How do you prepare for empty nest syndrome? What effect will becoming an empty nester have on your marriage? I’ve heard countless stories of couples who just barely survive their marriage long enough to see the kids grow up and leave the nest. Many marriages end between year 20 and 25. Raise your hand if you would like to avoid that! Today Jayme Hull will share 6 Tips to Renew a Thriving Empty Nest Marriage.
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6 Tips to Renew a Thriving Empty Nest Marriage
I (Jayme Hull)wanted to ignore the facts and pretend this day wouldn’t come. It did anyway. One August day before I turned 50 years old, it happened. My oldest child left for college and our home began the journey to an Empty Nest Marriage.
How do you prepare for empty nest syndrome?
I tried to prepare, but there were few books available on the subject.
As a result, I was concerned about how this might be a make-or-break season of my life. I had many conversations with women who were really struggling with anxiety and depression as they faced the dreaded Empty Nest Syndrome. I wondered, “What will it be like for me? How do you prepare for empty nest syndrome”
It all began to hit my heart at the Freshman Orientation for College Students. Our oldest child was now all grown up and ready to join the college scene as a young Christian man.
I worried. Was he ready? Even more, I had fears of me being ready. I was so grateful to still have two high school kids at home, so technically my Nest was one-third Empty.
Before I knew it, our second son packed the car to leave for college. I realized I was losing a tiny piece of my heart with each child leaving the home.
It was painful.
It was exciting.
In this season of life, I knew in a desperate way I needed to draw closer to God.
If you are facing this season too (The empty nest), or even if you have a Tween who will all too soon leave you waving on the doorstep, consider taking these preemptive actions to prepare for an Empty Nest Marriage.
1. Pray Together for a thriving Empty Nest Marriage
One of the biggest changes we made in our marriage was when we began to kneel together to pray every morning before we started our day. This was a game-changer for our Empty Nest Marriage. We have not missed a day since we started. If one of us is traveling we still pray together over the phone and this prayer time is where the battles are fought and won! There is truth in the statement PRAY TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER!
Three short years later my baby girl started college and the Lord stretched me again. Ouch! It was official. My husband and I were now Empty Nesters.
You will see listed among the tips for empty nesters – Pray Together, Stay Together.You will see listed among the tips for empty nesters - Pray Together, Stay Together. Click To Tweet
2. Be self-aware and guard against the negative
My attitude was admittedly stinky at times and I allowed negative self-talk into my head.
As a result, my husband lovingly but strongly encouraged me to stay positive and change my attitude. He was right, though I hated to admit it. An attitude adjustment and a heart change were just what I needed.
One of the best empty nest marriage syndrome coping tips I can share with you is to be self-aware and talk about it.
I didn’t want to talk about it. Yet he just kept sharing all the positive things to think about as empty nesters. I soon had to get on board or just jump overboard and drown.
I always considered myself a positive person with an uplifting attitude but he was right. Something had changed in me. Fear and worry* were grabbing my heart.
Therefore, I had to choose my new positive position and decide to allow Jesus Christ to be enough no matter what. I started praying Psalm 138:8 on a daily basis.
Psalm 138:8 Finish what you started in me, God, your love is eternal – don’t quit on me now!
Click here for 3 Simple Things I Learned About Prayer From My Mentor
3. A New Attitude will help with rekindling marriage in the empty nest
Finally, I started using positive words and said them to myself out loud,
“I may have a home that is empty, but I’m not finished!”
“I’m not planning on sitting on the sidelines and watching life pass me by.”
“Use me, Lord! I want a stronger marriage and to make a difference in the lives around me.”
I needed support and finally, began meeting with my mentor on a more regular basis.
It wasn’t easy, but I learned from her that I didn’t have to do life alone.
A Giveaway to Help you Connect with a Mentor
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- Face To Face Mentoring Book
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4. Finding a good mentor will help an empty nest marriage
Mentoring*(LWArt) isn’t just a checklist or formula, it’s a relationship.
My Mentor was “Jesus with skin on” guiding me with God’s Words and sharing her very own God stories to help me navigate this new empty nest season of life.
Instead of falling apart I started to pray and ask God to pull me together.
For more Mentoring Stories visit: http://www.jaymeleehull.com/tag/mentoring/
While I was studying God’s Word to know Him more, He led me to three Scriptures that changed my life. I decided to write them on index cards to read and reread until they became my new way of thinking in my empty nest marriage.
5. Pray Over Your Marriage
Here’s a little Empty Nest Marriage Secret: Pray Scripture* over your marriage to see God’s Hand renew your heart in an empty nest marriage.
Are you struggling with the season God has you in right now? Maybe, just like me, you need God to show up in Scripture, your circumstances, and through a mentor. I know mentoring changed my life and it will change yours too!
Grab some paper and write out these Scriptures to begin a new journey with God as He speaks to your heart and uplifts your soul and spirit!
Here's a little Empty Nest Marriage Secret: Pray Scripture over your marriage to see God's Hand renew your heart in an empty nest marriage. Click To Tweet
“The Bible teaches that true joy is formed in the midst of the difficult seasons of life.” Frances Chan
6. Learn and Apply these Scriptures:
- God Holds All Things Together — Purpose
- Colossians 1:17 “ He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” (NIV)
- God Will Pick Up the Pieces — Peace
- Jeremiah 17:14 “God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise!” (MSG)
- God Put Me Together — Positive Plan
- Psalm 139:13-14 “You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because You are to be feared; all You do is strange and wonderful. I know it with all my heart.”
I’d love to give you a copy of these scriptures to print and use as a visual reminder of God’s promises! Click Here to Download them.
Which of these 6 Tips to Renew a Thriving Empty Nest Marriage Can You Try
The truth is all parents will come to this season of marriage. An Empty Nest Marriage that is facing Empty Nest Syndrom does not have to be the end of your marriage.
If all these tips feel overwhelming, just pick one. Which of the 6 Tips can you pick to begin doing today to prepare your marriage?
- Pray together
- Be self-aware and guard against the negative
- Get a new positive attitude about the change
- Find a good mentor
- Pray over your marriage
- Learn and apply scripture
“The key is understanding some basic principles that don’t just apply to any one season of life but transcend all seasons of life – not allowing our circumstances to define our outlook on life, but allowing what God’s Word says about life to define that outlook.” ~Max Lucado
Can I pray over you?
Dear Lord, We need you. We can’t do life alone. Please come and comfort our hearts and souls in this difficult season of life. We are totally dependent on you for our purpose, peace, and the positive plan you have for us. Use us for your Kingdom and Glory. In Your powerful name, we pray!
Jayme is a wife, mother, and grandmother who is passionate about encouraging and mentoring the next generation to walk close to the Lord and connect with other believers. Learn more at http://www.JaymeLeeHull.com
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