Do you find yourself often wishing your Husband had more relationships? Healthier relationships? Godly mentors in his life to help him grow spiritually? As women, we are relationship-oriented while our men tend to be task oriented. (And yes I understand it is a generalization and there are exceptions.) Healthy relationships are just not that high on my husbands’ priority list though they are very important. Today we will talk about ways to Respect him while fighting for Unity and Health in all Our Husbands Relationships.
My Husbands’ Relationships cause fights in our home
Who can relate to any of these thoughts and feelings?
- He chooses friends I don’t approve of.
- There are co-workers who influence him inappropriately.
- Female friendships pop up that cause all my hackles to rise and a side of me I don’t like to show itself.
- He is too distant from some of his family.
- There are members of his family he is way too close with.
- He and his boss never see eye to eye and it causes me to worry about the stability of his job.
- I wish he had a better relationship with the children.
This Series is about fighting for Unity in our Christian Marriage even in difficult seasons.
Remember we have a very real enemy – working day and night to sow seeds of doubt, fear, and discord. When he gets a foothold into our mind he can destroy the Unity God planned for our Marriage. We have to fight back!
How do we fight for Unity in a Christian Marriage?
Can we really fight for our Husbands’ Relationships to be healthy, to bring Unity to our Marriage?
Yes. We. Can.
We. Must. Fight. Back.
I hope I don’t sound like a broken record this month, but the plan is simple though hard to follow consistently…
We fight for Unity in our Marriage – with our Husbands’ Relationships – with Respectful Thoughts.
Step 1. Take Every Single Thought Captive.
2 Corinthians 10:5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ
Step 2. Take every captive thought through the Philippians 4:8 Test
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8 NASB).
Philippians 4:8 Test about my Husbands’ Relationships
What is True?
- He has relationships that are healthy – his sister, my mom, a few acquaintances at church and a neighbor
- There are unhealthy parts of his character that stop healthy relationships.
- He has unhealthy relationships with some people – his parents, people from his past, his extended family, leaders in his life, bosses now and from the past.
- I have seen him try to grow in this area.
What is honorable?
- This is my reminder – He makes mistakes but he is not his mistakes.
- There are real reasons he doesn’t want a lot of friendships in his life.
- He does not stop me from spending time with others.
- There is a desire to please me – so he goes out with couples with me.
- He wants to do better with his children.
What is Just?
- As a man, my husbands’ relationships will not look like mine.
- I have nagged him about this and been very disrespectful in the past about his relationships.
- Healthy Relationships – like everything else in my Husbands’ life – are between him and God and I have to leave it there.
What is Pure?
- I will not compare him to anyone else.
- While I pursue healthy relationships – I will guard against friendships with other men who seem more mature than him.
- I will intentionally seek out other like-minded wives and stay in that community.
What is lovely?
- He does not need to meet my expectations about his relationships.
- I know he has good intentions – even though he moves slower than I like.
- He is pushing through his fear to grow in this area.
- He is trying his best – not my best his best – and that matters.
What is of good repute?
- He shared the hurt of the past that makes healthy relationships a struggle.
- I need to treat him like I treat others in this area.
- This is hard for him and he is doing the best he can.
What is excellent?
- He has a few healthy relationships.
- I have seen him talking and laughing with godly men.
- He is honest with me about his relationships.
- There are many areas he has grown this past decade.
What is worthy of Praise?
- God is able to grow my husband’s relationships.
- I see God stirring a desire to grow Healthy Relationships and I will praise Him for that.
- The Holy Spirit is working in my husband – even when I can’t see or understand.
Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment?
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We fight for Unity in our Marriage – with our All Your Husbands’ Relationships – through Prayer.
Pray for his wife
Lord, I come before today confessing I allowed the enemy to gain a foothold in my thoughts and those thoughts have become words that hurt my husband. I have not respected him about his relationships. I have set unrealistic expectations that have created disappointment. Please forgive me for the disrespect. You said Respect him and I have not. Worse, I have told him of the disappointment and tried to play the role of the Holy Spirit in His life. Help me place all expectations at Your feet, trust You to work in his life and keep my eyes fixed on You instead of the problems and flaws I see in my husband. I trust You to do all the work and change me in this area.
Pray for his Character to be that of a True Friend
Father as I seek to respect my husband’s relationships I have to honestly confess I see things in his character that is hurting him. Things in his character that destroy relationships and prevent healthy relationships.
Please teach my husband to be a man who loves others (1 Corinthians 13:1) and Forgives easily (Matthew 18:21-35). Create in him a heart that Does nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regards one another as more important than himself (Philippians 2:3).
As much as it depends on him, help him to be at peace with others (Rom. 12:18).
Remind him he has been chosen of God, holy and beloved, and he can put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave him (Col. 3:12b-13)
Teach him that He who restrains his words has the knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding (Prov 17:27). Let him be Slow to anger and when there is righteous anger, help him not to sin; do not let the sun go down on his anger as it would destroy my Husbands’ Relationships (Ephesians 4:26).
Pray for a Healthy Relationship with God
I pray Jesus that my Husbands’ Relationship with You would be as it should. Set his priorities in Your order and show him how to Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment” Matthew 22:36-38.
Pray for Healthy Relationships other men
Lord, you have said Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17). The desire of my heart is that my husband would have Healthy Relationships with godly men and that those friendships would create Mentoring opportunities, accountability, and Spiritual Growth. Let him walk with wise men so he will be wise. Keep him from being the companion of fools so he will not suffer harm (Proverbs 13:20). Also please keep him from bad company so that his morals are not corrupted (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Pray for a Healthy Relationship with his Spouse
Father, I lift our Marriage up to you begging that you will heal whatever is unhealthy. Teach my husband how to love me as You love the Church. Give him a heart that shows 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 kind of love. Teach him Patience and Kindness. Remove Jealousy, Bragging, Arrogance, Disrespect or Acting unbecoming in Marriage, Selfishness in Marriage, Anger in Marriage, and Evil Thoughts in Marriage from our home. Help us learn to Always be Rejoicing In Marriage and Bearing All Things, Believing All Things, Hoping All things and Enduring All things in a Biblical Marriage.
Pray for a Healthy Relationship with his Children
Holy Spirit my husband longs to be a good father and have healthy relationships with our children that last a lifetime. Remind him that children are a gift of the Lord, and The fruit of the womb is a reward (Psalm 127:3). Open his eyes to the ways he exasperates and frustrates his children. Show him how to change this so that they will not lose heart (Colossians 3:21).
Pray for a Healthy Relationship with his Parents and family
Lord, you said, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you” (Exodus 20:12). Show him how to do this in a way that pleases you. But thank you that you give us a new family in Christianity. Help us all set healthy boundaries in love and walk in them without shame.
Pray for a Healthy Relationship with his Boss
Father, teach my husband what it means to Obey his leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over his souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for him (Hebrews 13:17). And let him practice forbearance (patience and being slow to speak disputes) so his rulers may be persuaded to his side and respect him. Give him a soft tongue breaks the bone opening doors of opportunity for him (Proverbs 25:15).
Pray for Healthy Relationships within the opposite sex
Jesus, please give my husband wisdom about friendships with other women. Remind him that not all things are good and help him discern any movement toward sexual immorality and run away (1 Corinthians 6:12-7:5). I beg you to protect him from emotional affairs, physical affairs, thoughts of affairs, women who would lure him away, sexting, pornography, questions about his sexual orientation and anything else that would create disunity in our marriage (Romans 13:13).
We fight for Unity in our Marriage – with our All Your Husbands’ Relationships – with Words of Affirmation
The last way we can fight for Unity Authentic faith is with Words of Affirmation. Words of Affirmation are a way men hear Respect. This is an amazing way to create momentum for real Unity and Change in our Marriage – even in a Difficult Season.
You will have to work back through the Philippians 4:8 Test. Pull out the good thoughts you are now working into your mind. Pick a few of them to say, text or write to your husband today.
Need help finding ideas to speak Words of Affirmation into your Husbands life?
Some examples I am going to try today.
- I really admire your healthy relationship with … (not saying the name to not embarrass either of them 😉 )
- This year I have seen you take steps to put others first and it makes me respect you so much.
- I know there are real reasons you don’t have a lot of friendships in your life. God reminded me what an honor it is that you trust me with that knowledge.
- Thank you for never keeping me from my friends.
- It meant so much to me that you went with me to the Life Group outing and spent time with other couples.
- It makes me melt to see you want good things for your children.
- I am so sorry for all the times I have nagged you and been disrespectful about your relationships.
- You have been trying your best to have healthy relationships and that is so sexy.
- It means so much to me that you share from your heart with me about the pain of your past friendships.
- When I see talking and laughing with godly men (insert name) it turns me on.
- I love that you are honest with me about your relationships and don’t hide that part of yourself.
- I see God stirring a desire in your to grow Healthy Relationships and it says so much about you that you are allowing Him to work in your life.
Those are just a few Words of Affirmation that would bless my husband and grow unity for our Marriage through Fighting for all his Relationships.
I’d love to know some of your ideas! Comment below.
Tiffany has a passion to equip wives to do Marriage God’s way and inspire women to choose hope and Joy in Christ through every season by growing in faith.
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