Forgiveness is crazy hard to get heart-deep. Crazy hard. Of course, we are expected to do it, hard or not, but just once I want someone to stand next to me in agreement that it’s too much to ask. Too much to accomplish on my own. Then, just as someone would stand up with me in agreement, steps onto the stage, the Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge… And that is how I finally took the right step toward genuine forgiveness.
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Why I Desperately Need The Ancient of Days, Meaning God Will Judge
Picture this with me for a moment. A fragile 20-something-year-old girl, broken and angry, filled with bitterness and resentment…
- Divorced when she believed that was ungodly.
- Bankrupt and nearly homeless.
- Betrayed, abused, neglected, and abandoned by the very people who were supposed to protect her.
- Falling passionately into the arms of Jesus…
He called me to a life of complete surrender. A life lived for Him, the way the Bible says to live. He calls us all to that life, but it is a difficult path to walk. In surrender, I agreed to give Him every area of my life. Did you?
My talents and treasures, my failures and pain, and everything in between. And He said I had to forgive. He said I could trust Him with the pain and hurt. He said that He was The Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all those who had caused that pain and hurt. But still, I struggled…
The Struggle to Forgive
I had tried to forgive, honest I had. Who knows how many sermons on forgiveness I have sat through?
Each and every time I would again lay the pain of my childhood at the altar of God. And then, at some point, completely unintentionally, I would pick it back up.
Can you relate?
And I was living with the consequences of unforgiveness. Bitterness and resentment had twisted around my heart until it was hard and cold. Have you tried to live for Jesus with a cold hard heart? Impossible! Well, difficult at any rate. It was a pitiful, childish Christianity with no power.
- I wasn’t hearing His voice.
- I wasn’t growing in my faith.
- And He certainly wasn’t answering my prayers!
Loopholes in Christianity
For most of my relationship with God, I had lived out Paul’s warning in 2 Timothy.
“Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” (2 Timothy 3:5 KJV)
Religious, going to church, and acting better than the lost around me, all the while being just like them, was the past for me. I had agreed to live a life of surrender, to becoming a New Testament Christian, a Disciple of Christ. Whatever He said in the Bible was what I wanted for my life.
But honestly, I tried desperately to find a loophole around forgiveness because it was just so hard. I could not one. In fact, the more I searched, the more I was convinced it was the single thing holding back my prayer life and faith walk.
Because Jesus Said So Wasn’t Enough For Me. You?
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15 NASB)
There is a weight to that. The very words of Jesus. Jesus said we must forgive. There are consequences for not walking in forgiveness… But I kept trying and I kept failing to forgive in my heart.
In my mind, I thought I had let it go to God, but then when the people came around who hurt me, all that anger was there like it was still new and fresh. Failed forgiveness makes you think it’s impossible to forgive.
How Big Is The Hurt Compared To The Cross?
Matthew 18:21-34 tells the story of a man who had been forgiven much but then would not forgive something small. For a season in my life, this was God’s word to me. It came up on the radio, in various devotionals, in sermons, and through conversations with friends. Everywhere I went God was saying I had been forgiven much. A preacher even summarized it with this question.
“How could you not then forgive all the wrongs done to you when they are small in comparison to what God forgave?”
Now, honestly, I didn’t agree that the hurts were small. A childhood of rape, abuse, and neglect – that’s not small. Betrayal, miscarriage – not small.
Part of my struggle to forgive was because of how big the hurts were, but also how many hurts there were. I had done nothing on that scale for God to forgive… so that question rang hollow to me.
And as I was married and offenses began there… well, I was already used to not forgiving, so… why change?
There are many lessons from that God will judge Bible verse. If He is The Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all the earth, I can forgive. Share on XDisagreeing With God
Do you ever argue with God? He and I had this ongoing conversation for a season while I worked through forgiveness. It was such a powerful disagreement I had to leave the house to have out with God so I didn’t push my lost husband further away from God.
Most days I went on a walk with God as we wrestled over the issue. And I screamed at Him about how unfair it was of Him to ask this of me. (Our neighbors must have thought I was a crazy person.)
Forgiveness Feels Unfair
The truth was, all that anger was a cover for fear. I was afraid and honestly indigent. Someone had to hold the villains of my past accountable, otherwise, it felt like they won. If I didn’t hold onto the anger, it felt like they would be right, like they would get away with a lifetime of pain.
For God to ask me to forgive them felt unfair. Shouldn’t He be asking them to make amends, and acknowledge their part in destroying me, crushing me, and making me this fragile person?
Unfair.
Run Toward God When It Is Hard
One big lesson I learned over the years, is when God turns up the fire, when He is refining you, asking something of you that is too big, you must press in harder.* Lean into Him and the heat and watch as He produces something beautiful in your character.
So, I kept my eyes fixed on Him as we fought about the unfairness of forgiveness.
Then one day He showed me a picture of Himself as the Ancient of Days, meaning the Great Judge of all the earth. It is a picture that changed my tone as we argued.
Who is The Ancient of Days, Meaning God Will Judge?
“Vengeance is Mine, and recompense;” (Deuteronomy 32:35 NKJV)
Repeatedly in the Bible, He says vengeance is mine. God will repay evil doers, He promises. Where does the Bible say God will judge?
“For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.”” (Hebrews 10:30 ESV)
But it’s easy to feel like He is just being poetic when He says things like that. I mean, evil people get away scot-free on Earth all the time. 20 years after I forgave the people who were at the root of most of my pain as a child, they still seem to be living good lives…
But then God reminded me, that this life is not all there is. One day, every person who ever lived will give an account of their life to God, the Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all people one day.
Related Post: What Does The Bible Say About Vengeance is Mine
Bible Verse About The Ancient of Days
“I watched till thrones were put in place, And the Ancient of Days was seated; His garment was white as snow, And the hair of His head was like pure wool. His throne was a fiery flame, Its wheels a burning fire; A fiery stream issued And came forth from before Him. A thousand thousands ministered to Him; Ten thousand times ten thousand stood before Him. The court was seated, And the books were opened.” (Daniel 7:9-10 NASB)
Can you imagine the scene?
God comes forward seated on this fiery seat. His hair is white like snow. His clothes are white, so pure and holy. Surrounding Him are more people than can be numbered, all waiting for Him to judge the world.
Related Post: Can You Be Still When God Is Just?
God Will Judge All The Earth One Day
What does Daniel chapter 7 mean? God is just and God is the judge.
Most of the time, I don’t like to think of God as the just Judge of all creation. I prefer to think of the loving side of God, the merciful side of God. But at that moment, the truth of the scene brought the freedom I needed to allow me to release them from the debt I felt they owed me.
In reality, it answered a shifted question I get when I talk about God being the Great Judge of the Universe. What does El Shaddai mean? Almighty God. It sounds nicer than Judge and Just, but it is just another side of who He is. Because God is almighty, El Shaddai, God, He is able to judge the world.
What Does it Mean that the Ancient of Days Takes His Seat in the Courtroom Setting?
There is a book where all the deeds of man are written. There is a Judge, the Ancient of Days who will read from that book. Ancient of days meaning in Hebrew is about God being the creator who has witnessed all of history and alone can judge the thoughts, actions, and intentions of men.
I understood that:
- God saw the hurt.
- The Lord knew the pain they caused.
- God cared and God would handle vengeance and justice in His time in His way.
The Ancient of Days is our loving Father God. He is on our side and no one will get away with hurting His Beloved. That’s you, and me…
What Does it Mean That God is Judge?
God created the world. He wrote His perfect law into it, then commanded us to live a sinless life.
We failed and sin entered the world.
“When was the ancient of days made?” you might wonder. From the beginning of creation, God has kept a record of our lives we are told so he was not made. Rather He has always been and has always been watching in love. And one day, He will judge us by that record.
How will God judge us? One day we will give an account of every thought, attitude, word, and action in our lives. God will judge every man according to his works. It is kind of chilling if you take Jesus out of the picture…
Who is God the ultimate judge of? All. All of His creation falls under His judgment.
What is the basis for which God will judge us? We wish there were like 5 things God will judge you by, but really there is just one. Holiness. His holiness. Either we have been saved and Jesus stands in front of us so God sees His perfect spotless life, or we hope our life stands up to the holiness of God. Do you stand behind Jesus?
God will judge us according to our deeds if we are not in Christ…
If God is The Ancient of Days, Meaning God Will Judge…
There are many lessons from that God will judge Bible verse. If He is The Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all the earth, I can forgive.
Everything I had been holding onto, He has written in that book He is opening in the scene in Daniel. And God dishes out punishment that will be longer-lasting and farther-reaching than any petty vengeance I could achieve.
If forgiveness is releasing the debt I feel they owe me to God, and God is The Ancient of Days I am free to do other things because He is faithful. So maybe they seem to get away with hurting me here on earth. In reality, this life is just a moment compared to eternity.
- God will judge the world. (Matthew 25:31-46)
- God will judge our enemies. (Exodus 23:22)
- Fornicators and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4)
- God will judge the sexually immoral.
- God will judge the wicked and the just. (Ecclesiastes 3:17)
A Prayer For The Salvation of The Villains
And while some of the pain in my past was vile and heinous, most of it was not. There are very few people in life that I truly believe deserve an eternity in Hell. God gave me a perspective shift from this Ancient of days Bible verse. In this vision of Him as the Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all the earth, we see a shift.
Suddenly, I felt compelled to pray for the salvation of the villains in my life. The Spiritual meaning of Ancient of Days is to pray that somehow their hearts would be softened, their eyes would be opened, and they would begin to walk with Jesus. I had the privilege of seeing that prayer answered with one that blew my mind recently…
Praying for the people who hurt you is a great sign that you are forgiving them. Yes, I meant to say, “are forgiving them.” It is a process!
Some hurts take years to genuinely forgive. We lay it down but then pick it back up over and over again until one day we realize we are free of it! Praying for their salvation or spiritual growth is a great sign that you are finally free.
Related Post: Powerful War Room Prayers for Spiritual Battle
Forgiveness in Marriage
All of this took place while I was married to Bud, my wonderful husband. At the time, he was a lost man, an alcoholic whose childhood was just as messed up as my own. We each brought so much baggage to the marriage that it is a wonder it lasted past the first year.
In those early years, Bud hurt me in so many ways, ways he doesn’t even remember because alcohol does that to you…
And God said to forgive him. Forgive him when he doesn’t even remember how he hurt me, which means he’ll just do it again. Forgive him, when he had no desire to change or apologize or…
Related Post: How to Fight the Real Enemy in a Biblical Marriage
Bitterness in Marriage
Now, did I learn my lesson about forgiveness and make this easier on myself? Nope. I could not figure out how to forgive ongoing, in-the-moment hurt. I mean, how do you forgive someone who is actively hurting you?
How do you release the debt knowing tomorrow night it will happen again?
And as I refused to forgive him, my old frienemies bitterness and resentment came back. It was like they never left. And as hard as our marriage was, I was making it harder by refusing to forgive Bud.
Unforgiveness Leads to More Unforgiveness
It’s crazy how easy it is to fall into the cycle of unforgiveness. By refusing to forgive this one thing, it becomes easier to not forgive the next thing. And it keeps cycling until you don’t even realize how much you have refused to forgive.
Until one day, you feel dry Spiritually, like you have been walking through the desert alone for days or weeks or months. Until one day God shines His light in on you and asks, “When will you surrender this to me?”
Related Post: A Wife’s True Story: Knowing The Importance of Forgiveness in Marriage Leads To Blessing
God will Judge, the Ancient of Days Meaning
The Ancient of Days meaning in the Bible is that God will judge, even the things done to you in marriage. Yes, God will judge, meaning, the small things and the huge irreconcilable things will all be judged.
Can you picture your spouse standing before The Ancient of Days, giving an account of why He cheated on you, why he hit you, why he called you names, why he lied to you, why he refused to lead you and your family, why he didn’t love you as Christ loved the church? One day he will.
God will judge you and me. One day I will also stand before God and give an account. He will question me about why I held back this area of forgiveness. Why didn’t I let Him have it? Why did I refuse to respect and submit? How did I think it was okay to hide in fear over things?
Related Post: Ancient Of Days Seron – Francis Chan
Knowing God is the Ancient of Days Inspired Me To Pray More
Just knowing God is the Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all the earth, inspired me. It pushed me to stop keeping a record of wrongs, because why should God and I both do that? It also inspired me to pray harder over things.
If my husband will have to give an account of all the things he struggles with, shouldn’t I be covering him in prayer? Shouldn’t I be begging God to change him, and help him grow more?
If we lived like we believed God will judge, that He is the Ancient of Days, we would pray more, witness more, and be way less easily offended.
Related: Who Wrote Ancient of Days? Petra, but I like the Shane& Shane version
He Is The Ancient of Days, Meaning God Will Judge: Will You Surrender Today?
Do you really believe He is The Ancient of Days, meaning God will judge all the earth one day?
Believing that, knowing He will judge, can bring freedom to forgive if you will surrender today. Will you let Him be the only one keeping a record of wrongs in your life? Will you step down from His job of judge and avenger?
Step toward forgiveness today by surrendering this area to Him. And don’t be afraid to argue with HIm along the way, yell, scream, cry, and hash the thing out. He can take it.
He doesn’t want you to pretend it’s easy, or give up because it’s too hard. Instead, He wants you to actively stay in the process with Him while He works it all out.
Will you?
in HIS love,
Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian Women to grow in faith, live out Biblical Marriage Principles and raise Godly Children. Join the Wives Only Facebook Group here or keep up with her through Pinterest.
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