Welcome back to the Marriage Monday Series! We are half way through 1 Corinthians 13:4-8! I have really been challenged by all the ways to apply it to our Wifehood. Today we will see that Love is Not Easily Provoked .
So far we have seen Patience in Marriage, Kindness in Marriage, Jealousy in Marriage, Bragging in Marriage, Arrogance in Marriage, Disrespect or Acting unbecoming in Marriage and Selfishness in Marraige.
Honestly, this has felt like a lot of hard work. I know I can’t do this alone (This Biblical Wifehood)! Would you like to join me in a Facebook Community dedicated to Encouragement and Equipping in our Christian Marriages? Click Here!
Would you say you are easily provoked to anger?
When I think of this in our Marriage I immediately think of I Love Lucy. The classic scene opens as Lucy is caught in some wild scheme by Ricky who goes off into a mad Spanish tirade.
But does that actually happen in real life Biblical Marriages?
Well, to be honest, the original language does not point to that extreme. Let’s look at the meaning of Provoked.
Love does not make the other angry without a reason
Love gives up that anger to for reconciliation.
That sounds like clean fighting to me.
Do you fight clean or are you like me and love the battle even if it means you lose the war?
Let me share an example from my life:
There was a day B came home (earlier than I expected) in a foul mood -angry about something from his job.
My day had been filled with whining and screaming and more messes than I can count.
Something irritated B about the condition of the living room (probably the disaster of crushed pretzel’s and cheerio’s that magically appears most days) and he picks a fight with me about it.
I could quickly see that he was right -this time. I knew I was going to lose this one. But I had lost one to many fights this particular day and I “needed” to win something. I switched gears mid argument, bringing up something he had done in the past that was far worse.
I won a shallow victory in that moment
You see, I know exactly what will upset my husband and how to push his buttons to win an argument.
Love does not provoke him to anger to win… we both lose that way even if I “win” that argument.
That is 1 side of this word Provoked, now let’s examine it’s flip side.
Love gives up Anger to for Reconciliation.
Have you been hurt in your Christian Marriage? I have. I had to come to a place to assess the hurt.
Was it a small injury, a deep wound or just an offence?
I don’t know about you, but I can be easily offended by his:
- unintentional comments
- self centeredness
Probably the same way he is offended by all that in me.
It’s so important to not be easily offended. I have to remind myself to accept that others fail… just like I do.
Loving my husband means I choose to forgive
Part of forgiveness is accepting his apology. Genuinely accepting it.
I have to choose to give up my anger (get over my hurt feelings) so we can be reconciled.
I had a real hard time with this bit. Can I share my story of Forgiveness with you?
I was injured by my husband.
There have been times in our past where he has used words to hurt me. Times where his ego clashed with my pride and he won. There have been times where he has reacted badly and hurt my feelings. Those things are normal when you spend as much time together as we do in our biblical Marriage!
My Husband wounded me deeply
I hope you get a chance to read through my testimony in the E-book about forgiving. There have been several circumstances where B has deeply wounded me.
- Calculated decisions on his part that forever changed our lives.
I was sure our Marriage would fall apart. But honestly, I have forgiven him. It is possible. Do you believe that?
You can always reach out to me if you need an ear to talk to or someone to pray with you through a difficult season in your Christian Marriage.
Marriage Challenge: Assess the hurt
Spend some time praying over the hurt you feel.
Ask God to show you if it is a result of:
- Being too easily offended
- A small hurt done to you
- A deep injury in your Marriage
Write it out. Begin praying over it. Ask God to show you how to give up your anger and forgive.