Did you go into marriage expecting a fairytale ending? I did. Somehow I bought the lie the marriage would fix all my problems, fulfill all my longings and heal all the brokenness inside my heart. Instead, marriage added his problems, longings, and brokenness to my own. Anyone else? So when 1 Corinthians says love endures all things, I have to dig deeper because that is not what I thought love did.Can we create a marriage where love endures all things?On our own? No. Never. Impossible. But with God fighting for us? Absolutely! Click To Tweet
Why Should I Create Marriage Where Love Endures All Things?
I have wrestled with this question for years. Marriage did not turn out to be what I thought it would. There are days and seasons that are wonderful, but then there are days and seasons that are tough.
Bud and I have walked through hard times so bad I wanted to quit fighting. In fact, I am walking through such a season right now. When the hard ramps up, it is easier to check out, imagine a life without all the struggling, and throw in the towel.
Why bother creating a marriage where love endures all things?
It is hard work. There is little appreciation for the hard work.
I’ll say it in one word. Covenant.
When there are more hard days than fun days God reminds me that I fight for this marriage, not for Bud, not for me, but for HIM.
Marriage is a covenant. On that rainy Friday morning, I made a forever promise to God to be Bud’s wife.
To have and to hold.
For better or worse.
For richer or poorer.
In sickness and in health.
To love and to cherish.
Until death do us part.
That was more than just a fancy, “love endures all things poem.” This vow was said before God as a promise.
I Fight To Honor God
Some days I fight for my marriage just to honor God.
I’ve met many amazing wives who struggle with small things in their marriage, like wet towels on the bed and toilet seats left up. For them, 90% of life is in the blessed category. God bless them.
That has not been my marriage. When the hard days pile up and the flesh inside of me wants to walk away, I have to remember that God is good and I can trust Him to do impossible things.
Why create a marriage where love endures all things? Because I trust God to give me the strength to endure all things. Because He is faithful and rewards those who are faithful.
“And without faith is t is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6 NASB).
Maybe it’s not the answer you wanted today, but I desire to live transparently. Most of what I write is from experience and deep Bible study. That experience hasn’t made this a perfect marriage. No, what I share is not a fix-all for your marriage, but something bigger.
In the midst of the hard, while you come trying to fix your marriage, what God wants most is to get your eyes on Him. That is the lesson I’ve learned over and over again as trials come: hope and joy come when we fix our eyes on Jesus in the midst of our impossible situations.
God is glorified, not in the perfect marriage, but through the spouse who trusts Him in every circumstance.
Now, back to the study…
What Bibles Verse Says Love Endures All Things?
For our study, we are answering a big question: What is love in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8?
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act disrespectfully or unbecomingly; it does not seek it’s own, is not provoked to anger, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth;bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, enduring all things. Love never fails.“
We have seen that each word builds upon the last. When we apply the verbs, we create a marriage that is rock solid.
What Does Love Endures All Things Mean?
To understand love endures all things meaning, we need to look at it in the original language.
Hypomeno – Love endures all things means that love remains in a place instead of leaving when it gets hard.
Love Remains When It Gets Hard
But can a Christian marriage really endure all things?
Life gets hard, doesn’t it? I know I am not the only one dealing with hard things. When his sin is living in the same house as my sin, life can get messy. Shoot, even when we are both doing things in a godly way things still seem to go wrong often.
Related Post: How to Be a Biblical Wife to an Ungodly Husband
Why Should We Stay When Marriage Gets Hard?
What does Corinthians 13 4:7 say about love? Love stays. Love endures all things love never fails…
It is tempting to leave, to quit, or to try again with someone else when life gets hard. When we’ve tried everything and nothing helps. How do we stick it out? Should we stick it out?
To understand how we can actually stay we have to look at the bigger picture and then narrow our focus.
The Big Picture Of Marriage
Marriage is NOT about my happiness, contrary to what I believed when we first said, “I do.”
Our Christian marriage is supposed to demonstrate God’s love, God’s way.
God’s love is amazing, unconditional and this lost world needs it! They need to know that:
- God never leaves us or forsakes us (Deut 31:6; Heb 13:5).
- God is longsuffering with us, slow to anger, and full of grace and mercy toward us (Psalm 145:8).
I don’t know what your life has looked like, but mine has been a mess of disastrous mistakes and deliberate rebellion. I praise God He is an again kind of God who never gives up on me.
But it feels impossible to love as God loves in the middle of a difficult marriage.
Nothing Is Impossible With God
Can we create a marriage where love endures all things?
On our own? No. Never. Impossible.
But with God fighting for us? Absolutely!
It wouldn’t be in God’s word if it were impossible, but it requires hard work on our part. It requires us to be intentional and in the Word of God.
Are you up for that?
How To Create a Marriage Where Love Endures All Things
Once we have the basics down, or at least refreshed, we can dig into the deeper way of living out this love endures all things verse. Reminders:
- Marriage is a covenant.
- We honor God when we fight for our marriage.
- Marriage is more about God than us
- Nothing is impossible with God
Now that we are all on the same page, here are 3 things you can do today that will help create a marriage that endures:
- Set aside the cultural way
- Relearn what love is
- Forgive easily
1. Set Aside the Cultural Way of Doing Marriage
We have to set aside the culture’s way of doing marriage. They just have it wrong about too many things and it is proven by the divorce rate!
The culture says:
- Stay married as long as you feel “in love”.
- Do what he likes if he does what you like.
- Respect has to be earned.
- Expect perfection.
- Point out every mistake
We know God says the opposite of everything the culture says.
- Do good when it is in your power.
- Respect your husband (and a whole lot of other people) because God said so.
- Only ONE man was ever perfect and you are not married to Him.
- Love covers a multitude of sins (so you don’t have to point them all out).
Related Post: When Cultural Marriage Advice Fails: God Has A Way
2. Re-Learn To Love God’s Way
Not only do we need to set aside cultural marriage advice, but we also need to re-learn what love is.
I wonder how long we’ve had this so backward from Scripture? Have you been just as shocked by all 1 Corinthians 13 teaches about love? A 1 Corinthians 13 love is nothing like the love I learned. It goes farther than this phrase though, love endures all things Corinthians style.
Love is not a feeling, love is an action. We can choose how we act, even when the feelings fade. Literally, I feel like my mind is blown by that revelation.
Creating a marriage that endures requires us to relearn what love is – like we’ve been doing in this series.
- God’s way of love is a love that covers sin and leads to hope and joy!
- Love God’s way means praying and refreshing that love!
3. Forgiveness is Key
Forgiveness has to become a way of life for us to live out a 1 Corinthians 13 love. Yes, forgiveness is key. To respect when it’s hard and release expectations we have to be Believers who forgive easily.
Forgiving easily is about remembering how much God has forgiven me and then releasing others in the same way. It is about remembering that God is the judge and we are all learning and growing and failing. We all need mercy and grace. We can trust God to sort out the rest.
Easier said than done, I know.
Forgiveness is a topic we have gone much deeper into in the past so be sure to search it out on the site.
Related Post: 7 Steps to Thrive Through Forgiveness in Marriage
What Does Do All Things With Love Mean?
“Do all things with love” is one of my favorite love endures all things quotes. I remember when this was taught to me, I felt overwhelmed. ‘I will never be able to do all of those things consistently’, I thought.
Honestly, what seemed impossible then is such a joy now. It is a blessing to walk beside countless women who have chosen to be Biblical wives with a love that endures!
What does it mean to do all things with love, especially 1 Corinthians 13 love? It means you keep going, you remain and fight. Will you ever get it all right, perfectly living out all 14 verbs? No, but you will grow in grace as you work on one at a time!
Will You Create a Marriage Where Love Endures All Things?
The fact is, God’s love endures all things. You have access to that love as an adopted child of HIS. Through his strength, you can do all things, including enduring hard things in marriage!
Will you commit to creating an enduring marriage today? It’s not easy, but it is possible with God.
- Throw out cultural marriage advice
- Re-learn love 1 Corinthians 13 style
- Forgive easily
Do You Need To Go Deeper?
This is part of the 9-week Marriage Bible Study –Finding Hope & Joy in Marriage. Through this course, we will explore the 9 Biblical foundations of having a successful marriage God’s way.
This class will include:
- 10 video lessons
- You can watch live or when you have time
- 9 weeks of personal study
- 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
- A private Facebook Group to discuss the homework and talk through the weekly challenges
- 45 Days of Prayer prompts
If you enjoyed this, you will love these posts:
- How to Have Hope While Waiting on God
- Hope When Life Is Hard and You Are Hard Pressed on Every Side
- How to Keep Hope Alive as a Christian