MarriageMonday Week 3 [Love is Kind]

Marriage Monday week 3 [Love is Kind]

Last week we looked at the way’s that Love is Patient.   I hope you took the challenge to re-work through a situation where you were impatient.  Patience is just one of those things that require practice…  not fun – but very helpful.   This week we will dig into what it means to be Kind.  Kind always seems like a vague word.  But it is in fact an action word.  Let’s dig in!

 

MarriageMonday Week 3 [Love is Kind]

 

MarriageMonday Week 3 [Love is Kind]
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.   8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
 

Love is Kind

Love does/speaks good when it can, even in the face of injuries.
I would be fine with this one if it stopped before the comma… right?
MarriageMonday [LoveIsKind] Loves does/speaks good when it can, even in the face of injuries
 Doing and speaking good when I can is not a challenge.  The challenge is doing it in the face of injuries.  That is not natural in my human self!
Please note here that I am talking about injuries that happen in the normal course of our lives – NOT ABUSE.  There is Never a time when abuse is acceptable.  If you are in a place of abuse – seek help.  There are many places that help women in abusive situation.  
 
To apply this I have to find things that my husband likes and do them even when his words have hurt me.

Kindness puts him first even when he has not been kind.

When I am hurt, I have had to learn to pray.

Have you noticed a pattern? I simply can not do anything good in this marriage without God’s help. When I pray, God reminds me to forgive.

(Is forgiveness something you wrestle with?  I used to too -I’d love to share how I got out of that bitter resentful cycle.  When you subscribe I’ll send you my E-book “A Pathway to Forgiveness” to help you start down that journey)

Then God reminds me of things that show my hubby love.

It could be a simple as picking up a bag of Twizzlers while I’m out at the store. (The way to a man’s heart is often through his tummy right?!?!?!)

 
Kindness also means I need to swallow my critical response (of which I have many).
It means I need to intentionally find something to praise him about instead of my usual criticism.
 
Ephesians 4:29 Let No unwholesome words ever come out of your mouth
 For example.
My husband can be very critical of himself.  Recently he was having a conversation with me where he was upset about being late to work so often.
He was really giving himself a hard time about it and he turned to me and said “wouldn’t you say I am just a late person”.  
Now, in that moment I had 2 options.
  1. I could have agreed with him 
    • He is late often and that does affect our family.  
      • That would have been true, but not kind or loving.
  2. What I have had to practice is a way to pivot the conversation. 
    • In this case I began questioning weather “late” is necessarily a character trait.
    • Then I pivoted to listing things that are good and true about his character.
  • He is a great father
  • A hard worker
  • Very smart and intuitive
  • He shows love to use in an amazing way
In this way the conversation was redirected and I was able to actively show love to my husband.  This time it ended well – though I do not always get it right… have I mentioned I have a mouth on me?

Challenge Time: How can you specifically show kindness to your husband in the next few days?

 Need some encouragement? Comment the ares you are going to pick and know that I will be praying for you throughout this series!
 
Prayer is our weapon against an enemy who actively seeks to destroy our marriages.   Lets fight back together!
Have you missed some in this #MarriageMonday Series?

in Him,


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Tiffany Montgomery

Tiffany is a wife and mother who is passionate about Encouraging and Equipping Women through Biblical Discipleship.

26 thoughts to “Marriage Monday week 3 [Love is Kind]”

  1. “The Word of God teaches us everything we need to know about the opposite sex,” from Dr. Creflo Dollar’s Winning In Troubled Times. Ephesians 5:21 reminds us who are MARRIED, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” That word “SUBMIT” is a hard word to swallow and after 53 years of being married to the same lady, at times, it’s still hard to swallow. But then I’m not “submitting” for her sake, my sake…but for Christ’s sake. Some good information you’ve pointed out and WELCOME to our little group!

    1. Thanks Mel! So true. That S word is very important… I hate that it is only pulled out in regards to marriage. We are told to submit to one another, submit to authorities, submit to our elders… everyone really – considering others more highly than ourselves. If we were living that way we would see such a difference in all our relationships!

        1. Its funny how those 2 S words counter each other. I know I am not submitting when I feel my Self Centered-ness rise up (or in some cases when hubby points it out in love) It is just so hard to balance things. Only by His Grace for sure.

  2. Love this – I think sometimes we get so caught up in day to day life that we forget to properly nurture our relationships! I’m definitely going to spend some time showing my man some kindness!

    1. Isn’t it funny that our marriage is usually the relationship we neglect? Thanks for the comment Cassie!

  3. Wow, I just stumbled on this blog, then I fall in love. I used to have memorized the whole chapter of Corinthians 13, it is a beautiful chapter though and yeah always a reminder in everyday married life.

    1. It’s all about being in the process. Getting better at it is good! I do the same thing with hubby. Praying for you and your family Betsy!

    1. Stacy, What I love about this passage is that it actually wasn’t written specifically for those who are married… Paul is writing to all believers… we are to treat everyone this way.

  4. Being kind is essential for harmony. Sometimes when we are stressed we turn into little monsters… It’s important to be loving and kind even if we are currently not at the best state of ourselves.

    1. LOl… little monsters is a good description! Especially at home with those we care for most. Kindness goes a long way.

  5. I love how you redirected the conversation when your husband was being hard on himself about being late at work often. This is a great way to show your other half your love and respect for him/her.

    1. Thanks Andrea… it takes practice, but it has been one of the most important tools in my marriage tool box!

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