How To Reclaim Hope & Joy in Date Night ( #ChristianMarriage, #BiblicalWifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

How to Reclaim Hope and Joy in Date Night

If you wish to begin couples counseling with one of our staff in our counseling offices, we ask you to commit to date nights. I am astounded to this day as we continuously define what occurs during a date and what it looks like.

Our busy, often distracted culture seems to have forgotten how important the practice of dating is. 

It is Important- not only before marriage -but as an investment in the marital glue to hold the relationship together keeping it strong, connected and also fun!

How To Reclaim Hope & Joy in Date Night FB ( #ChristianMarriage, #BiblicalWifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

What a Date Is Not

  1. A Child Included Activity
    • We’ve actually had people ask can they bring the baby or a child and put them on an electronic.
      • The answer is No!
      • It’s good for your kids to miss you and you them.
    • Leave them with a babysitter, family member or swap with another family so you both can enjoy time away.
      • Parents can often struggling with an anxiety disorder or unhealthy separation anxiety.
        • If you aren’t able to leave your children for a few hours with a trustworthy person – you may consider this.
  2.  Marriage Counseling
    • It’s not a place to work through problems and discuss difficult topics.
      • Save that for a separate meeting where you have pen and paper on hand and can bring you calmest self.
      • Are there issues that continuously blow up before even working on them?
        • Pray through them.  That will connect you to the spirit.   The Spirit can help you embrace the fruit of self-control or pick up some emotional self-regulation tools.
        • Often the topic isn’t the problem. Our approach to the problem is.
  3. A Family Planning Session
    • Leave the kid problems, chore divisions, and calendars at home and off the agenda please.
  4. A Regular Group Outing
    • We often find that couples avoid each other through this process Double Dates.
      • It is fine to occasionally double date, but don’t make a regular practice of it.
      • On a double date people spend money but really have fun with someone besides their spouse.
    • Often when we do make plans with another couple, we drive separately to and from the destination and we also intentionally sit together, hold hands, or snuggle up a little.

Remember the days of great dates?

Your best self showed up. You were well groomed, excited (maybe had some butterflies), and were you but the best you we can be.

I truly believe we are called to bring this person into our marriage dates as often as we can. That doesn’t mean we have to spend a lot of $ on a fancy dinner or tickets and we can’t dress comfortably.

I’ve learned that our appearance does affect our mood and often our behaviors.

When we know we look our best, most of us feel fantastic – especially women.

I challenge you to put on that outfit you feel beautiful in.  Spray on that glamourous scent (unless someone has allergies) and show up feeling attractive.  And dare I say it? Sexy.

In 1 Corinthians 10:31, Scripture calls us “…whether we eat or drink…” to “do it all for the glory of God” (NIV).

I truly believe dating is no exception. If you are a person of faith, I encourage you to ask, “How could God be glorified in our dating life?”

What a Date is

  1. A Romantic Encounter
    • Between two people designed to increase attraction, intimacy and closeness.
      • One of my favorite ways to describe intimacy is Into Me See.
    • Dating allows us the chance to go beyond discussing the mundane details of our lives.
      • We can share about our heart desires, dreams, passions and interests.
    • We find that child rearing, parent caregiving, or anything can overtaken your personal development.
      • That can result in something you as one party in the dating process needs to address.
        • Our center always includes an individual component in couples counseling because we know two strong “I’s” make a strong “we.”
      • (Boundaries in Marriage training by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.)
  2. Fun!!
    • At least it should be.
    • Dating should not be an obligation.  It should be a chance for two people to let loose, do what they love.
      • For the sheer pleasure of bonding and memory making, experience something new together.
  3. A Regularly Schedule Event
    • Between a husband and a wife.
    • Yes, it would be great if this could happen spontaneously but in an overscheduled world, what we don’t make a priority on calendars, rarely occurs.
    • My husband and I intentionally plan dates at least two times a month and try and add a third one into the mix.
    • When we get a couple in our offices who haven’t been on a date in months, we know there is a problem in priorities.
      • There are usually problems bonding.
      • Or someone isn’t sharing their true self and often avoiding a difficult marriage or spouse.

Rejoice in our Spouses

Proverbs 5:18 reminds us “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (NIV)

Proverbs 5:18-19 (Sex in Christian Marriage, Biblical Wifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

Now we weren’t very young when we took the plunge (we were in our 30’s) but I believe this scripture implies a blessing that occurs when we rejoice in our spouses.

Having trouble getting there?

  • I encourage you for the next 30 days to daily write down 3 distinct things you enjoy and appreciate about your spouse.
  • I even dare you to express your gratitude verbally or in writing.  Click Here to Download 30 prompts to get you started.  

Marriage Challenge 30 Way's to Appreciate your Husband PinIt 2 ( #ChristianMarriage, #BiblicalWifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

We are having a 30 day #MarriageChallenge with this Free Downloadable!  Come join us in the closed wives only FB Group!

30 Day Marriage Challenge Words of Appreciation (#ChristianMarriage, #BiblicalWifehood #MarriageChallenge)

Who knows? It just might lead to better dates, hot sex, and maybe a happier man and woman.

I’d love to hear your tips for great date nights and how you make time for your marriage relationship in the comments below.

Need help getting that date night planned.  I have a Free Date Night Check List.  Click Here to download it!

The Married Couples Date Night Check List PinIt (Christian Marriage, Biblical Wifehood (Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage))

Sharing these ideas helps all of us find more adventure.  It encourages all of us to make dating a priority. Reclaiming more joy and hope for our less than perfect marriages.


It’s funny that we need to be reminded of those things – you couldn’t have convinced my younger self that I would one day forget how to do this!  But I needed to be reminded! Thank you Michelle! 

Visit Michelle at www.counselorthoughts.com and be sure to subscribe. You can also check out the Counselor Thoughts Podcast .  #texasspeaker #christiancounselor #uncomfortableconversations


We are in a 30 day Series called Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage

Here are a few of the Articles so Far:

Chase Jesus When Your Marriage Is on the Brink
Biblical Submission When Trusting Your Husband Is Hard
Marriage Communication: Why & How to Restore It
How To Face An Empty Nest And Renew Your Marriage
4 Marriage Secrets so You Never Say That Dirty “D” Word
The Uncomfortable Truth About Sex in a Christian Marriage

So many of you asked to get all the posts in a Downloadable PDF so you can read them on the go.  I am happy to oblige!

Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage Free e-Book PinIt Img (Christian Marriage, Biblical Wifehood)

Download Reclaiming Hope & Joy in your Marriage Free e-Book

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in HIM,


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Michelle Nietert

Michelle Nietert is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Clinical Director of Michelle Nietert, Licensed Professional Counselor and Clinical Director of Community Counseling Associates, has been passionately equipping audiences in the community, church, school and private practice office setting for over twenty years. Her articles have been published in ParentLife Magazine and on the MOPS blog. She is currently working with a publishing agent on a book for parents equipping them to engage in Uncomfortable Conversations with their Children. Michelle and her husband Drew work diligently at being happily married for almost 15 years and have two children they almost adore too much. Michelle loves inspiring readers and audiences alike to discover Solutions for Life with Practical Teaching and Biblical Wisdom. Visit Michelle at www.counselorthoughts.com and be sure to subscribe at http://eepurl.com/b3eQd9 You can also check out the Counselor Thoughts Podcast at http://michellenietert.com/podcast/ #texasspeaker #christiancounselor #uncomfortableconversations

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