My husband and I stared at each other as we sat on the marriage therapist’s couch. We were less than thrilled with the advice she has just given us. “The two of you need to learn to have fun together again. When was the last time you laughed and had a good time together?”
Nineteen years of marriage, special needs children, and church ministry had taken a toll on our marriage.
Our marriage was lacking fun and joy but we thought that was the least of our problems. We expected the therapist to give us an action plan of working on communication skills. Perhaps we needed weekly sit-down sessions to hash out our troubles. But – go on more date nights? That wasn’t exactly the advice we were paying $75 an hour to hear. Can you relate?
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Have Fun together to Reclaim the Joy in your Christian Marriage
This advice was exactly what we needed.
It’s not that we didn’t need to work on communication, because we did. And it’s not that an action plan wasn’t important, because it was. But we were working so hard on our marriage and life we forgot how to have fun together.
The counselor reminded us that one of the huge joys of marriage is having a life-long playmate.
In the struggles of life, have you forgotten to have fun with your spouse? If your marriage is in need of a joy-refresher like ours was, here is a helpful list to get you started.
10 Ways to Have Fun with Your Husband Again
Here are 10 ways to have fun with your husband again. Having Fun will help you Reclaim that Joy you’ve lost in a Christian Marriage. Don’t overthink this or try to schedule the perfect time to start. Pick something simple to try today!
Laugh out loud.
- The next time your husband says something even a bit funny, notice it and actually laugh out loud. I once read that men consider it a personal victory when they can get a woman to laugh.
- Watch a funny movie or TV show together. Enjoy something sweet and funny one of your kids says or laugh at the silly antics of your cat.
Play a game together.
- Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, or a card game – pick your favorite game. A friendly wager makes it all the more interesting.
Do something physical together.
- Men enjoy physical activities together. Go for a walk or a bike ride, tackle a project, or find a local playground and ask your husband to push you on the swing.
- Hey, remember the endless flirting you did when you were dating? You don’t have to give that up now. Try this list of 20 Text Messages Your Husband Will Love to get you started.
- You as a woman may tend to want everything “just so” before you can get into the mood for sex, but most husbands are the opposite. He longs for sex as a way to feel close to you. Take the steps to mentally prepare yourself for an evening of fun and joy together.
- How many times do we let 2 weeks go by, then 4 weeks, and then soon we can’t even remember the last time we went on a date with our spouse? If budget is a concern, check out these 30 Days of Frugal Dates.
- Ask God to bring more joy into your marriage, starting today.
Share an inside joke.
- After years of marriage, little things happen that seem just too crazy to be true, except it really happened! Laugh together at an inside joke that only the two of you understand.
- My husband and I spend several years miles apart while we were dating. We bought every card there was at the time and sent them to each other. Leave a sexy note on your husband’s pillow or stick a sweet card in his lunch bag.
Words of Affirmation (admiration and appreciation) as the Best Gift I could give my husband when trying to heal our broken Marriage.
Find these Love Notes to your Husband in the HopeJoyInChrist Shop! To use them simply download the pack, print them out, commit to pray over them and give one per week to your husband for the next year. You will build him up and create momentum for real change in his life!
Try these 10 ways to have fun with your husband again. You will be amazed at the joy that flows from your marriage. Pick one to try today.
How do you have fun with your husband? Share in the comments below.
Sara Borgstede is the inspiring writer at TheHolyMess.com where she shares her story of faith and Fitness with thousands of women every month. Be sure to check out her: My Hope Toolbox Printable Kit for Depression & Sadness
- Refresh your spirit and find encouragement with this beautifully designed printable kit for depression & sadness, My Hope Toolbox, which you can download now. Depression and sadness hit hard, yet God offers us peace. This tool puts resources you need for wellness right at your fingertips
Do you need some encouragement to keep pressing into that Daily Commitment? We could all use a community to help us in Reclaiming Hope & Joy in our marriages!
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Sara Borgstede is a speaker, writer, triathlete, and 100 lb weight loss success story. Sara and her husband Mike are parents to 5 children by birth and special needs adoption, and were foster parents to 35 others. She takes a lot of power naps. Find her atwww.theholymess.com.