My husband and I (Julie Holmquist) have been blessed to raised our four boys in beautiful Colorado Springs for the past five years. The view of Pikes Peak still takes my breath away at times. It taught me something crucial about perspective.
One particular morning as I was driving my son to school, I noticed he was straining his neck to look back at Pikes Peak. He was fixated on how small the peak looked the farther we drove away from our house.
Puzzled, he asked, “Why is Pikes Peak small now?” I told him it wasn’t smaller; it just seemed that way. It was because of something called “perspective.”
“Your perspective, the way you see something, determines if something looks bigger or smaller.”
God used that conversation to speak to my heart that morning.
Having the right perspective in marriage is vital to a healthy relationship.
Recently, in my marriage, God seemed small.
I was too far away from Him, and I was too focused on our problems, the stumbling blocks that kept tripping us up.
The problems that had been with us for a while seemed huge and insurmountable. They were all I could see! My heart was growing cold toward God because He hadn’t changed my husband the way I wanted Him to.
My marriage was not thriving. We were surviving — drifting through life with barely enough to give each other at the end of the day.
So there I was with a small God and BIG problems, at least that is how it seemed.
However, God began to work with me on adjusting my perspective–how I saw Him working in our marriage.
As usual, He started the process by working in me first.
He gave me eyes to see what the real issue was:
- I was going to my husband with an empty cup and asking him to be fill it.
No matter how much my husband tried to fill those empty places, he fell terribly short. He’s human! Only God can truly fill those places in my heart that so desperately long to be filled. Then, and only then, can I go to my husband and share with him out of the abundance of what God has given me.
Do You See What I See?
Do you SEE God working in your marriage? Or are you too far away to recognize His hand in it?
Sometimes God works in miraculous ways. Other times He chooses to work in the subtle, day-to-day events of our lives.
Get closer to God, and you’ll see them. They are there!
Oh, give us eyes to see!
When problems come, I have to stop and do a heart check.
Am I drawing close to God and what His heart is for our marriage?
Or am I trying to fix things on my own by nagging, withholding sex, pointing a blaming finger?”
What about you?
The next time troubled waters seek to engulf the two of you, take a step back. Get a fresh perspective on Who God is in your marriage!
Ask God to change your heart-from always seeing your husband as the problem to seeing God as the answer!
Focus on God’s power to change a hardened heart. Remind yourself of the forgiveness He has freely given you so you can freely give it to your husband.
I hope you know by now, every marriage has problems. But how big and powerful is God in the midst of those problems?
The Word says that it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed to effectively bring about God’s healing, restoration and power into a marriage of two imperfect people committed to loving each other imperfectly. (God has even brought healing and restoration to marriages when only one person was committed to it. So don’t despair if that’s you!)
How big is God in your midst?
Are you drawing closer to Him? He promises He will draw close to you! Are your issues looming large in your life, or have you given God room to grow in your marriage?
Prayer: “God, my marriage is holy, set apart. We are set apart for You! Our marriage is Yours! We want You to work in the midst of our heartache and our pain. We want You to have Your way in us! Help us to get close to You and watch You work like no one else can. Instead of seeing the tangled up mess in our relationship, help us to shift our focus to see you high and lifted up. Remind us that You are ready and able to redeem what broken lives. May our eyes see You in the big ways and in the seemingly small ways. Give us the eyes to see!
God is a BIG God in our midst! Let Him be BIG in your marriage!
Can I share some verses to Keep Your Eyes fixed on Jesus even through the hard times in your Marriage?
I’d love to give you a Free Printable to print out, cut up and post around the house to remind you: Your God is Big!
I needed that reminder today… No matter how big my problem is, my God is bigger!
Thank you Julie for that timely word!
You will want to visit Julie at StuffOfHeaven.com and stay connected with her (PST. There will be a Part 2 in a couple of days- I know you’ll enjoy that as well!)
We are in a Series called Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage
Reclaiming Hope and Joy in your Christian Marriage
Three Ways God Works Through Hard Seasons of Marriage
What Submission Looks Like in a Christian Marriage
How To Be a Biblical Wife To an Ungodly Husband
How to Create an Abundantly Fruitful Marriage
The Best Kept Secret Piece of the Marriage Puzzle
The Greatest Gift I Gave My Man
Moving from Lost to Found in Marriage
Keep up with all the posts on the Main Biblical Wifehood Page
And Don’t forget to Enter the Ultimate Reclaiming Hope & Joy in Your Marriage Giveaway!