Marriage can be hard hard Y’all! Many days I find myself struggling with being a godly wife (living out Biblical Wifehood). I need a community and encouragement to keep on keeping on. That’s a big part of why I started this Blog actually.
I spent several years -struggling through my marriage- hopelessly searching for help. It was easy to find bits and pieces of advice here and there, but nothing that really made a difference. I wanted to share everything I’ve learned in one place. My prayer is that it will equip other Wives who are searching for real help and encourage others.
I’ve been married to Bud for over a decade and most of those years have been hard.
I cried out to God over how hard things were. I felt so unloved. It seemed as if things would never get better.
My life and Marriage are anything but a fairy-tale.
I have made more mistakes in my 35 years than most people make in a lifetime. One proof of my many mistakes is that Bud is my second husband.
As I prayed and prayed for Bud to change, God confronted me with a fact. 2 failed marriages to 2 completely different men.
I was the common denominator.
Overwhelming emotion came over my part in this failing marriage. “I don’t know what to do differently,” I told God, “but I won’t quit,”.
A sweet pastor’s wife recommended the book, The Power of a Praying Wife, to me when my 1st marriage fell apart. In reality, I didn’t want to fix that marriage. I wanted out. I never read the book or did anything to save that relationship; to honor that commitment.
I never thought divorce would hurt so deeply.
Marriage is hard , but divorce felt like someone ripped the heart out of my body and poured salt in the raw wound. I remember those days and the pain of it all. Those memories created a sense of desperation in me to save this marriage.
At all cost I had to avoid repeating that mistake! I began reading the book, and it taught me how to really pray for Bud. I noticed things slowly beginning to change… in me.
That’s right; God had plans to change me.
This has been a long frustrating road. The road is still stretching out before me, but I see beauty in the scenery instead of the misery I saw at the start.
In the midst of great worry and pain, stepped another preacher’s wife with another book Facinating Womanhood. This book is very controversial and does not conform itself completely to my faith.
It sought to change every part of my wifehood.
Each chapter seemed to peel me apart like skinning a live bear. I was mad and raw and hurting in more ways that I had words to express.
I tried each idea on Bud and then cried because it worked; Every last backward, outdated, archaic idea worked. These things were opening my husband up.
He began to talk to me about real things.
He began to share his soul with me.
He started helping me and showing love toward me for the first time in years.
I could see how wrong I had been. How many years had I wasted in ignorance about my role in marriage? I had no idea I had been such an ungodly wife.
Could it be that marriage is supposed to be about making me Holy… not happy?
Then God started to pair all those lessons with specific scriptures. I have been blown away on this journey toward understanding biblical wifehood.
Recently God challenged me with a call to action:
I am going to share some practical tips and encouragement each Monday (Marriage Monday).
These are the things that radically changed my marriage. It is my prayer that you would then be ready to teach another woman.
I am going to challenge your ideas… not with my ideas, but with clear scriptures.
Let’s ask God, “What does the Bible say about being a Godly wife?”
Let’s be willing to let go of any thinking and acting that the Bible speaks against.
Change comes when we are willing to embrace God’s way- no matter how hard it seems.
If you haven’t experienced it, I know you will learn that God’s way is always worth it.
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I believe in the power of prayer. Each Monday I pray through a list of couples who are struggling in their Marriage. If you’d like to be added to the list please just comment below your and your spouses first name. Prayer changes things!