emphasized in both of these definitions.

Our feelings/emotions can be dangerous if we allow them to rule in life and marriages.

1 Thing to Never allow to Rule Your Marriage fb (Christian Marriage, Biblical Wifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

Why should you not allow your emotions to rule your marriage?

True, a feeling of deep affection may have been led to marriage.  But, it is not the only thing that a couple needs to sustain a healthy marriage.

When I was a young newlywed I was very emotional.  My husband used to say that my emotions could range from happy to sad in a matter of seconds.  This was true and could be draining.

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Feelings/emotions are the 1 thing we should never allow to rule our marriages.

I recently read an article that said, “Emotions are gages, not guides.”  – Jon Bloom.  Wisely, Mr. Bloom encouraged his readers to not allow their emotions to be the guide by which they live.

We all experience various emotions daily.

Just think about that variety of emotions.  Marriage ruled by emotions would feel like riding a rollercoaster.  

How can we redirect the focus that has rule over our Marriage?

What should we allow to rule our relationship rather than your emotions?   Do you remember the vows that you took at your wedding?

"I, [name], take you [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

Most of us took that vow in a church.  I pray that as you read this you remember we are Christians.  We are to fix our eyes on Jesus and let Him rule our lives.

When the Lord is in the center, marriage is based on the model of Christ and the church.

God’s plan for marriage is explained in Scripture

Genesis 2-24 Leave and cleave - don't let emotions rule your marriage

While studying over on Bible.org this week about marriage I came upon this quote:

“The Trinity is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit; they are one and yet still individual persons.

When a couple gets married, they are to demonstrate this. Marriage demonstrates two individual people becoming “one” for the rest of their lives while maintaining their individuality.”

The Bible also tells us God should rule our marriage.

God’s model of love shows us how a husband should love his wife.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25

As wives, we are to submit to our husbands.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18

I know this can be a controversial topic but it is a part of Biblical Wifehood.   If we look closely at Scripture and base marriage on Biblical ideas everything will look counter-cultural.  We see that marriage should reflect Jesus Christ and He submits willingly to His Father.

1 Thing to Never allow to Rule Your Marriage PinIt (Christian Marriage, Biblical Wifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

Jesus' love is perfect and therefore the right choice for what should rule our marriages.

Ultimately our marriage should bring glory to God.  We all can admit that an emotion ruled marriage may not always do this.

This is such Practical advice Alyssa!  So good to keep watch over what Rules our lives! 

You can keep up with Alyssa at  http://alyssaavant.com/ where she writes about overcoming your fears through Faith.

We are in a 30 day Series called Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage

Here are a few of the Articles so Far:
The Unexpected Path to Happiness in Marriage
3 Ways to Stand Firm in the Battle for Your Marriage
7 Practical Ways to Reclaim Hope and Joy in Your Marriage
How to Restore Honor Back in Your Marriage
Reclaim True Hope for the Hurting Wife

Chase Jesus When Your Marriage Is on the Brink
Marriage Communication: Why & How to Restore It
How To Face An Empty Nest And Renew Your Marriage
4 Marriage Secrets so You Never Say That Dirty “D” Word

Keep up with all the posts on the Main Biblical Wifehood Page or Get them direct to your Inbox and read them when you have time


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in Him,


Alyssa Avant

Hey there! I am Alyssa Avant, a Christian author, speaker, and Bible teacher who works from home as a Virtual Assistant to authors, coaches and speakers while raising my 3 rambunctious children.  I homeschool my youngest child, while my older two children attend private school. I have been married to my husband Greg for 17 years.  

8 thoughts to “1 Thing to Never allow to Rule Your Marriage”

  1. My brother who was married for 17 years before he went home to be with the Lord always said, we can’t live life and we definitely can’t live marriage by our feelings. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. The world is driven by feeling and when couples say ‘I don’t love you anymore’ as the reason for divorce is really a wholly self-centered attitude which essentially says ‘because you don’t make me feel good anymore, I don’t want you.” very unbiblical. As you said, feelings come and go, but when believers commit our lives to someone (making a vow before God), it means we stick with it when we feel alot of things AND don’t feel anything at all. thanks for your great reminder!

  3. So true, Alyssa. I was more that way as a young bride, too. We celebrate our 25th anniversary in a few weeks and I’m grateful to have learned along the way that emotions aren’t the boss of me. (Most of the time, anyway. haha) Thanks for sharing, Alyssa. — And, nice to meet you, Tiffany. I don’t believe we’ve crossed paths before. Graces to you and your ministry. 🙂

  4. Marriage is God’s way of putting His glory and relationship on display. I don’t always do a great job of displaying, but the mindset is a good one!

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